Sugar rush

I don't own Naruto or the song 'I feel good'


"Whatcha drinkin'?"

Kabuto didn't look up from his book when he heard Naruto's voice. "Coffee."

"Doesn't that have sugar in it?"

"No. Unless you put it in there."

"Does yours?"

"No. I've never had sugar."

"Never ever?"

"Not for 19 years."

"What about candy?"

"Nope."

"Cookies?"

"No."

"Mochas?"

"What are mochas?"

"I dunno."

"Then no."

"Then, what about-"

"Let's just say I haven't had anything that has a trace of sugar in it."

"What about caffeine?"

"That doesn't count."

"Why?"

"It's different."

"How?"

"I don't know. It just is. Now leave me alone and go home."

"All right. Fine. I was just curious."


Kabuto readied his coffee the next morning and picked up his book he had been reading for the past week. Once his coffee was done, he poured some in a cup and sat at the table in his lab and continued to read as he idly sipped from his cup.


"What was that?" Sasuke asked, taking his eyes off the TV when he was sure he heard something.

"What was what?" Orochimaru asked, walking into the living room with breakfast.

"I thought I heard a crash or something."

"Where?"

"It sounded like it came from Kabuto's lab."

"Well, maybe something fell. …Or something."

"Maybe." Sasuke shrugged, looking back at the TV.

He and Orochimaru looked again though when they heard footsteps running toward them and Kabuto slid into the room, only wearing shorts and socks.

"Whoa-oa-oa!" Kabuto yelled. "I feel good!"

Orochimaru and Sasuke watched Kabuto like he was crazy.

"I knew that I would now!"

They both looked at each other.

"I feel good!" Kabuto hopped around. "I knew that I would now!"

Naruto poked his head around the corner of the living room.

"So good!" Kabuto handed Orochimaru a flower which he got from a nearby vase. "So good!"

Naruto smiled.

"I got you!" Kabuto hugged Sasuke and spun around. "Yeah!"

"Get off me, weirdo!" Sasuke snapped, shoving Kabuto off.

Kabuto gave a weird, creepy giggle and bolted back toward his lab.

Naruto laughed.

"What did you do to him?" Sasuke asked, brushing off all the Kabuto germs.

"Hmm…it's probably because of the sugar I put in his coffee."

"Well…" Orochimaru sighed. "Now we got to see what happens when a person who hasn't had anything sugary for 19 years reacts when he does have his first dose."

"Wonder what'll happen when the rush ears off." Sasuke muttered, returning to his TV program.

"He doesn't care, does he?" Naruto asked, looking at Orochimaru.

"No. Not really."


1 hour 30 minutes later…

Kabuto sat up, rubbing his head.

"Okay. Ow. Why do I have a headache? Um…." Kabuto looked around, seeing trees all around him. "Where am I?"

Apparently, Orochimaru and the others had gotten tired of Kabuto's antics while he was in sugar mode and decided to dump him in the middle of a forest after making him chase a candy bar for half an hour. After the incident, half of Orochimaru's base had to be cleaned or renovated.


Never ever give Kabuto sugar.