Rock The Rolls
Step One:: Face The Problem

A/N: I know I should finish something... but Workplace? is about to reach it's final plotline and Little Miss Seductress only has about 3-5 more chapters in it, and that's pushing it. So this is going to be my new baby. I wanted to write something funny, but with a moral at the same time. I think this'll be a bit like a Step-by-Step Self Help Guide. Enjoy. And I'd love to know whether this is worth continuing. So, Review?

"Wide load ahead. Watch out teme!!" Someone careened into Sakura's back, causing her to lurch forward.

She got her balance back and turned around. "What the HELL!!"
"Jeez, fat-ass. If you're going to just stand there, at least stand where you're not going to block the entire corridor!" The boy with the spiky black hair, known throughout the school as the School Babe was Sasuke Uchiha. He was glaring at Sakura as he dusted himself off. "MOVE IT DOBE! He's coming!"

Sasuke and the blond boy who had warned him of the 'wide load ahead' looked behind them in alarm and then continued running; pushing a dumbfounded Sakura Haruno out of the way.

Moments later, Iruka-sensei pelted around the corner. "Ahh, Sakura. Have you seen Naruto and Sasuke anywhere?" She simply nodded and pointed in the opposite direction to which they had gone. "Thank you… when I get my hands on those two!!" and he began running, mumbling threats and curses as he went.

"Not nice, is it?" Sakura was shaken out of her stupor by the voice that had just spoken to her.
"Someone making fun of how you look."
"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked, unable to prevent her voice from becoming defensive.
The stunning blonde Aphrodite leaning against the wall straightened herself out and took a few steps in Sakura's direction; seeing the latter flinch, the former stopped and smiled. "I'm talking about that." She pointed towards Sakura's feet. There, by her Doc Martens, lay the open, spilling out packet of crisps that she had dropped when Sasuke had crashed into her. Sakura felt herself blush a shocking scarlet colour. "I- I dropped them because he crashed into me."
The blonde girl rolled her eyes. "Suuuuure you did, Wide-Forehead." Sakura clapped a hand to her head. 'Who the HELL is she?!'
"Who the hell are you?"
She smiled and held out a pale, delicate hand. "My name," she grinned, "Is Ino."
"Nice to meet you Ino… now leave."

When it was evident Ino was not going to leave, Sakura rolled her eyes and began walking in the opposite direction herself.
"Heart disease." Sakura stopped and slowly turned around to face the voice that had just spoken.
"Diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, gall bladder disease, shortness of breath, stress." Ino counted each symptom off on her fingers. "You know what they are, Wide-Forehead?"
"Quit calling me that."
"Well, do you?"
Sakura made no movement or sound, so Ino continued. "All things that you're at a higher risk of if you're overweight."
"What's your point?" Sakura growled.
"You need to lose weight."

'Whoa.' Sakura reeled. 'That was blunt.' Ino read her thoughts. "Well, you're never going to do anything about it if you don't even face the fact that it's an issue."
"That's because it's not. I'm a perfectly healthy, growing girl."
"Yeah," Ino sneered. "Growing in all directions." Sakura gasped.
"Listen, Ino-pig!! I don't even know you. QUIT BOTHERING ME!!"
Ino stared blankly at Sakura for a minute and then shrugged. "Fine." She conceded. "Have it your way."
"Thank you!" And with that Sakura turned, once again, and began to walk away.
"OY!! FATTY?!"

Sakura spun on the spot, her fierce blush returning to her as she faced the beautiful blonde girl, sneering at her from a few paces away. "You forgot your crisps." Forcing back the tears, Sakura whirled around and began speed-walking towards the girls' toilets.

'Thank God!' she sobbed silently. 'There's nobody else here.'

Sakura looked up at her face in the small mirror. The dim light of the toilets was not flattering. She knew she wasn't beautiful. Not like that Ino girl was beautiful… No. But she had always thought that maybe, just maybe, there was something beautiful about her.

Inner beauty was what mattered, right?

'Wrong!!' her brain corrected as she remembered Sasuke and Naruto's words. No. Not words. Words couldn't possibly hurt this much.

No. Sasuke and Naruto cut her. She was bleeding…

Sakura heard footsteps outside and fled into a stall. "Sakura?"

"What do you want?!"

"To talk to you. Come out." A pause. "Please?"

Sakura unlocked the stall and came out. "What?"

Ino sighed and hitched herself onto the clear bit of counter between the two sinks. Sakura couldn't help thinking that if she tried that, one of two things would happen. Either her butt would spill into both sinks either side… or the counter itself would break.

Hmm. For some reason, the idea didn't seem too appealing.

Sakura came back to her senses to see Ino smiling at her. This kind of freaked her out.

Okay, this a lot freaked her out. "Quit looking at me like that."

Ino's face turned thoughtful for a second. "You sure do like that word, don't you?"
"The word quit." She tilted her head to the side, as if deep in thought. "But you don't find it very easy to actually quit things yourself, do you?"
"Sorry, but… are you on drugs?"
She laughed and jumped down from the counter. "No." She stuck out her tongue, "I'm just pretty curious."
"What do you want to talk to me about?"
"A straight to the point type of girl. I like that." Ino grinned and poked Sakura's padded shoulder. "I want to ask you a question."
"Which is?"
"Do you like yourself?"

Sakura was stumped. 'Well, Haruno. What's the answer? Do you?'
"Really? And what is it that you want to change?"
"My weight, my face… everything."
"What about what's inside?"
"Does that really matter?"
"Guess not…"
"What happened to the strong, defiant girl I met a couple of minutes ago."
"She's just a shield. A talking one, sure. But she's still a shield."
"And what is that you want to be?"
"I want to be—beautiful."
"Really? Well then," her devilish grin returned to her, twisting her face into an even more beautiful façade, "Wide-Forehead fat-ass. Let's make you beautiful.


Sakura blinked several times. "What?"

Ino slowed down her voice, as if to speak to a small child. "I said- Let's. Make. You. Beau-"
"I heard you the first time. I'm not a moron. It's just- Well. How?"
"That's what I wonder too." Ino sighed. "Okay then, first, I need to inspect the damage. ROTATE!" It was an order and Sakura immediately obeyed.
She groaned. Sakura hesitated, "Oy! I didn't say you could stop rotating. SPIN!" Sakura spun.

"Okay. The most important thing..." She inhaled deeply, as if to make some sort of huge revelation. "What's your name?"
"I said, what's your name. I guess I could call you Wide-Forehead or Fat-Ass. But you must have something you prefer to go by?"
"Oh. You are witty." Sakura scathed. "Sakura."

"Ahh, cool. Well then, Sakura. Step one of your new life begins here." She smiled; the first friendly smile she'd given to Sakura that day. "And it begins with you-"
"Face the problem, Fatty. What are your problems?"
"I'm fat and ugly?"
"Tch. NO! That is not what you are. I call you Fatty as an endearing nickname. No. Fat is a frame of mind. You're big, sure, but big can be beautiful. And you're not ugly in the slightest. It's just that your big is kind of, well, blocking out some of your beautiful. Tell me Sakura, how is your homelife?"
"Love life?"
"Non-existent. Obviously."
Ino rolled her perfectly made up eyes. "Any excess stress or pressure?"
"Except on my joints?"
Ino rolled her eyes again. "Well then, Sakura. I know your problem."
"Pray tell." Sakura muttered sarcastically; though beneath the sarcasm- there was an undeniable amount of curiosity...
"...You're lazy."


Step Two:: Exercise To Energize

"All my problems in life... are down to me being lazy?"

"But of course. You're big because you're too lazy to exercise and you'd find it too much of a chore to try to change yourself. You're unstylish because you're too lazy to try and find something that shows you off so you hide it. You don't think you're beautiful because you're too lazy to look."

"And what about you, genius. What's your problem?"

"I'm a bitch."

A/N: Review? :) Step Two will come that much faster if you do ;)