Brig Talk

"Hey guys, Sunny wanted me to watch you for a bit. And by Sunny I mean Sunstreaker, you know him, I think. He's the yellow Lamborghini, the one you threw into that batch of manure last battle. Man, does he stink now, you would never believe it! Kinda like that pile of banyules that one time lived under my berth on Cybertron. They were a cute bunch, all so tiny. Do you guys have any pets? What kind of creatures would flyers keep as pets anyway, probably a bird or something. Maybe a drone like Lazerbeak, what do you think? Or maybe those Sharkticons we found on this one planet, they seemed cuddly enough when they weren't trying to eat me. But you guys probably don't have enough time to take care of a pet, I mean the war and all. Did you ever think about what it would be like if the war just ended? I want to have my own shop, or maybe I should have Prowl as my partner – he's really smart, I'm sure he'd be a great help with the counting and stuff. Or maybe I should start a shooting school. I could have one right next to Jazz's dance studio. He's a big music fan, you know, he likes to listen to it all the time. Sometimes he even dances to it, but only when Prowl's not looking, he can get really angry sometimes when he notices someone's not working."

"What kind of music does he like?"

Thundercracker snapped his jaw shut (which had gradually opened wider and wider as the monologue progressed), and glanced at his trinemate.

When their new guard had entered, none of them had been expecting this flood of words to come pouring out of his mouth. It was most definitely some kind of Autobot torture method used to drive their prisoners to self-deactivation. He had to admit it was pretty nifty. And amazing, considering how little intakes motor-mouth there took.

Perfect new friend for Starscream.

"What kind? He likes so many, he always says it isn't fair to not at least hear how said music sounds before saying it was stupid, like the humans do sometimes. They can just look at its name and decide it's not for them or that it's-"

"What kind of music does Jazz like?"

"I didn't answer?"


"Oh. He likes blues, reggae and jazz the most. I find the last one funny, that Jazz likes jazz. It's kinda like last month, when-"

"Does he like other kinds?"

"Huh? Oh, he says he finds every genre kinda nice in their own way. He prefers those three, but he says classical is nice too, and some rap songs, and even one or two country songs, but Spike says country is for 'trailer trash', which I don't really know what it is but I don't think it's a nice thing to say, cause Prowl made a weird face at that and-"

"What other kinds?"

"He likes... you know, I don't remember what other kinds he likes. He says each genre has at least one song that he finds agreeable, but I'm not sure what their names are. I do know that he's not exactly fond of heavy metal or punk rock, he says they sound more like shouting and growling then actual singing, but a lot of humans seem to like it. Then again they like the strangest things, for example-"

"What kind of music do you like?"

"Me? I like reggae a little, but I really like fusion. It's really fun, combining different styles in one song, it's awesome! Like this one band, Creature Feature. The words are a little creepy, but I just tune them out and listen to the music, and it's really nice."

"Creature Feature, huh?"

"Yeah, they pretend they're monsters and ghouls, and the lyrics show that, but I think they're really talented, at least an account of the way they manage to pretend to be spirits, and such."

"I like classical music myself."

"Really? I listened to it a few times, but I always feel close to recharge from listening to it."

"You probably hadn't found the right composition yet. I really like the piano and violin, and some orchestras have some really lively opuses."


"It basically means an artistic creation, for literature, music or art."

"Wow, you're smart."

Skywarp chuckled, and lay on his berth, offlining his optics. Thundercracker smiled softly himself, and continued watching as Starscream managed once again to help a hyperactive talker to have a normal conversation. He seemed to naturally know what to do with those, just like he had done with Rumble and Frenzy when they were little more than sparklings – he had spent breems talking with them, asking questions to keep them on one topic, then introducing the fact of the other side of the conversation saying his part, then repeating the process till they could have a normal talk with other mechs.

Soundwave still did little things for their trinemate that screamed gratitude.

TC fought the urge to grin in pride, then offlined his optics, following Skywarp's example and allowing Starscream's soft, scratchy vocalizer to lull him into recharge.


"Hey, Sunny, thanks for telling me to watch over the seekers for you. I really liked them, at least Starscream, the others were kinda quiet. Anyway he's really smart, and he likes classical music, the piano and the violin the most. We talked about music and art and books and he knows a lot about everything. Like he told me what an 'opus' is – it means the same things as a composition! Did you know that, cause I really didn't and he used a lot of words I didn't really get, but he said it's okay not to know everything, cause that just means we have an opportunity to learn something new, and I really think he and Perceptor and Wheeljack would be the best of friends if they ignored the factions, but I'm not sure that's possible, what with the war and all." A shrug. "Have you seen Jazz? Starscream recommended some classical music for me to listen to, because I said I don't really like it 'cause it makes me fall into recharge, but he knew some titles that he says are really lively and I should like them, and that's why I want to find Jazz. I'm sure he has those songs or at least will know where to find them, and nevermind, there's Prowl, I'm sure he'll know where to find him, so thanks again, bye!"

Sunstreaker blinked, watching the other mech walk off. ...wait, what?


They waited patienly for Sunstreaker to once again be assigned guard duty, their plan sitting in wait for the perfect opportunity. And it came sooner than they had expected, in the form of a yellow brat with an arrogant expression glaring at them from the other side of the bars, probably thinking they were cowed now after his 'amazing plan'.

Thundercracker stifled the urge to sneer mockingly at him. Jokes on you, Sunny-boy.

He looked over to Skywarp, noticing his devilish smirk, and answered in kind. If the yellow Autodope thought sending that shorty before was a good way for revenge, he really didn't know their wingmate at all. There was a reason he had droven all his Academy instructors insane.

One reason was that his processor is the fastest in the 'verse. The other was that his vocalizer could keep up.

"So, Sunny, how's life treating you? Bluestreak mentioned you couldn't get the smell of manure off you, but I don't smell anything so I'm guessing you finally found a solvent strong enough. That's good. Don't you think it's fascinating how durable some matters on this planet are? Last week I found this mineral in a valley near here, and it had the most amazing properties. It had the highest amount of aragonite and molybdate on this planet, it was really odd, almost unearthian. Then again these humans don't have the proper lifespan to study and describe all the different phenomena, both natural and artificial. The amount of data they find redundant is shocking. I myself prefer to discover everything fully and by myself, I don't really trust some of the scientific theories to be truthful just because someone recognizable wrote them. Like the theory of the white hole, do you know about it? It's said to be a phenomenon before the creation of a star, like the reverse of a black hole which appears after a sun dies. The difference, amongs other things, is that it pushes everything, except light, away from the place it's situated in and eventually binding the plasma into Bok globules, which form a molecular cloud, which creates a star after it collapses. I find this process fascinating really, that the death of one thing creates something as powerful as a luminary. And did you know they have different colours? There are blue suns, green suns, white suns, I once even saw a heterocolorare dwarf. It was this mix of purple and pink, and the colours constantly swam against each other. It was fully stable if small, but it was amazingly powerful, almost as if its uniqueness gave it extra energy. Or maybe the flowing colours acted like a natural engine, feeding the dwarf energy to burn long past the age of other dwarves. That could be it, there is this theory, humans call it perpetum mobile, that could support that. The theory says that there is a phenomenon found in nature that once pushed into motion stays in motion, creating an unending stream of energy to keep itself. But the humans think it relates only to machines, which is a stupid thing, because machines need fuel to work, so it's rather obvious a perpetum mobile is impossible to built, but if they looked hard enough they'd find it in nature and prove that theory. You know it's really funny how many aspects of science we tend to share with the humans, but they never understand it like we do, or think something's impossible to exist or is completely fictional. Then again, if they saw as much as we do, their fleshie brains would explode. Do you know that they use less that ten percent of their brain capability? And they seem content with that, not even trying to better themselves. I think that if they put their energy into it, they could find the things they believe to be hoaxes, like telekinesis or telepathy are possible for everyone, but I don't think they'll manage. Like I said before, their lifes are too short to actually do some of the things they are evolutionary able to do, because they don't have the time neccessary for training their brains out of their fleshie cages they put them in, but-"

It was amazing how wide the yellow idiot's optics could go. TC smirked evily, then glanced at Starscream, watching as his mouth continued to move. A quick look at Skywarp confirmed his suspision the black and purple mech was trying hard not to laugh.

After spending as many stellarcycles with the genius bot one learned when it was time to turn one's audials off. He wondered if the Lambo Twit would come to the same notion any time soon.

Judging by his expression, he doubted it.


Another from Katsuko's AU. It's kinda a series now, ain't it?