ONE PIECE: The Looney Pirates

By Technomaru

Chapter 1: The rabbit who wants to be pirate king!

Note: I do not One Piece, nor Looney Tunes! Oda and WB owns those properties!

This fanfic combines both elements of One Piece and characters of Looney Tunes cartoons... enjoy!



September 17, 2006. It's the day the infamous Televison Pirate King Captain Michigan J. Frog is being executed... his last words for the public were:

"Hello, my baby Hello, my honey Hello, my ragtime gal! All of my treasure is in ONE PIECE! Try to find it if you can!"

After hearing that strange song, hundred of Pirates search for this treasure and adventure as well...


A barrel is seen floating in the sea and snoring sounds are coming out it. The barrel ends up in a luxorious cruise ship and grabbed by a worker who thinks it's a barrel of liquor. The party was going well and had one uninvited guest, a blonde haired orange furred rabbit named Lola who was looking for treasure on the boat.

But the ship got more uninvited guests... THE SAM PIRATES! The Sam Pirates were headed by one of the most fearsome pirates in all of East Blue, Yosemite Sam aka "Seagoin' Sam" and "Sam the Pirate". Their Jolly Roger resembles the very image seen on the mudflap of a truck, a image of Sam with two guns and the words "BACK OFF" next to him.

Sam then tells his men, "Ok you land-lubbin' scurvy sea-dogs, you bring me all them pretty goldies and you two bring cabin boy Speedy with ya to get that thar hootch ya hear!"

And with that, Cottontail Smith and Nasty Canasta bring Speedy Gonzales, "the fastest mouse in all of Mexico" and cabin boy of the "Sam Pirates" to where they keep the liquor at. Speedy tells the three in hus usual Mexican accent, "If you promise not to put me in a cage with a cat for your amusement again, I'd lead you to the most heaviest barrel senors!" The two agree and laugh as they remember what they do to Speedy in their sparetime.

As Speedy finds the heaviest barrel, Cottontail Smith and Nasty Canasta are picking up the barrel and proceed to take it to the ship and end up putting it in their room so they can have it to themselves. Before they could open it, the three pirates are shocked to see the barrel open and they see a rabbit in a straw hat yawning. He chews on a carrot he got from the barrel and looking at the two tough looking guys he asks, "Eh... What's up doc?"

While Cottontail Smith and Nasty Canasta just pull out their guns, Speedy just covers his eyes. The rabbit puts his two fingers in their gun barrels and the guns just explode in their faces. Speedy opens his eyes and he sees the rabbit is ok... but the two villians are blackened in the face. Cottontail Smith just asks the rabbit, "Just what are ya varmit?" The rabbit just grins and says, "My name is Bugs D. Bunny! and you guys shouldn't be playing with them guns, you can shoot your eye out!"

The two villians just run out of the room while Bugs climbs out of the barrel. Bugs then looks at Speedy and says, 'Eh uh "shorty", why ain't cha with ya friends?" Speedy then says to Bugs, "Oh no me amigo, they are not my friends... I was kidnapped by Captain Sam and made to be his crew's cabin boy, I think I should stick with you since you scared off his men. Bugs then offers Speedy one of his carrots and says, "Have some of this short stuff while I figures out where am I."

Meanwhile, Sam is furious. Sam then shouts at his men, "WHAT'S THIS! FIRST I FINDS A NOTE TELLING ME THAT ALL THE PRECIOUS TRASURES ARE GONE AND THENS I FINDS OUT WE HAVE A STOWAWAY IN THIS HERE SHIP! I'M SO MAD! Hey Taz... I wants ya to eat this dynamite for my amusement! Then a Tasmanian Devil named "Taz" then shows up and swallows a lit dynamite stick only to blow up inside him as Sam laughs at that.

Sam then tells his men, "Listen here men... I hears there is a stowaway, it might be that infamous pirate hunter "Sylvester the Slasher" so everyone pulls out ya boomsticks and ya pointy blades cuz we're here on a hunt for that no good varmit!" Cottontail Smith and Nasty Canasta show up and Cottontail Smith tells Sam, "Captain! There is a stowaway here and he's a rabbit!" Nasty Canasta then adds, "Yeah and Speedy got him!" Then Bugs appears dressed as a stereotypical Pirate with Speedy and says, 'Yeah Captain Sam, Speedy got him now let's throw a party!"

Sam looks at the "pirate" and asks, "Ok ya scurvy dog, what's ya name?" Bugs then says, "Umm Long John Stupid... we met back in Al-bu-koi-kee (Albuquerque)" Sam then thinks for a bit and slashes Bugs' disguise and says, "There is no Al-bu-koi-kee in that thar East Blue! You're trying to bamboozle me, I aughta..."

Bugs than asks Speedy, "Hey "short stuff' who's da itty bitty baby man?" Sam's jaw drops as well as everyone in his crew, except for Taz who just chuckles. Sam turned red in the face literally and shouts:

LISTEN HERE YOU LONG EARED SON OF A KANGAROO! I'M SAM THE PIRATE! THE MOST FRIGHTENING PIRATE IN ALL OF EAST...NORTH... SOUTH... AAAAANNND WEST BLUE AND I AUGHTA..." Then Bugs' balloon was inflated and Bugs says to Speedy, "Hey Speedy I was right, if I placed this balloon near his mouth it would inflate with all that hot air!"

Sam looks at Speedy and says, "You traitor... I'm a gonna make you two sea king food for going against ol' Sam... GET THEM!"

Then Sam's men go after the two and then Bugs makes a big grin as walks back from the crew and then he stretches his arm and he delivers a huge punch towards Sam and Sam crashes into a wall and Taz puts a bomb in his mouth and as the bomb explodes, Taz then says, "Growl... See how you like getting bomb in mouth for amusement!"

Speedy sees Bugs in action and says, "Hey Senor, did you eat a "fruta de diablo" that made you stretch all over the place... that is very amazing!" Bugs then stretches back and says, "Naw Doc, I didn't eat no devil fruit. I'm a cartoon character, I don't need one!"

Then Bugs and Speedy see a small fleet of Marine ships nearby and decide to look for a small boat to escape Sam's ship before the Marines would show up and think they're part of Sam's crew. Then Taz shows up and says, "Growl... you two were awesome in standing up against Sam, me give you boat under one condition..." Bugs then replies, "And that is?" Taz continues, "Please take Taz with you, Taz no like Sam as much as Taz hate water!" Bugs and Speedy look at eachother...

The small boat drops to the water, Bugs is munching on a carrot as Speedy and Taz are rowing the boat, they fail to see Lola making off with Sam's treasure.

Taz then asks Bugs, 'Umm so what bring you here, you pirate?' Bugs then tips his straw hat and says, "My fine brute, the names' Bugs D. Bunny and I wants ta be King o' da pirates!" Speedy then says, "Oh my senor, You want to find the legendary treasure of Michigan J. You have to be a powerful pirate to reach such a goal... even more powerful than that slave driver Sam. Taz then adds, "And powerful crew!"

Bugs then tosses the two carrots as he says, "Well I did get a good start on a crew, Speedy since you know da ropes I'm making you my first mate. Umm Taz... what was that you did back on Sam's ship?" Taz then says, "Umm me ate destructive stuff for Sam's amusement." Bugs thinks long and hard and then thinks, "I know doc, hows about you become my helmsman and shipwright... the minute we get a ship. Taz thinks and says to Bugs, "Better than eating stuff that go boom!"

Bugs then says, "Hey crew I over heard Sam, I think I should find this "Sylvester the Slasher" and have him join my crew!" Taz panics at what Bugs just said and Speedy then says, "Oh no amigo, don't do that, he's a killer, a PIRATE killer!" Bugs then says, "Call me crazy but it's worth a try! The faster we get a crew, the faster we find the treasure of Michigan J.!

Speedy then says, "Well ok Captain, I know the way to where he is at, I just hope you know what you're doing!"

And so the two row the boat as Bugs plans a way to get Pirate Hunter "Sylvester the Slasher" to join his crew.