Alright, that was strange of me.. Anywho, to everyone who reviewed and favorited the story thanks so much! The reviews were all incredibly sweet :) And although alerts and hits and favorites DO make me giddy and giggle like a school girl, I would really, really love to hear more from you guys!
To those who I responded to their reviews, I told youuuu there would be an update sooner than you thought ;D
Chapter song: Stab My Back by All American Rejects. Start it right when Jacob and Bella are on their way to the kitchen, kay? Great!
"Jacob," scowled Emily.
I could only stand there, my fingernails digging into the wooden door. Jacob stood there, shirtless, his black eyes tired and sorrowful. They stayed firmly on my face and surprisingly, crying wasn't the first thing I wanted to do.
I had to hold back my hand, the urge to slap him square across the face frighteningly strong.
"What in the world are you doing here? What kind of nerve-"
"Em." he said loud and firm, his eyes finally looking to her. His response an obvious signal to get her to stop. His eyes were determined and a bit wild now that they were on a face other than mine. I could tell the two had been through this before, the confrontation, Emily's vocalization of her disappointment, Jacob having to sit there and take it because he knew she was right.
I didn't feel the least bit sorry for him. I was just numb, yet a little part of me wanted to jump for joy that after seeing him, my predicted reaction was just the opposite of what was happening. I really didn't care to mend fences just so I could have my old Jacob back, I didn't care one bit.
"Well," she huffed. "I hope whatever it is you came here to say is quick. And try not to put your foot in your mouth more than you already have Jacob Black." she came over to hug me one last time, thanked me, and with that shoved her way past him.
"Emily," he tried, not turning around, his eyes closed and his shoulders slack.
But her reply was simply the sound of her car door slamming shut, and the wheels scraping across the gravely driveway and down the street.
We stood there awkwardly for couple more seconds. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet, not even able to start off with a "hey." Way to go Mr. Black, he was definitely doing a great job so far at showing me how sorry he was. Convinced, I was.
"Won't you come in?" I asked sarcastically, realizing he was going to stand there like a schmuck all day if someone didn't say something.
He laughed nervously but when he saw my face was as still as a statue he bashfully looked at the floor and walked inside with an almost inaudible "thanks."
I walked into the living room where I had just been with Emily, expecting for him to follow me, and sat down with my arms crossed and a face that no one would want to mess with.
"Is there a reason you're anywhere near a 100 foot radius of my house?" I said icily.
He sighed and stuffed his face into his hands as though he just didn't know what to do with himself.
"...3, 4, 5, 6..." I counted.
"What are you doing?" he looked up, confused.
"Counting how many seconds of my time you've wasted since you sat down on my couch. If I get to ten, you'll be sorry."
"Bells, damn, don't be like that." he pleaded, annoyance somewhat obvious in his tone.
"Like what? A scathing bitch? You can go fly a kite if you don't like the way I talk to you after the shit you've pulled." I spat.
"No, I won't. I'm here. Doesn't that mean anything?" he was getting angry and I loved it. If only I could get him to feel everything else he had made me feel, though.
"You're so bold and courageous. That means shit to me, Jacob! Who said I ever wanted to see your face again?" I said, now on my feet. I walked to the kitchen and could hear his loud, ominous footsteps behind me.
"And would it kill you to put a shirt on?!"
Suddenly, a big smirk lit up his face. "Does my being half naked bother you?"
"That's it. Get out." I pointed to the door. How dare he even try to joke with me. He hadn't even uttered an "I'm sorry" and he expected me to laugh with him?
He groaned and took a breath. "Bella, you have no idea how hard I'm trying not to split the rest of you heart with whatever I need to tell you. I'm walking on eggshells here because even though I have yet to tell you my apology and how I feel, I know if I don't do it lightly I'll break you again. And the fact that I've broken you at all as it is kills me. Bella it kills me." I sighed again and continued, "I might as well just tell you now," he muttered to himself.
He took my hands in his and looked me deep in the eyes. "Bella, I will never be able to express to you how so very sorry I am. Everyday I wake up and remember what I did to you and it physically hurts. It hurts me that I involved you in this mess, it hurts me that I ..ch-cheated on you. That I was scum enough to do that even if it was because I imprinted. But most of all it kills me that it was you who this all happened to. The one person I am sure deserves everything and more. But one thing that's gotten me thinking, that I won't apologize for, is taking you from the bloodsucker."
I instantly saw red. How could he?
"If it weren't for Leah, I would've continued to love you more than he ever could. And for that, I'm not sorry in the least."
I couldn't bear it. I was at a loss for words for so many things he had said. Without even realizing how badly I had wanted to I slapped him right across the face and then got about 3 inches from it with my own. I was sure all he could see was the fire in my eyes.
"Is that the best you've got for a fucking apology? Don't flatter yourself Black, my heart didn't break because of the tacky shit you did to me, it was because I lost my "bloodsucker" because of YOU. If I hadn't lost Edward I wouldn't give two shits about who you fucked. I still don't!" I spat through clenched teeth.
He was massaging the area of his face where I had slapped him and just as I thought I had told him everything I needed to, his last words rang through my head and enraged me once more.
"And if that "killed" you," I started, saying what I had to through clenched teeth once more. His hand was gone from his face now, as he looked at me. "What the hell do you think it did to me?" I slapped him once more.
I stomped off to the front door and practically ripped it from it's hinges when I swung it open. "Get out of my house."
He trudged over, wallowing. He was almost out the door when he looked up and out to the road. I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
"Get out!" I cried.
"I really am sorry, Bells." he sighed.
As soon as he was out the door I slammed it shut, knocking a picture down from the wall in the process.
I wiped the stray tears that had fallen in my anger. I was crying because of how angry I was and the comment he made about taking me from Edward but I wouldn't ever cry because of Jacob again. If I ever wanted to I would hold it in. If my heart ever throbbed because of my fallen friendship, I would fold those feelings into a tiny little square, shred it and throw away the little pieces, but if I was meant to stay far from Jacob I would try to make it hurt as little as possible.
Deep down inside I knew I was just ignoring feelings I would have to face later but that's precisely what I would do. I would deal with them some other time, I was exhausted and was going to waste the little energy I had on the work I needed to get done before bed.
With that little revelation of mine discovered and somewhat taken care of I was off to pick up the mess of the picture I had made. I carefully picked up the shards of glass strewn about the floor and took the picture from its frame.
Charlie walked in the door just before I could pick up the smaller pieces of glass and frame. He would definitely ask what was going on.
"In the kitchen dad!"
"Bella, what happened?" he asked, concerned.
"Oh nothing," I huffed, blowing at a piece of hair that had fallen in my face. "Um, there was just a bug on the picture frame and I, uh, tried and failed to swat it away."
I could tell he wasn't buying it as his eyes narrowed and he puckered his mouth. His signature "I'm very suspicious" face.
"Right," he said. "The girl who can't go near ants tried to kill a bug."
I simply nodded with an "I'm not guilty" expression and squeaked out a "mhm."
"Okayyy." he said, extending the word and turning on his heel. "I brought us a pizza! It's on the table!" he yelled from across the hall.
"Great, I'll set the table." I said, leaning on the counter and way to exhausted to put on my act tonight.
"So, how is everyone?" Charlie asked, for some reason trying to make conversation tonight.
I picked at my pizza, not looking him in the eye. "It was great, Noah's gotten huge and the place is real nice."
"That's nice," he said, not knowing just what to say but that.
"Yeah, it was. I sure do miss 'em. But that's what I've got you for," I smiled at him. He returned it with one of his sweet, crinkly-eyed smiles.
"Love ya, kiddo." he laughed as he got up from the table and mussed up my hair.
That reminded me..
I looked at the bracelet I had only been wearing for about 7 hours and already felt kind of homesick.
Tomorrow would be a long day and as much as I knew I would have to get used to my world now that it was upside down, it wouldn't be getting any easier on me.
"Bella? Bella are you listening?" Charlie said, interrupting my reverie. He was standing outside the kitchen with a dishrag in his hands looking at me like he didn't know what was going on in my head.
"Hmm?" I said. "Oh sorry, what happened?"
"There's a letter for you. It's on the table by the door." he said hesitantly.
"Cool, thanks I'll get it on my way up to my room. You need any help in there?" I called to the kitchen.
"No, no. You go unpack and get some rest."
"Alright.." I said. I didn't like not having any busywork. It kept my mind from thinking too much and it seemed as though now, it would think all it wanted. "If you're sure.." I walked off slowly.
"Who's the letter from?" I asked as I got closer and closer to the white letter.
"Huh? Oh, I've got no clue- Ow! Stupid liquid soap!-" I giggled at his frustration at the liquid soap. "I've got not clue," he said again. "It only had an address, no name, and I didn't recognize it."
For some reason my heart suddenly flew to my throat. I reached the letter, and although I didn't recognize the address either, I could recognize that handwriting anywhere.
"Oh my God.."
*Evil laugh* You see last time I didn't realize how evil I was for leaving you guys hanging but this time I'm very aware and am using this as a little experiment.
I've noticed you all need a little ..encouragement, we'll call it encouragement, when it comes to reviewing. So for this chapter reviews don't = love, they don't = smiles or wet Edward or any of that.
Reviews=Preview of chapter 12(:
Let's see how this goes...