This is a parody/crack fic that ends in Makoto/Tarou. This is based off an episode of Friends where Pheobe has the exact same dilemma XD It came to me when I was watching friends while talking to my Makoto/Tarou obsessed friend and thus this was born. Some direct quotes are taken but meh, its crack so whatever XD



"Tarou, shouldn't you be at work?" Miyako asked as she sipped her cup of tea.

"Well I would, but I've decided that I'm sick and can't go into work today." Tarou said as he grabbed some rice with his chopsticks and began chewing slowly.

"Of course because you look as though you might keel over at any second." Miyako said in monotone voice which still clearly showed her annoyance. "Why don't you want to go to work? It's not exactly like you can afford to miss a day."

"I know, I know but it's just well..."

"My God, just spit it out." Miyako said sipping more of her tea.

"Well there's this... guy." Tarou blushed a dark scarlet and his ear practically began to glow. "He's well he's extremely... attractive and every time I have to... touch him it makes me want to do things I'm not really allowed to charge for."

"Then do them for free." Masayuki said as he leaned back in his chair from behind Tarou.


"I'm sad that you would spill all your dirty little secrets to Miyako and not to me, Tarou. It makes me feel unwanted." Tarou bowed his head and clenched his teeth together. He tried to think of a time in his life when he had been more embarrassed and drew an absolute blank.

"Hello Masayuki, where's your boyfriend?" Miyako said concentrating on pouring herself more tea.

"Ehehe, you know you really should stop calling him that," Masayuki replied with a nervous smile. "But Hoshino is actually on his way here."

"Interesting, how did you know I was talking about Hoshino?"

"I think Tarou had a problem here," The boy said standing up and walking over to their table.

"Denying the issue at hand, I see..." Miyako said as she shrugged.

"Like I said Tarou, why not just... ask him out or do it on your massage-y table or whatever."

"I-I can't do that! I mean... I don't even know if he... likes... guys, you know. And it would be wrong to... do that sort of thing. I'm not the kind of person who sells themselves I wouldn't be able to ask him out even if he did like me back."

"I think it's a problem you need to face, Tarou. If you keep avoiding it then what'll happen if someone even better looking comes along?" Miyako said looking him in the eyes, her facial expression unchanging. "You can't avoid this forever." Tarou smiled slightly.

"I guess you're right, though I doubt there will ever be anyone better looking then him..."

"I like my plan better." Masayuki said happily and Miyako swiftly elbowed him in the arm, a slight look of annoyance on her face.

"I guess you're right Miyako. It's only once a week anyway, I should be able to control myself in this kind of situation." Tarou said sadly. "I'm still going to take this day, just to collect myself a bit but... I'll go into work tomorrow, I swear!" Miyako smiled and nodded and Masayuki just seemed to look bored with the situation.

"Hey what are we talking about?" Hoshino asked as he entered.

"Having sex on a massage table."



Tarou sighed as he placed his hand on the door knob.

It's only an hour, I can do this. It's only an hour, it's only an hour.

Tarou finally found the strength to open and door and come in only to blush instantaneously at the nearly naked figure lying on the table.

"W-welcome back Makoto, I'm sorry I wasn't here last week for your appointment. U-um... shall we get started?" Tarou said as he walked over to the table fisting and unfisting his hands.

"Sure," Makoto answered almost lazily and for a second Tarou wondered if he had woken him up from a nap. Tarou rubbed his hands together with the oil and flinched a bit when his hands actually touched the flesh of the boy before him. He clenched his eyes firmly shut and began to rub the pale skin.

50 minutes had passed and Tarou was watching the clock eagerly. He didn't know how much more he could take. It wasnt like him at all to feel this much... desire for someone but it was hard for him to be... in a job like this and not have his hands wander to dirty places. Tarou blushed deeply as he stood at the head of the table, massaging Makoto's upper back. He hadn't said anything throughout the entire session. He hated being the only one in this predicament, he knew that his client probably felt nothing for him what-so-ever. He was sure that he even fell asleep and didn't even feel his restrained passion through his fingertips. Tarou didn't know whether to feel relief or anger.

"You uhh..." Tarou's eyes went wide as he continued to apply pressure to Makoto's neck. "You have very nice feet." Tarou looked down at the said area. He couldn't believe it, his feet, rubbing up against each other, almost pointed and perfectly trimmed. "He was unconsciously flirting with him, with he feet! He immediately set both feet firmly on the ground to his feet from being anymore suggestive then they already were.

"Oh, uh... thank you very much."

"Yea... no problem. Um, listen do you think that maybe you could umm... massage the uh... lower area. It's been giving me a lot of trouble... lately." Tarou looked over to see, while he couldn't see the man's face, his ears were glowing a bright red from the whole awkwardness of the situation Tarou almost laughed until he realized what he meant and all the blood rushed up to his face.

"Lower... area? You mean.. the... towel covered... portion?" Tarou said as he staggered over to the lower part of the table.

"Yea... is that alright?"

"U-um... of course!" Tarou said looking up at the clock. 5 minutes, just 5 minutes left. Slowly Tarou lifted the towel from the customer and immediately felt ashamed for liking what he saw.

4 minutes left.

Tarou did all he could to look away but he couldn't, with all his might he couldn't. His entire form was laying there for his eyes to feast on. He felt so dirty and warm and ashamed.

3 minutes left.

Tarou felt his knees bending and he thought they were giving out. He looked up to see the red had faded from Makoto's ears and then he slowly felt his legs give out a little more.

2 minutes left.

Tarou was counting them, the clock was so close, just an inch closer and he would be gone and out of here. His hands still wandering and making patterns on the soft skin. One more minute left just one more-!!

"OW!" Makoto cried and Tarou was slapped back into reality as he jumped up. "Did you just bite me?!" The man asked as he looked at Tarou, his face a bright shade of red. Tarou shook his head furiously.

"No, um, n! I did not... bite you! Um, well that's all for your session today. See you next week!!" Tarou said as he raced out of the room.


"You bit him?!" Miyako asked with probably more emotion then she had mustered up all week. Hoshino was staring at Tarou in absolute shock, as was Miyako while Masayuki was just rolling on the floor laughing.

"I know, I know, I couldn't help it. He was just... so there and he asked me to massage his forbidden area, I got carried away!" Tarou said blushing as he let his head rest on the table. The server brought them their food and drinks as Tarou continued to sulk.

"You just need something to keep your mind off of... getting so excited around him."

"What do you mean?" Tarou asked, slightly turning his head toward the girl.

"Like... whenever you feel yourself about to get really... turned on around him think of things like umm... baseball or... tea, or... Masayuki. That'll cool you down in two seconds flat."

"You cut me deep, Miyako." Masayuki said with a hint of hurt in his tone.

"Um, ok I guess that could work. But how on earth am I going to face him next week?" Tarou asked finally bringing his head up to face the crowd.

"Just pretend it never happened." Masayuki said plainly and Miyako and Hoshino sweat dropped.

"That may have been the most productive idea you've had yet." Tarou said with his eyes half lidded as he stared at him and he wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"You know, I've been feeling a little stressed lately myself, Tarou. I was thinking of getting a massage over at your place." Masayuki said in a contemplative voice.

"Joy beyond joys." Tarou said drearily.


Tarou looked at the clock leaving 55 minutes left to fill. He sighed as he continued to rub the back of his client.

Ok, umm... baseball, baseball. Makoto slides into second... maybe his pants rip a little...

Tarou blushed fully and felt his fingers tense a bit. He quickly lifted his hands and fisted them for a second before continuing to rub the area near his neck.

Ok, tea. We're all drinking tea by the river. Makoto comes with us, maybe his pants rip a little...

Tarou almost knocked his head on the wall but resisted the urge and looked up at the clock. Not even three minutes had passed. He sighed again and moved his hands to the mid back of the man.

Ok, Masayuki.


Oh ok, this works.

Tarou continued to massage Makoto, letting his mind wander to the idiot that was Masayuki. It came to a point where even his name kept him distracted from the pale and lanky figure.

Umm... Masayuki's ankles... Masayuki's ankle hair...

Tarou looked over at the clock only to realize that four hours had passed already. His mind went blank and this time he did bang his head against a wall.

"Tarou, are you alright?!"

"Just fine, you're finished for the day." He said with about the fakest smile he could achieve.

"Well... thank you, that was really amazing. Was it really only an hour?" Makoto said.

"Oh... yea, um... of course. In... really long hour world." Tarou said rubbing the back of his head.

"Is... there something going on, I mean after what happened last week..." Makoto's voice was intimidating that Tarou would've found soothing if he wasn't scared shitless.

"Ok... no, every thing's not ok. I... have a bit... of a... a crush on you." Makoto's eyes widened. "But don't get me wrong, what happened last week won't ever happen again because you're my client and I can't exactly do things like that with you, not like you would even want to and umm... I'm just... really, really, really sorry. I um, I have to go, I'm sorry." Tarou tried to gather his things only to find that he kept dropping everything over and over again as he began to run out of the room he felt a hand on his wrist. He slowly turned his head, his eyes huge as he saw Makoto standing up, desperately trying to keep the towel in its place, his eyes covered by his hair and his face a bright red.

"I can... I can always find... a different masseuse... if it's that big of a deal."

"Oh um, right. I didn't mean to.. chase you away."

"No, it's not like that." Makoto's voice was firm as he looked Tarou in the eye with a full blush on his face. "You're not chasing me away in the slightest." Makoto said coming closer as he moved his hand from Tarou's wrist to the said of his face as he pressed his lips against Tarou's. The shorter boy's eyes widened before the fell closed as he let his hands slide up the bare back of the boy in front of him. Tarou felt himself being pushed onto the table as Makoto climbed quickly on top of him, his hands on both sides of Tarou's head when Makoto's face suddenly blushed and looked away sheepishly.

"What.. what's wrong?" Tarou asked concerned.

"I'm suddenly very aware that I'm naked." Makoto said. Tarou blushed too but then laughed a bit before wrapping his arms around Makoto's neck and bringing him down for another kiss, or at least he tried to until the door slammed open.

"...TAROU!" Tarou felt himself shrink a little as his boss yelled his name.

"Uh, it's not what it looks like!" Tarou tried to explain.

"Tarou we have rules here, we are not that kind of place!" The woman said strictly. "Your next appointment has been waiting for two hours!"

"Ara? Tarou? Makoto?!" Masayuki said as he followed in after the woman.

"Masayuki!" Tarou and Makoto both called out at once as they finally seemed to be able to move and scrambled off each other.

"You know him?!" Tarou asked completely shocked.

"Of course, he's been a nuisance since high school." Makoto said through his teeth.

"So this is who you were talking about Makoto, I never would've guessed that it was innocent little Tarou that you had your eye on." They both blushed a deep red until the boss began to tap her foot impatiently.

"Tarou, I don't care what the situation is but I need to talk to you for a second."

"Yes ma'am." Tarou followed the woman out of the room and Makoto let out a sigh.

"You really screwed that one up, ne?"

"Oh shut up."


Miyako made her way to the door as she heard the soft knocks above the rain.

"Coming." Miyako said just loud enough for the visitor to hear. She opened the door quickly to see a soaking wet Tarou on the other side.

"I'm a whore."


"Can I come in?" He asked quietly and Miyako nodded. Once he was fully inside and his shoes were off Miyako turned to him with a confused expression.

"Wait... what?" Miyako said leading him inside and grabbing him a towel.

"So I went to my appointment and well... Makoto and I really hit it off and he even kissed me... but then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore." Tarou said putting his face in his hands.

"Oh God, Tarou... I'm so sorry."

"Why?" Tarou asked through his hands. "I have a date with him next Friday." He said as he smiled at her.