A/N: This is somewhat a sequel to All She Had Been, but now this is in Ziva's point of view. All She Had Been gained a lot of love, so thanks guys. I hope you enjoy this one; I worked on it for days!
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Figures.
Ziva David had never expected to fall in love, especially with Tony DiNozzo, infamous player scared of commitment.
He was foolish. His manners were deeply lacking. He could be so immature. He flirted with any woman who breathed. He had an easily upset temper. He had authority issues. He endlessly teased her. He tousled her hair. He dared to pick fights with her. He gave her that famous DiNozzo grin at every turn. He was so honest. He watched her when she thought she wouldn't notice… but she always did. Somehow, he knew more about her than anyone else. He made her fall in love with him.
At least, that's what she had thought. It had all ended so abruptly several months ago when, well, it ended abruptly. No explanation. Not questions. No hints. Nothing. And since then she had never felt so alone. Ziva had never felt such need to stay strong for fear of falling apart.
It had ended when she went back to Israel for the second time. All week he had been bugging her about her upcoming trip, and all week she rejected his every attempt at information. She wanted to tell him. But she couldn't. She couldn't tell him about Michael Rivkin. Michael would ruin everything, every chance they had.
She had never meant to grow so… fond… of Michael. That summer away from the team had been so hard. For the first time in her life, she was forced to choose between home and home, if only in her heart. She had arrived in Israel broken and hurting, but she'd never let anyone know. For weeks she waited for Tony to call, write, email, anything. But he never did. Gradually, Ziva gave up on the hope she had once clung to.
For the next months, Ziva put what extra energy she had into her… well, whatever she and Michael had. It was obvious that his attachment was miles deeper than hers, but she needed something, someone, to distract her. It never got very serious, but he thought it had, and so did her father. She would have fought back, and everything in her wanted to. But all she could think through those months was how Tony never called. He obviously never wanted what she did.
Tony had been such a player when she first met him. The word commitment made him think of rehab, not relationships. He was sure to google every pretty girl who walked by, and those who didn't. He was rash and thoughtless. He was extremely loyal to Gibbs. That hadn't changed, and neither had his temper. But now… He was different. He wanted more than one night of fun. He was focused and matured, but as witty and sarcastic as ever. He had more respect for women, despite the fact that he hadn't had much luck with them recently.
Keeping Michael a secret for so long had torn down on her. She wanted to run, run from it all. She wanted out of this. Ziva wasn't sure how much longer she could go on like this. Gone were the days of the back-and-forth banter with Tony. No more were the pranks and paper ball wars. She had put up her wall again. She was on the defensive. It was the only way to protect herself. It was the only way to protect her heart.