So I now that a lot of people do not like Jacob, so I'm not sure how you guys are going to take to this story. But he is my favorite character and I haven't seen many stories dedicated completely to him, from his point of view, so I wanted to give it a shot. This starts off right after the war with the newborn vampires in Eclipse. It's my take on the what happened between Bella and Jacob, and the story will continue differently from there. So I guess you could call it an AU. Hope you like it.
"Don't do this Jacob, please don't."
I knew I sounded pathetic. My voice was low and desperate, scratchy from not being used, and the pain I was feeling, both physically and mentally. The worst part was that all I was doing was pleading for her just to turn around and talk to me, look at me. But I'd gotten used to sounding desperate and pathetic. It was like a norm for me now, if I wasn't groveling at her feet, begging her to give me a second glance, I didn't know what I'd do with myself. I didn't know when I'd been reduced to this but I really wish I'd seen the change happening; I'd have savored my last moments as a free man. Then again, I didn't really remember much of my life before Bella had walked into it, and part of me didn't really care. She was all I could see anymore, all I knew.
It must have been the fact that I was broken in more ways than one, that I somehow looked smaller, weaker, maybe more vulnerable, but after a second she did turn around. There were tears in her eyes and I could see she was trying not to cry. The more selfish part of me wished she would cry, at least then I could pretend that she was crying because she wanted to stay with me, not because she felt sorry for me.
"Jake…" Her voice was soft now, like she was the one doing the pleading and I just stared. Now that I had her attention, I didn't know what to say. I think I'd more just wanted her to stay with me than anything.
"Bells," The nickname fell easily from my lips and I tried to sit up but she quickly walked over, kneeling beside the couch and used her frail human hand to push against my chest. I gave up and let her. She was afraid I was going to hurt myself. She was probably right, but nothing could hurt me more than what I'd done to myself just by having her here. I looked at her again from where I was lying and frowned, "I love you."
Finally, one crystal tear descended down her cheek and she nodded, "I love you, too."
"Can't that be enough?" I asked her, and I hated the way my voice broke on the last word. It sounded as weak as I looked and felt.
This time Bella shook her head and avoided my eyes. I didn't want that. I wanted to see her so I reached for her face and gently turned it towards. I tried to smile when another tear fell from her eye. I took back what I'd thought earlier. I hated seeing her cry.
"I'm sorry," I said, although I didn't know what I was apologizing for. I just wanted her to stop crying, I wanted to remember her as I always knew her; Beautiful, happy, healthy Bella.
She seemed to have figured out what I was talking about, though; I wished she'd share it with me because now I was curious. "It's okay, Jake," she said as she leaned up higher on her knees and her lips met mine for the briefest of moments. Our lips molded together, warm, soft, and perfect. The lips of soul mates ripped apart by an outside force that I couldn't possibly understand, despite the burning love I felt for her.
Bella pulled away and my body felt cold, although I knew that was impossible. She hugged me then, and I couldn't believe I ruined the moment by gasping in pain. One of my ribs was setting wrong and it was painful. Carlisle would be back soon to fix it. Bella pulled back, an apologetic look on her face.
"Are you going to be okay?" she asked me softly and I nodded.
Bella nodded too, "When?"
"I don't know," I told her honestly, and this time we both knew we weren't talking physically anymore.
She got up once more, and this time I didn't try to stop her. It was harder now, but in the long run it would be easier. This was my goodbye, my final goodbye, the last time I was ever going to see her. I just had to make sure of that, I couldn't take this anymore. It was sort of what I'd imagine jumping out of a plane would be like. You were scared, you knew what the outcome would be, and even though you knew you had to, the hardest part was letting go.
"Goodbye Jake," Bella whispered as she reached the door, turning back to face me.
"Bye Bella," I replied, feeling that familiar tear in my heart widen as I watched her go. She stared at me for a second and the sting of tears gave away my grief, though I didn't let them fall. Then she was gone, and I know that it's cliché, but I'm positive my heart really did break in that moment. It hurt worse than my broken ribs, more than a thousand knives; it was the worst pain imaginable.
It was in that moment, that I didn't have to be strong for her, that I didn't have to be the dependable, sarcastic werewolf, my pack didn't need me, and my dad couldn't see me, that I could just be Jacob Black. It was in that moment that I let myself fall apart. Tears ran unhindered down my face as I tried to get up. I needed to get out of here, away from this place, where her scent still lingered, where the echoes of our conversation still haunted me.
I got two steps away from the couch before I fell to my knees and felt my ribs do something very unpleasant. I groaned in pain, squeezing my eyes shut, and wrapped my arms around myself. Looks like Carlisle had a bigger job now. I mentally apologized for giving the doctor more work to do; he'd been good to me.
I needed to leave, but I knew it was impossible right now. I practically dragged myself back to the couch, thinking of where I would go as soon as I wasn't incapacitated by my injuries. I tried to close my eyes and sleep, but the aching hole in my heart throbbed. I imagined Bella's lips on mine, thought of her voice, and the smell of her hair, and the throbbing mellowed to a small ache. It helped. I wondered if it would always be like this, if I was ever going to be happy again. I didn't think so, I missed her already. I fell asleep, dreaming about a world without vampires.
Well, would you guys like me to continue or is it horrible? Reviews are really appreciated since if the first Twilight I've ever written. Thanks in advance :)