Death is easy; peaceful.
Life is harder.
My eyes took in a bright light shining down on me. I wasn't sure where I was, or what happened in the car accident exactly, but I knew I was dead. I ached everywhere, and I presumed that this was where I went to hell. But why?
What had I done wrong to deserve all of this pain as I died, and why did bright lights come with hell? It hurt my eyes.
''Kristen?'' Oh no, n, no, no. Please, don't say that he died too. He couldn't have, could he? He was nowhere near the accident. ''Kristen, love?'' My Rob's voice called for me again. There was a shift of movement from somewhere or other…I could hear it.
And then he was there in front of my face, smiling down at me. He looked just the same as always; messy, bronzed; Edward hair, those lovely blue-grey eyes that smoldered so perfectly, and that perfect, haunting, pale face.
Haunting, because we were obviously both dead. And I longed so badly to ask him what happened to him. Of course, I was happy that we were now together again, as I was so selfish, but I was always distraught about the fact that he was dead too. He had a life to live still, and a better one than mine.
''Rob?'' I asked, unsure. My voice was hoarse, it didn't sound like my own. I coughed, and miraculously I was allowed to do it. He smiled at me in relief, and nodded his head. ''Oh Rob.'' I sighed happily, and reached out to touch his face.
He felt exactly the same as he always did. His soft, glowing skin felt absolutely amazing underneath my tender fingertips. He leaned into my touch, as if we were alive, and sighed happily too in response.
But I had to do something first. I had to ask him why we were here. What he had done that was so bad to get into hell. If I went to hell then maybe it was for being so selfish and rude, but Rob? He had no flaw. And he didn't belong to burn in hell, like how I did. It wasn't fair!
''Rob,'' I sighed under my breath again, calling for him. He looked up at me again, and found my eyes, as he watched me closely. ''Why are you dead?'' I asked him, sounding as bewildered as I felt right now.
His face screwed up in confusion, as he took in my words, and now I was confused. he looked like he almost thought I was mad, like he didn't know what I was saying. But then his face turned back into recognition in a moment, realizing my words.
''You think we're both dead?'' He asked me, sounding slightly humorous. I nodded my head, not finding this situation at all funny, and feeling a little confused as to why he did find this funny somehow.
''Of course,'' I reasoned, nodding my head. He smiled down at me in response, as his hand brushed away a loose strand of hair on my forehead. ''We're not dead, love.'' He murmured gently, as his eyes travelled down my face, and took in my features, my confused expression, and the wires going in and out of my skin…
''You're in hospital; you had a pretty bad car accident. You're Mum has been calling you, and she told me to ring her as soon as you wake up, so that she can speak to you. She couldn't get a flight out to America, but you're Dad's here, but he's sat with Seth at the minute.'' He explained carefully to me, whispering the words softly.
His hands were putting me off, as they ran gently, softly at the top of my hair, removing loose strands from my clammy forward. ''But…if I'm not dead, and you're not dead…then…'' I trailed off, confusing myself even more.
He chuckled as I went back to being silent, and leaned down carefully, before pressing his lips very softly to my forehead. ''I hope you can forgive me…for letting you go like that.'' He begged quietly, as his lips brushed gently across my forehead.
''Oh Rob,'' I sighed, and pressed my hands gently into the back of his hair. I felt his lips turn up into a smile on my skin.
''Do you believe that you're not dead now? That we're together, in hospital.'' I nodded my head once lightly, and sighed again, in happiness. Somehow, things had worked out. We weren't dead, and I was still being given a chance to be with him, which was all I wanted.
''Hmm-mm,'' I mumbled back, making him chuckle. His sweet, minty breath was beyond dazzling on my skin. I could almost taste his delicious scent for myself. ''Oh Rob…I love you so much.'' Instantly, I froze in the bed; realizing what I had just said.
He forced his head away from me, and watched me carefully. ''I love you too Kristen, so much so.'' He admitted, before his lips found mine.
I gasped, and kissed him back with the force that I wanted, that I needed. The heart-meter machine went wild, but I ignored that.
I so desperately wanted this, to kiss him with what I felt for him; prove to him about just how much I loved him. I needed that, after I had taken so long to finally admit my feelings for him; that I was so desperately in love with him.
But finally, he forced himself to pull away from me. He grinned at me, before taking his seat next to my bed again, and taking my right hand in his own. ''Are we okay Kristen, please tell me we're okay?'' He begged me desperately.
I smiled at him, and nodded my head. ''We're more than okay, Rob.'' He grinned at me, and sighed in relief.
''Good, even if I don't deserve it.' He looked away then and frowned. I reached for him, and placed a hand under his chin, and turned his face, so that he was forced to look at me.
''What do you mean?'' I asked him, confused.
His eyes fell to the bed, and refused to meet my eyes as he spoke. ''I let you drive in the state you were in. And I should never have dumped you in the first place.'' I should have known that he would find a way to blame himself. How could anyone have stopped someone so determined to drive?
''You wouldn't have been able to stop me, trust me.'' I promised him, and his eyes finally met mine. 'You can't stop someone who had been so determined to drive.'' I explained, whilst my hands ran gently over his features.
''I love you.'' I promised him again, for the second time now. He smiled in response to the three words. ''I love you too Kristen.'' He promised, before his lips found mine again. ''I always will,'' he promised against my lips. ''Forever,'' he added once more, before his lips came crashing down hard onto mine.
As I always say…ah but there's more. : ) There will be a follow-up to Ying-Yang called Forget The past, and the title is already up now. : )