*Author's Note: I do not own Danny Phantom. Sadly, all I own is 'SmexyPhantom' and the abomination known as Isabella Marie-Fleur Masters.
It was a bright, sunny day in Wisconsin. The birds were chirping, the wind was blowing gently, and two ghosts were locked in an epic battle… Danny Phantom glanced quickly down to be sure Sam, Tucker, and Jazz were safe. The distraction was enough for Plasmius to blast Phantom, and send him flying. He came back, his eyes glowing green. "Plasmius, you-ow!"
The ghost boy caught a thick, pink book in his hand. "What is this?" he asked. "Teh Ghost Gurl"."
"Hm…it just fell from the sky," Plasmius said.
Gradually, both ghosts floated back to the ground, staring at the strange book. "Oh, let's read it!" Jazz exclaimed.
"Why?" Danny asked.
"Well, it did fall from the sky," Sam said. "Don't you think that's a little odd, Danny?"
"I don't know; I think we should just…leave it."
"What? Afraid of books now, Daniel?"
The halfa glared at him. "Fine. We'll read the stupid book."
"Here's how it goes," Jazz said, as the five of them sat in a circle.
Both Danny and Vlad were in their human forms, and Sam, who sat between the two, felt them glaring at each other over her head. "We'll take turns. Everyone reads a chapter," she said firmly. "Starting with…Danny."
"What?" Danny asked, catching the book as Jazz threw it at him. "Why me?"
Jazz shrugged. "Hey, who's the author, anyway?" Tucker asked.
Danny frowned. "SmexyPhantom?" he said, almost as a question.
"How…original," Sam muttered, a dumbfounded look on her face.
"All right," Danny said, "Chapter one…"
The booytiful girl named Isabella Marie-Fleur Masters gasped in hooror. Dark, scarlet blood the color of rubys driped through her slender, long, whiteish-tanned fingers. She sobbed, her big, emerald eyes flecked with lavender filed with a single, tear like a single diamond. She had totally NATURAL blonde hair with green highlites the color of emeralds. And she had curves in all teh rite places. She was sooooooooooo hawt.
Danny blinked in surprise. "The spelling in this story…"
"Natural blonde and green hair?" Sam asked. "Sounds like a hair dying experience gone horribly wrong."
"Wait a minute. Her last name is Masters?" Vlad asked, beginning to get a sinking feeling inside.
"She sounds like some demon spawn of yours," Danny muttered.
"Danny, please, keep reading," Jazz said. "I'm finding this fascinating."
Danny sighed. "This is so stupid."
That mean, evul jerky Vlade was always hitting on her! He was such a stupid jerk!!!111 an he like totally needed a breath mint and he was so evul an jerky and ew! Ew1 !
"Daniel, would you kindly hand me that book?" Vlad asked.
Danny smirked. "No, I'm actually enjoying myself right now."
"You- Isabella will lyke be my slave cuz like I'm soooo EVul!!!!11'
'Never!' she criecd. 'never, you evul Plasapus!'
At that, Danny burst out laughing. "Oh man! It's like platypus! This girl is a genius!"
Vlad looked ready to murder Danny right there. Sam sank further down in her chair.
Neway, the evul Plasapus beat her up cuz he was just that evul!!!1 an he was his only dauoter and all cuz he was a jerk. 'Danny will save me!' she declared. 'he'll kick ur ghost butt an you'll be sorry u jerk!'
Then he slapped her an sent he flying cross the room where sh sobedd life was soooooooo unfair!!!111 'but I'm ur daughter!' she cryed why're you doing this to me???'
'cuz I'm evil! Muhahaha!111 an danny phantom is gonna die n I'll role the world! Fear me!!! N then I'll make out with Danny's mom! Very passionetly!'
"Gah!" Danny yelled. "That was a very gross mental image!"
"I do not act like that!" Vlad said. "I mean, I'm not evil!"
No one said anything. "Well…I mean, from your perspective, Daniel, have I ever beat you?"
Again, no one said anything. "Some support would be nice," Vlad muttered.
"No," Danny said, "Not exactly. I mean, not...like that."
"What happens next?" Tucker asked.
"Well, it's very…interesting."
Ten, Isabella's perfect, crystal blue eyes-
"Weren't they green?" Sam asked.
"I thought they were violet," Tucker said.
Vlad snorted. "What's wrong with her eyes? Is she a disco ball, or something?"
Danny shrugged and continued reading.
Crystal blue eyes glowed brite, brite pink!!!1 Yes, they glowed hawt pink! An she said' it's over Plasmapus! I luv Danny n we're gonna live 2gether forever1
Never!!!!!' Palmius said.
N just lyke that, Isabella blasted him n flew outta teh creepy dud's mansion gonin' faster the speed o lite!!!! 'I must find Danny!' she said.
Ten she hit the grond. 'Oh, I am sooo weak frm fightin Vlade!'
Ten, out of nowhere there a sooper hawt kid. He woore a black suit with a 'd' in the middle, n he was soooo hawt. He ad white hair an glowy green eyes that glowed like raddeeashun.
"Raddeeashun?" Sam asked, looking down at the page. "Radiation, maybe?"
"I think so."
"Did she spell my name right?" Vlad asked.
"Er…no. She added an 'e' to the end. Vlade."
"Vlade? How stupid."
The millionaire crossed his arms. "I'm going to kill whoever wrote this."
And he was like sooo cute. 'who are u?' he aksed, lookin stupid at the gorgeous Isabella.
"I am Isabella Masters. My father is Plausims. He totured me n did lors o bad things, and I have ghost powers like u do!!'
Isabella smiled. Danny looked soooooo cute when he was stoopidly staring at her beauty.
"I am not stupid!" Danny protested.
"Oh, I don't know…" Vlad said.
"Plausims?" Danny reminded him.
Vlad's eyes flashed red. "Give me that book, so I can shred it."
"Oh, you're just jealous because I'm totally hot," Danny said.
"Hey, where am I in this story?" Tucker asked.
"Right here," Sam said, pointing over Danny's shoulder.
"Hey, no reading ahead!"
Sam smiled sheepishly. "Keep reading, Danny," Jazz said.
N behing him came a kid who looked lyke a techno dork. 'hey, I tucker. Ur cute.'
'hey, back off o my gurl!' Danny protested.
'guys guys, now do't fight ova me!' Isabella giggled. It was sooooo cute that they woul fight ova her cept danny was hat an all.
Ten, there ame a mean creepy darkih evul lookin slutty prude.
Danny gulped. "Slutty prude?" Jazz asked. "Isn't that a contradiction?"
"Danny, why'd you stop reading?" Sam asked.
"Uh…well, heh. There's…um…"
"Just read it already," Vlad said, looking highly amused.
Danny's eyes widened. "She'll kill me!"
"Really?" Sam asked. "It can't be that bad."
'danny! What're u don with her?'
'oh…yeah. Tis is wha…Sam. Sh's a crepe goth an creepy an dark n all.
Isabella nodded in overstanding. Danny was suh a nice guy 4 takin in tat geepy goth gulr who was just jealous of Isabella's bootyfulness.
Ten Sam stard crying. Danny ignored her. 'tat supid hussy,' he said. 'note like u Isabella.
Isabella giglld, her voice sounding soft like slik and los of bella rins she was soooo purty. 'oh, Danny, ur sooooo cute!'
Ten, she kissed him, n they made out for five minutes straite. Danny was in shock cuz the only expecirne he had was with a prude hussy Samentha. 'say…we're you stay?'
'oh I runned away I don't got nowere o go!" Isabella cryed.
"U kin stay at my hose,' Danny said slyly.
'Ok!!!!11111" Isabella repled haply.
Then. He pickered her up bridal style. 'I''ll take u to me hose where we can be alooone.'
Isabella giggled, and she gavev him a knwin wink. 'ok. Danny."
At this point, a certain ghost boy threw the book across the room. "Ugh. Gross, gross, gross. I don't even know this girl!"
"I'll show her hussy prude," Sam growled.
"Well…five minutes straight," Tucker said, chuckling nervously.
Jazz was rendered speechless. Vlad walked across the floor and lifted the book from the floor. He opened it to where Danny was reading and whistled. "Daniel, my boy…whoa. You are…busy."
Danny's eyes widened. "Wha- wha- what do you mean by that?"
Vlad grinned. "I was talking about your activities in the bed with a certain Isabella."
"She actually wrote that!"
Vlad nodded. "Don't read it!" Danny protested.
Vlad winced as his eyes traveled over the page again. "If I have to suffer through this, so do you. Besides, I'm curious to see your reaction."
Danny gulped. By the end of the passage, the sounds of vomiting could be heard coming from a certain ghost boy. Sam looked as if she were about to join him. Tucker's mouth hung open as he sat motionlessly. Jazz held a hand over her mouth in silent shock. Even Vlad looked mildly disturbed by the whole ordeal. Danny walked shakily back to the table and sat. "I've been scarred for life."
Sam slowly nodded in agreement. "I…you know," Jazz said, "We really don't have to finish this book." There were just some things you never wanted to know about your brother.
"No way!" Sam protested. "You…you haven't even showed up yet! I had to suffer those insults, suffer my boyfriend going at it with that…that harlot! I'm not going to quit reading until everyone here has suffered as much as I have!"
"Yeah, and I had to read that horrible thing aloud! We're not stopping until everyone has to read," Danny said, defiantly crossing his arms. "Jazz, you're next," he added, smiling sweetly.
"I'm going to get you back for this, Daniel James Fenton," Jazz muttered.
"Wait. The chapter isn't over yet," Vlad said, passing the book to Danny. "You have to finish. At least I read the obscene part."
After tey made luv n woke up, Danny stared at teh hawt Isabella sleeping. Her thick, black, delicate, fertile eyelashes flicked as she opened her gorgrous blue-green eyes flcked with gold an' silver. 'morning, bootyiful,' Danny whispered seducktivlee.
"Ghosty-ghost!" Danny yelled. "That's almost as bad as Inviso-bill!"
"At least she spells your name right," Vlad growled.
'Morning Isabella. Do u wanna you know…'
now not now! I no it's had to wait, but u know…I haven't any other clothes here. I oght to buy some.
'I'll help uo my bootyful Isabella,' Danny said.
'but I scard of that awful Plamoosus!'
"Something just occurred to me," Tucker interrupted. "You're her father, and she doesn't know how to spell your name?"
Vlad didn't seem to hear him; he was probably still fuming over 'Plamoosus'.
Anyhoow, Danny took Isabella shopping. He turned n2 his human half, but he was still cute with his messy hair and blue eyes an all. He smiled at Isabella, admin how she looked so skinny an almost anorexic but n a totly good way.
"How can she be that skinny and have curves in all the right places?" Sam asked.
"I have no idea," Danny replied.
She tried on all the cloths but everthing looks soooo good no her. So she jus bouth them all n walked rond the mall wif Danny. She sid. War if plamais can ate em in tue all?
"What if Plasmius came and ate them in the fall?" Danny tried.
"What if Plasmius can hate them?" Sam suggested.
"War would come if Plasmius…" Tucker shook his head.
The group soon decided there was no way of knowing what that horribly mangled sentence was supposed to say.
Ten the evul box gost cam up in yelled stoopidly an stardmakin a mess, so Isabella turnd into her ghost half. She wore a short skirt tha showed off her gorgous leg an a tank top. Shelooked so hawr! Her air turned white with likkt steaks of lavender and pink, and her eyes turned pink too! 'ur a halfa too!!!11'Danny gaped.
'Yes, now let's beat the box gost!'
Danny was soooo distract by Isabella' booty tat he was crshed by boxes, byt Isabella saved him.
"I would NEVER lose to the Box Ghost!" Danny yelled.
"It's because you were distracted by Isabella's 'booty'," Tucker said, snickering.
Danny gave Tucker a look that plainly said, 'If looks could kill, you'd be a pile of smoking ash by now'. "How much is left in that chapter?" Sam asked nervously.
Danny shrugged. "Only the author's note…er, not."
Othur's not: I hoped u all likeed my story plz review!!! I know ya'll lal wanna see wat happens! An flams will be rpld to cordinly!!!!!11111 Tanks!
The-Real-Grammatically-Correct-Author's Note: I actually got this idea from 'Canon and Fanon Don't Mix'- an Eragon fanfic, and the author got that idea from someone else and so forth. It's basically pretending to be a fanfic that Danny finds, so if you review this story, you can leave two reviews- one for the whole story and another one for 'SmexyPhantom' and her story. It could be a good or bad review, but remember if it's for 'Smexy' she'll be answering within the fanfic.