My beta was Matchmaker131 and she rules. Thank you so much. I do not own this story or the song that I am using which is Dean Brody's Brothers. It is a wonderful song and I recommend everybody give a listen. Read and review and let me know what you think.
The house was like a tomb.
I was hiding in my room.
As my brother made his way on down the hall.
Sam didn't want to think about what was about to happen. The house felt empty and dark. Dean had left his room and was now going down the hall. Things were about to change. Sam hated change; every time something changed lately it ended badly. He just prayed that this did not end badly because he needed Dean around. He needed his big brother; he always needed his big brother. John had called the day before and soon as Dean had got his diploma he'd checked out and decided to go help their dad in the war against evil. Things weren't good, and Sam knew that, but the thought of Dean getting killed he couldn't think of that.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
And I was trying to deny there was a war,
And that he got the call.
Sam couldn't bring himself to say goodbye. He knew if he did then that would mean that Dean might not make it back. He wouldn't risk that, however he couldn't bring himself to admit that there was a war going on that was so bad that it had stopped being time for their help. However, John had only called Dean. He didn't need Sam, he needed Dean. Sam didn't want him to go, but he watched him leave. He kept trying to think about something else and that maybe this was all a dream and Dean wasn't about to leave and go take on some the worst demons and supernatural creatures they'd ever faced. He hated that John had just demanded it too, why should it be Dean that had to go and fight.
I watched him from my window
Walking down the drive.
Then I ran down the stairway
Through the front door and I cried
Sam looked out the window as Dean walked down the driveway on his way to the Impala. He had to do something so he took off down the stairs. He went out the front door as he started crying he just needed Dean to come. He couldn't take Dean dying that would send him over for sure. However, the visions he'd only told Dean about had him dreaming about that every single night. Since John had called the week before that was all that Sam could do. Dean woke him and stayed in his bed till he was asleep. He didn't know what he was going to do without Dean there now; he hoped the nightmares wouldn't be too bad. He had to be brave he knew, but still he didn't want Dean to leave even though he had too.
You come back you hear?
And I let him see my tears
I said I'll give you my rookie of DiMaggio.
I'll do anything you want,
Clean your room, or wash your car.
I'll do anything so long as you don't go.
But he said, this is what brothers are for.
"You better come back," Sam says not caring if Dean can see his tears now. "I'll give you my favorite gun," Sam added, "I'll do anything you want," Sam said as he watched Dean.
Dean just looked at him and told him it was his job to look after him. Dean took off as Sam stood there in tears he didn't want to stay with Bobby. He wanted so desperately to go with Dean, but he watched as his now eighteen year old brother drove off. Sam let the tears pour out as he went back inside, it hurt to breathe at the moment because he'd overheard Dean and their dad about how bad it had gotten lately. Demons where not afraid to come out lately, which was bad enough, now this war that had started. It was only going to get worse and Sam knew it. His heart was already in his stomach and he knew it would end badly because something just kept eating at him. It always did lately and Dean was the only person that could reassure him that it would be okay, but Dean was gone.
Well I have my heroes,
But the one I love the most
Taught me how to hunt and swing a bat.
And I wrote him every night,
I said I miss our pillow fights,
But lately I just wonder where you're at.
Sam had heroes in books sure, but he had one that he loved more than anything. One that had taught him everything about life and hunting. Dean was that hero, he wrote a letter every night to him. He missed lot things about Dean being around and told him so in the letters. Sam wrote down all the memories that he could remember about the motels and things they had stayed in over the years. Even the crazy things like when he'd first caught Dean having sex. He didn't want to leave anything out. After all he needed to have Dean around, he needed his big brother, but he wasn't close by. The letters where the closets thing he had to Dean. It hurt to think about it, but he kept writing not wanting to give up on knowing that Dean would be back one day.
Sometimes freedom makes it hard to live.
When it takes things from you that you don't want to give.
Sam knew that Dean was fighting for a reason. It felt like he was really away at war, but it was only the war with the demons. It still felt lonely without Dean around. He loved it at Bobby's, but it only felt right with Dean there too instead of off fighting with there dad. Sam hated the fact that Dean had to fight for their freedom to live, it wasn't like a real war, this was not just fighting for freedom, but for their right to live, survive, and keep existing. He knew that Dean wouldn't come back till he knew it was done and that they had won. That was just how Dean was, he never gave in and never wanted anybody to get hurt. He might been have been raised as a soldier, but that wasn't his only job. He was a brother, and a damn good one at that. He'd do anything for his family which including fighting till they knew the at last the war was over.
I said you come back you hear?
I miss you being near.
Laugh and fish down in the maple grove
"You better come back in once piece," Sam wrote into the latest letter. He missed Dean being there at night and the fishing trips they had taken a few times. They would stay up late and just laugh and watch TV till they both fell asleep nobody ever knew how much they did together late at night. Sneaking pizza at the local diner at one in the morning on weeknights that had always been fun to do. Going into the woods and camping out with just food and water. It was the small things and some the fun things that Sam remembered as he thought back over the years he'd spent with Dean. The stories that Dean told him about hunts and demons were even missed. He would never wish this life on anybody, but he wanted his brother back.
I'll do anything you want.
There must be someone I can call,
And just maybe they would let you come back home.
But he wrote, this is what brothers are for.
Sam hoped that Dean would come home and he tried his best to plead with him to come home. However, he knew that it would be while if ever that Dean made it back. It was hell lately; things had gone so wrong on the hunt before Dean had left. That was the reason he'd left, things out his control had happened and John needed him. Sam said he'd do anything and list about twenty things in each letter that he'd do if Dean would just stop and come home. Never touch the Impala was the first one, along with a few dozen others that were similar to that. Including one that said he'd be a better brother than he'd already been. Though, he knew this had something to do with him. Dean had said he was going off to protect him so Sam knew this was just because of him. Which was not true it was for all the innocent people that were out there too? He hated that Dean wasn't selfish sometimes. He'd even called him on it so many times, but Dean wasn't giving in.
I may never have to face the anger of those guns,
Or lie cold and wounded in my blood,
Or know the sacrifice and what it must have cost
For him to love me that much.
Sam knew that he'd never see the real hunt. Dean always sheltered him from the hunts like he'd gone on. Sam would never know the feeling of lying in his blood, or being wounded to the point of not being able to move. He didn't understand why Dean had to sacrifice so much. He would never understand the what it cost for Dean to love him so much. Sam never had to hunt because Dean had made sure of that. Every time John wanted Sam to learn Dean had been the one he'd told to teach him. Dean told him the basic stuff, but never the higher things. He wanted Sam to stay innocent.
Well, it had been two years,
And I held back my tears
When I saw him in that wheel chair on the shore.
It had been two years since Dean had taken off he'd called and written when ever he'd had the chance. But when Sam finally saw him again, he couldn't believe what he saw. Bobby had told him some things would never be the same. Sam didn't care though, he was still his brother, it would take while for Dean to get back on his feet if ever, but Sam would help him. That was his job now; after all John was gone it was just the two of them with Bobby. Dean didn't say it straight out, but Sam knew that he was hurting. He didn't know the whole story, but he knew that Dean had fallen from a second floor window trying to kill a demon. It threw him around before he finally hit the ground. He'd broken his leg in two places. It would take months of therapy before he was back to normal and Sam knew he'd hate it.
And as I ran and held him tight,
That's when he looked me in the eye
And said I'm sorry that you have to push me home.
And I said hey, this is what brothers are for.
Sam couldn't help, but run to him and hug him tightly, it had been way too long since they had seen each other. Except for the wheel chair not much had changed besides the few extra scars on Dean's face. He knew just by looking into Dean's eyes that he hated being in the chair.
"I'm sorry about this Sammy," he said.
"I don't mind, this is what brothers are for," Sam said before he pushed Dean away from the dock, "You're home that is all that matters," Sam added before he reached Bobby's waiting truck.
"I'm going to take care of you, you took care of me, not it's your turn," Sam added as they reached Bobby's house few minutes later.
"Thanks," Dean said even though he didn't want to be taken care of still thinking it was his job to be the big brother, always the big brother. However, he would let Sam take care of him because it was true that was what being brothers was all about.