I don't own Final Fantasy or anything to do with it...blah blah blah...This was written for Speedy Speck...yeah yeah yeah...Okay, you can read now. Enjoy!


Ah...The office. Quite a lovely, tidy place. Makes you feel all weak at the knees whenever your inside...Well, okay, maybe not, but, you know. Today Reno was in a particularily happy mood. He'd just been given-or rather, he'd just weasled his way into-one of the greatest, yet most simplest missions (Reno's favourite) ever created. Even if it was Elena's to begin with.

Heh, bribing the blonde with poker chips works every time...

"Now, to find the damned-oops, I mean, wonderful place." Reno muttered to himself as he began to type his query up on the computer.

Naturally, the one time the redhead was actually using his brain for good purposes, he was interrupted. This time by a familiar, high pitched call. Or what he called 'Mating Call'. "Reno!"

"That's my name! Wait, no. I changed it to Larry." Reno replied, grinning.

Elena rushed over to his desk, a look of surprise blatantly showing on her face. "Since when do you do your work?"

"Since I liked the mission." He retorted.

Elena leaned over the desk to peer at the computer screen. "Hmph. For once, it's not online poker. I'm proud, Reno."

Reno sneered. "Don't let your addiction rub off on me, 'Laney."

Elena blushed, and ignoring his comment, asked, "Can you help me out for a second? I've been doing my little sister's maths homework-not my best subject, and no, don't ask why I'm doing it. Anyway, I came to this question, and...I'm a little stuck."

Reno's aquamarine eyes widened in mock horror. "Elena asking me for help!? I'm speechless! Well, not really. I'm not that surprised. So, why didn't you ask the computer?"

"Internet isn't connected." Elena replied awkwardly.

"Why-" Reno began.

Elena eyed him sternly. "As I was saying...Can you tell me what an inequality is?"

Reno's eyes lit up playfully. "I can."

"Go on." There was a hint of annoyance behind those deep brown eyes.

"I said I can, I didn't say I would." Reno stuck his tongue out at the blonde, who was becoming more irritated by the second.

Elena sighed. "Reno, are you gonna help me or not?"


"Reno." She said between gritted teeth.


"Ugh! Reno, just answer the flipping question and I'll leave you alone!"

"What question?"

Taking a deep breath, Elena replied, "What is an inequality?"

Reno smirked. "An inequality is something inside of you that makes you special."

In a furious rage, Elena stormed out of Reno's office, yelling back to him. "I knew I shouldn't have asked you, 'The Asshole'!"

Reno was quick to retort. "But ya did, 'The Stupid'."

The door slammed, and Reno smirked.


"161 Whalevark Street...What a dumb name." Reno mumbled, gazing out his car window at the passing buildings. It was some miracle that he never hit anything in his path. "Fishin' Friends? I don't think so. El La Ballet? I don't speak Alien. Gaming Retards!? Hell yeah, that's my kinda shop!"

His vision was blurred by a haze of joyful tears. It was like a dream. The love of his life, right there before his very own, corrupted eyes.

"Oh my God. We're here, Benny!"

Reno's spotted pet rat came out of its hiding place in the car's dashboard and squeaked gleefully in reply.

"Yes, Benny." Reno whispered, in a trance now. "Heaven."


Somehow, Reno knew Heaven didn't sound like that. Now back in reality, he swerved past an incoming truck and straight-or, rather, wonkily, into a parking spot.

"Today is just my day!" Reno laughed.

Letting Benny scuttle up onto his shoulder, Reno rushed out of his car, slammed the door, and litterally ran towards his dream shop.

Of course, forgetting to lock his car.

Just as he was about to reach his sanctuary, he was halted by a little unfortunate event. His EMR that happened to be dangling from his waist accidentally whacked a young girl of about 6 in the delicate little face. He was rewarded with a cry of pain and then a fierce punch in the face.

Reno looked up and saw a young man, possibly a little older than himself. His features were light, making him look innocent, yet behind the deep blue eyes that surveyed him, he could sense determination, strength, and loss.

Despite all he saw, Reno still had the urge to punch him back. "What the hell was that for!?"

"How dare you hurt my daughter, you punk!" The man's voice was soft, almost weak, but it was trying to sound strong.

Reno turned towards the little girl, who was now in her mother's loving arms, taking a peek through soft blue eyes at the man who had hit her.

He may have apologized, if he weren't a Turk. But, being one, he had to uphold his dignity. "Look after her better, and maybe that won't happen again."

The man's face looked horrified at the redhead's response. "Monster! Stay away from us!"

The family of three ran down the street, the young girl leaving behind a tiny, petite daisy. Reno looked at it curiously before picking it up and gently placing it in Benny's collar.

"Let's go then, hey?" Reno murmured to the rat.

Walking into the florist, Reno couldn't help but stare longingly at the endless masses of beautiful flowers and bouquets.

Roses, daffodils, daisies, frangipanis, geraniums...What don't these guys have!? Reno thought in admiration.

"Hello. Can I help you?" The florist-an innocent looking girl of about 18-said in greeting.

Reno whistled. She's a pretty one. Sky blue eyes, long blonde hair, perfect skin, beautiful dress...Hope I'm not drooling over those high heels of hers.

"Uh, yeah...I-" Reno stopped as a not-so-hot looking woman lightly pushed in front of the girl, an intimidating look on her chubby features.

Her mama aint so cute. Reno realised grimly.

"We don't serve child abusers." The chubby woman announced sternly.

Reno wasn't sure if he should mess with this angry woman, but he let his instinct lead him on. "I aint no child abuser. I'm Reno of the Turks."

"I don't care if you're Bobby of the Nerds, you aren't getting any flowers from this florist." Came the woman's sharp retort.

"That's stuffed up! Your a florist, you sell flowers! To anyone and everyone! Your the only damn florist in the whole damn Midgar so ya'd better get ya act together bitch!" Reno's rage was building up faster than a flood in the spring.

The 18 year old girl gasped and blocked her ears, before running out of the florist crying "Save me! Save me from the devil's curses he speaks!"

Reno raised an eyebrow. Maybe she aint so good after all...

The older woman was somehow managing to appear at least 10 times taller than she once did. It was almost frightening, seeing those fat arm muscles on her hips. She looked just about ready to explode.

"Get. Out. Now." The woman murmured, so quietly Reno wasn't even sure he heard them.

He didn't need to. Sprinting out of the florist like a frightened child, Reno headed for his car, until he realised, it wasn't there.

He wasn't sure if he should faint, yell, or panic. In the end, he chose the latter, and began to run down the street to safety. Not a good look for a Turk.

"Bobby save me!!!" Reno cried, reaching over to his shoulder to pick up his pet rat, only to realise it was no longer there.

"Noooooooo!!!!!! Bobby.........!!!!!" Reno fell to his knees and sobbed, not realising where he was until he opened his eyes.

Aerith's church.

Reno's smug grin formed back on his face as he realised how perfect, yet dangerous, the situation was.

Let's just hope the others don't recognize the flowers...

Reno casually walked through the front doors of Aerith's church, only to find two children, a boy and a girl, sitting by them, petting them gently.

Okay, this was not what I was expecting... Reno grew slightly nervous now.

The girl looked up at Reno with her bright green eyes. "Hello. What brings you here?"

"Uh, um...Your parents told me they want you home right now. It's urgent." Reno replied quickly.

The boy cocked his head to the side. "Parents? We don't have any."

"No, not your parents. Your carers. Get your hearing checked." Reno retorted.

The girl gasped. "That's not very nice, mister!"

He blushed. "No, I mean, your carers want you to come to get your hearing checked."

To Reno's surprise, the children nodded in acknowledgment.

"Yeah, they did mention something about hearing this morning..." The girl admitted, standing up and heading for the door.

The boy followed suit. "Yeah. Thanks, uh, Mr Sir..."

Reno sighed with relief as the two children left. Heading towards the flowers, totally focused on being a master of stealth, he never realised that there was someone standing right behind him the whole time.

As he bent down to pluck one of the soft, yellow flowers from the ground, he heard a voice from right behind his ear.

"Don't tell me your going to do what I think your going to do."

"Goddamnit Elena. How'd you know I was here?" Reno sighed and turned 'round to face the blonde Turk.

Elena smiled knowingly, her hands placed neatly behind her back. "As you always say, Reno. I'm a Turk. I have my ways."

Reno was a little more than irritated with the fact that he had been beaten at his own game.

Clicking his tongue sadly, he replied, "Touche, 'Lena. Touche."

Elena smiled, an amused look on her face. "Don't you think Tseng would recognize those flowers? He spent half his life around them, stalking his ex-crush Aerith."

Reno shrugged. "Yeah, was thinkin' that. So, uh. What now?"

It was Elena's turn to shrug. "You could always go back to Tseng and tell him the truth."

Reno snorted. "And what would that 'truth' you speak of be?"

"That you ran like a scared kiddie from his mummy!"

Reno went redder than the colour of his hair.

Smiling proudly, Elena took her hands from behind her back and revealed a bouquet of red roses. The fragrance it released was divine.

Reno's eyes widened in surprise. "How did-"

"Weren't you wondering why Tseng gave me the task? When it comes to flowers, you really need a woman's skill. Even if the guy is a flower obsessed maniac."

Smirking, Elena pressed the roses into the stumbling Reno's arms, and along with them, a quick, 'innocent' kiss on the lips.