The Anti-Twilight Association
aka "I Hate Twilight"
Written by a gang of Twilight Haters who managed to get their hands on VampiricTraitor's account.
- Sorry, whoever VampiricTraitor is. We have just ruined your reputation. He, He, He.
Peoples. Take your nose out of that Stinking Twilight book!
The Anit-Twilight Association is now going to wake you up from your pointless Twilight dream.
Today, we will start with...quotes from real people.
Ready? Lets go.
Part 1: Quotes
Stephen King, bestselling novelist and pop-culture writer. What could the man who is best known for stunning literary masterpieces like Pet Cemetary and Cujo possibly have to say about the new gothic mistress?
While both Rowling and Meyer are speaking directly to young people, The real difference is that JK Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.
A sign that young people are getting desperate: quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.
And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.
A professor of World Development has his own say:
The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old - and he'll never come. '
A Woman fighting for the Woman's rights of girls in countries such as Africa, India, Iraq and so on:
Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
Children Rights' Manager:
Isn't it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn't question her? Real parents aren't that way.
Facebook user complaint:
Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
Twilight Cover Designer:
If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was a vampire" on the back cover.
The Anti Sexual Cooperation:
It's just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.
Another Facebook User:
Vampires vs. werewolves (isn't that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)
This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.
Another Greenworld Worker:
Vegetarians? Wow, James, Laurent and Victoria are vegetarians - at least they don't eat animals...
New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward
Ginny & Ron Weasley
Harry Potter could beat Edward any day with his magic powers.
World Health Cooperation:
A hundred years difference = pedophilia. Why has no one realized this yet?
Another World Health Coopeartion:
Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme?
Another Anti-Sexual Cooperation:
There's something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.
A Normal But Divorced Man
You want to keep Twilight away from your wives and daughters, dudes. Or else they will start expecting you to be handsome and sparkling vampires any day now.
Oxford English Professor:
It's teeming with grammatical errors, and fan girls are just too obessed to notice it.
Harvard Biology Professor:
Straight men sparkle?
Cambridge Language Professor:
Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
Sarcastic Person, referring to the two quotes above:
Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
Famous Baseball Player:
Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
Comedian Charles Chaplin:
It's too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?
World Renowned Physiologist:
The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
Bella is a perfect character ("Mary Sue"), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy. And being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
So that's what people are saying about Twilight all over the world.
We appreaciate fire; we are actually ready for it, since we know that you are a Twilight fan.
Go on. Bring your nasty comments to us!!!