Killer Pacifist Burning Mars Stab!!!
(A Very Silly Oneshot xD)
"Hmn…" Usagi sighed, perched on the edge of Hino Rei's bed. Aforementioned psychic girl was sat next to her, with Ami cross-legged on the floor, both Makoto and Minako sat on chairs.
"What are you thinking about, hey, Usagi? Didn't know you were capable of it, to be honest," Rei teased the Senshi, nudging her in the ribs.
"Hey! Of course I think. I do it all the time!"
"But usually about food, right?"
"Nooo, actually," Usagi frowned, sticking out her tongue and folding her arms. "I was thinking about important, saving-the-world kinda stuff!"
"Oh?" inquired Ami, leaning forwards. "Have you acquired any interesting information about our enemies?"
"Or is this something about a battle?" asked Makoto eagerly, rolling up the sleeves of her sweater. "I've been getting pre-tty bored these past few weeks – I wanna kick some serious youma butt! Y'know, to break the monotony and all."
"Yes, please tell us," Minako beamed, tilting her head slightly like an inquisitive bird. "As they say, knowledge is a man's best friend!"
"No they don't…"
"Yeah! That's totally right, Minako-chan!" exclaimed Usagi, blithely ignoring Ami's correction. "You see, this is really important, 'cause Luna was telling me that our powers were gonna begin to get stronger, and better, and good… erer…"
"Wow! That's so cool – but I don't know if anything could beat my supreme thunder."
"Tehee~" Usagi giggled, leaning back and kicking her legs out. "But, y'know, I'm a little worried…"
"Because…?" Rei ventured.
"What if we get new attacks and don't know what to call them?!"
A long pause.
"What?" the psychic girl suddenly exploded, attempting to resist the strong (ever-building) urge to backhand their gormless leader across her gormless face, maybe knock some sense into her. "You called an emergency meeting and this – this – was what you wanted to discuss with us?! You made it sound like there was actually something to be worried about! You were so panicky I almost considered hiding my grandpa in an underground bunker! You made it sound like the end of the world-"
"But Rei-chan," Usagi said sheepishly, twiddling her thumbs, "this is important! We'd look pretty stupid in a battle if we got these new powers and didn't know how to activate them!"
"Well…" Rei relented, lowering her fist, which had been travelling Usagi-wards alarmingly fast, "I guess you're right..."
"So, has Luna told you how to activate any new powers?" said Ami curiously.
"Newp! But I made a list!"
Minako blinked, confused. "A list?"
"Yeah! It's here in my bag somewhere…" Usagi muttered, rootling through said bag for said list, going so far as to stick her head into it – then she began flailing madly because some of her impractically long, blonde hair got caught in the zipper. Finally, after several minutes of searching, the girl had placed at least twenty random objects on Rei's bed (the more bizarre ones being a pickaxe, a banana peel and a few strands of hair tied together with a piece of tape which, Usagi said proudly, belonged to Tuxedo Kamen himself) and the slightly-crumpled list had been produced.
All the Senshi waited, on tenterhooks, as their leader cleared her throat, took a deep breath and began.
"Ahem! 'A List of Offensive, Defensive and Healing Power Names'," read Usagi slowly and clearly. "'Number one, Cutie Mashing Murdering Gore Bloody Crushing Way Beauty Murder Fusion. Number two, Lance Sweet Crash Crushing Beauty Flash Blasting Mashing Mash Smasher. Number three, Deadly Brain Battler Nerve True Peaceful Force Rot…"
Which each word, the assembled Senshi's mouth opened just a little wider, until they all resembled gutted fish. Really, what had Usagi done – vomited out a collection of random words and mish-mashed them all together?
By number six – "Blood Romantic Mashing" – Rei was at the end of her tether.
"Alright, Usagi!" she cried, slamming one fist into the bed, "I've had enough of this stupidity! I'll bloodily, romanticly mash you! Killer Pacifist Burning Mars Stab!"
And, with an overly-complicated flick of her hands, Usagi had been set on fire.
a.n: a tribute to this amazing website:
www . seventhsanctum . com / ?Genname=animepower
it made me giggle a whole bunch xD and the ridiculous attack names made me think of sailor moon. srsly, is 'Vibro Enchanting Caress' any weirder than Moon Tiara Action?
hope you enjoyed this random bit of sillyness xD