Self-Doubts

by: Terrell James

Chapter 1: Looking Back

2 weeks after the 10th Annual Big Z Surfing Contest and being in second place, Cody Maverick woke up one night and thought about what happened after arriving in Pen Gu and thinking that his dream is what he wanted it to be, but hears the voices in Shiverpool coming out of his head and they didn't leave him alone. It's like he's been haunted throughout his teenhood and while he's been in Pen Gu. He walked to the beach and took one look at his reflection and thought that the dreamer that he was, determined to live out his dream, is still haunted by his past and the voices of several doubts of other penguins that didn't take his passion of surfing seriously.

It feels as if all his life, he's been completely scarred because he became an outsider throughout his childhood in Shiverpool and also because he's fatherless through the past 17 years. As he stared at his reflection, he whispered to himself, "So far, I don't know why I came in second place and why are there so many voices stuck inside my head telling me to give up the surfing dream. I just can't seem to get it out."

He looks back on the night before the Big Z Surfing Competiton where Big Z stated, "If you don't like it, find your own way."

It feels as if he's losing his faith in surfing, but not his dreams. He let out a big sigh and went for a walk in order to try to make everything sense for him. However, as he started to walk out, a voice stopped him.

"Going walkin', kid?"

He turned around and saw that it was Big Z who walked out of his hut and saw Cody looking very troubled, yet confused. He said, "Something on your mind?"

Cody tries to hide it from him, but Z can tell that he has second thoughts about living out his dream. He sighed a bit and then said, "Sit down, kid."

Z sat down near the hut and Cody sat down too and he finally said, "I hear so many voices of other penguins in my hometown who doubts my surfing dreams and it's been haunting me for I don't know how long."

"Hey, man. You can here for a reason, and that is to live out your dream." Z said.

"I know, man, but... sometimes... I sort of feel like... I don't know who I am anymore. Here, I'm Cody, but when I'm in Shiverpool, I'm... I'm just the guy who's talking about surfing nonstop and has always been giving negativity about my dream." said Cody.

What Cody said connected to his idol's memory when he was his age, thinking that he feels not good enough, like when he give up surfing 10 years ago in hiding. Z felt extremely guilty about giving up his surfing life and looks at Cody and puts his flipper on his shoulder.

Z sighed and said, "I don't blame you, kid. Sometimes, when you want to try anything to live out your dream, you feel as if you're not good enough and afraid someone will judge you. My 10 year disappearance definitely got the best of me and sometimes every night, I regret hiding from my fans because of Tank. Mostly, I ask myself, 'Why did I give up on what I love to do all my life?' and it brutally scarred me because I wasted all my 10 years until you came in my life. You brought me out of hiding and I went back to reliving my dream again. So when I looked at my reflection, I ask myself, 'Who am I?', now I'm happy to say, 'I'm Big Z and I love to surf, just for fun.' So, I'm back on what I missed out on and it's all because of you."

"Sometimes giving up means that you're not good enough no matter what you do or what anyone thinks." said Cody.

"Yeah, I know, man. If it wasn't for you, I would've even got all my fans and my life back. So thank you."

Cody looks at Z and thinks of him as his father, the father he never had and throughout his journey in Pen Gu, he felt as if his idol was like a father figure to him and then, Cody replied, "Same here."

Z smiled at Cody and decided tio give him a hug. Cody still feels haunted by the voices of penguins in Shiverpool, which gives him a wave of doubt on himself and thinks that he's still not good enough.