Adult Only Road Trip
A/N: This'll be my last CL story, but read below for more info.
This story is about the Camp Kidney Staff and Adults alike are joined together for one heck of a road trip. It's so long, it'll be 100 chapter long, and it'll be touring around the earth. I hope you enjoy this introductory.
Disclaimer: I don't Camp Lazlo, and neither does your mama.
Chapter 1: Closed Camp, Prickly Pines, and Toll Booths
This is at the point where every camper left Camp Kidney; even Lazlo because he was too old to continue being a camper. This is also the point where all of the adults are at their retirement stage, even Slinkmin, and when Commander Hoo-Hah closes Camp Kidney and Acorn Flats.
"You know, Algonquin, I'm gonna miss these camps. There's the constant whining of the camper's injuries, hours of fixing them, and not recieving even a thank you, but a return with the same injury 2 and a half seconds later...good times, eh Lumpus?" Leslie sighed happily.
"You realise that your talking to the wrong person, right?" Lumpus asked and left.
"...You know, McMuslie, I'm gonna..." Leslie started.
"I've already heard you, Leslie," McMuslie said.
"Seriously, Lumpus, this camp has broght a lot of memories. Before the recent campers showed up, camp use to really suck. They made our lives more...interesting," Leslie thought.
"He's right. Especially Lazlo, Patsy, Gretchen, Clam, and Edward," Slinkmin said.
"You mean the monkey, mongoose, alligator, rhino and platypus? You realise that those dweebs get more camera time than all of us combined? I mean, besides Slinkmin, none of us has more than twenty sayings in an event," Lumpus ranted.
"Honey, I don't know what your talking about, but you shouldn't say things like that! The campers get equal attention as ourselves...maybe not the shark and the goat and Ms. Mucus," Jane thought.
"Hey!!" Leslie and McMuslie yelled in unison.
"I don't know about that, Jane. For once in his life, Lump-head knows what he's taling about. We do all the work to make these ladies and Squirrel Scouts to shut up, but we never have the credit," Ms. Mucus complained while entered the meeting with Jane's stuff.
"Exactly. Might as well make a show for the monkey and call it Camp Lazlo!!" Lumpus suggested.
Everyone became silent after that...then laughed.
"Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen...hey! Where's Slinkmin with all my stuff?" Lumpus asked.
"Coming sir...(groans with a ton on his back)...sir, why do you bring all this stuff you never even bother to use?" Slinkmin asked in agony.
"Two reasons, Slinky. One is that I never even had a chance to use most of my possessions due to being scoutmaster. And second...you could use some heavy lifting...it's like you have no vertebrae," Lumpus said.
"Wait wha...AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Slinkmin said until he was smoshed by the ton of ton weighing bags.
"Slinkmin! Are you alright?! I need you to carry my stuff to my house," Lumpus said.
"Lumpus!! You know how injured he looks! We need to take him to Leslie's quickly!" Jane panicked.
"I'm right here, and he's alright," Leslie said just looking at the bag.
"Please help me...I'm dying...wait...was that salt bag open?! Scout Master Lumpus!! Why do you have a bag of salt! It's slowly pouring on me!! Now I really am dying!!!" Slinkmin screamed from under the bags.
"See? I told ya he's alright," Leslie smiled.
As everyone but Ms. Mucus, Lumpus and Leslie helped Slinkmin out of the bags, Hoo-Hah notice everyone still by the front gates.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! What the hell are you standing here like the bunch of assholes you are?!" Hoo-Hah screamed.
"We just want to look back through our good times, sir," Jane said still struggling to save Slinkmin.
"Plus Slinkmin is trapped with slowly spilling salt pouring on him," McMuslie said.
"What a bunck of weaklings you are!! You guys are just retired and you still can't lift this paperweight?!" Hoo-Hah said picking up the bags with one hand and threw them on Lumpus's car.
"Thanks for saving my life, sir of sirs," Slinkmin said.
"Sure whatever...now GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!" he commanded as everyone ran to their cars and left.
(Three years later)
Lumpus and Jane decide to eat in Beef Lumberjacks for an average eatery.
"Umm...Algonquin...I think you had enough of those for today," Jane said looking at the five stacks of barbecue sauce covered plates compared to her barely eaten salad.
"Nonsense. I honestly could go all day with those things. Two more please, Mr. Waiter," Lumpus smiled.
"But you already had five Meat Bombs!! Aren't you at least feeling full?" Jane asked in worriness.
"First of all, Jane, they're Mini Meat Bombers. They only grow 3 feet in length," The waiter said comparing the size to Lumpus, which is half of the moose's size.
"Exactly. And second of all, I don't feel my stomach bloating so I could as I..." Lumpus said until he heard the door opening and saw a familiar face.
"Hey Lumpus. Isn't that your slug friend back in camp?" Jane asked.
"Hang on a minute...Slinkmin? Is that you?!" Lumpus asked staring at the door.
"Algonquin. And to think I'd never see you in a place like this," Slinkmin said sarcasticly.
"Slinkmin!!! It's so great to see you after three years!! It was miserable to take my own grocieries back into my house!!" Lumpus cried as he was hugging Slinkmin anime style.
"Please stop...this is embarrassing and killing me!!" Slinkmin cried.
"So after I blew a tire on my new SUV, I went to the gas station to hand me a spare. It's taking a while for them to put the spare in...so I might well take a bite here," Slinkmin said in a 'cool' tone.
"...I have no idea what you said...but my you sound rich," Lumpus said.
"Hey?! How come I wasn't greeted like that?!" Another familiar voice said from the booth behind.
Then the look and saw Leslie taking a sip of coffee.
"Leslie!! (That nurse shark guy)!!" Everyone (Jane) said.
"And what about me? I've been slaving my butt to make those organic Meat Bombs," Yet another person yelled, but from the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, could that be the cooking master, McMuslie?!" Slinkmin asked.
"That's right. Ever since I left camp, I've introduced my 'de-fatening, but good tasting' tofu meat products to Beef Lumberjacks, I was employee of the year!" McMuslie said.
"I've tried to quit doctoring by becoming an actor in ER, but it ended as soon as I applied...so I continued being a doctor," Leslie explained.
"Bummer. Say...I don't think that this is a huge coincidence that we all meet up here," Lumpus thought up.
"He's right. I've actually summoned you all here without realising it," someone said.
"Wait a minute...Commander Hoo-Hah?! How did you...and why did you?" Slinkmin asked.
"Very funny you should ask. I told the manager here to sell Mini Meat Bombs for half-off for the piggies like Leslie and Lumpus, expected McMuslie to work here as a chef, and blew a tire from Slugman's SUV," Hoo-Hah.
"Great. A world class camp staff reunion...aren't we missing somebody?" Leslie asked.
"Why yes...she should be coming right..." Hoo-Hah started until the door open again.
"To the owner of an SUV, your tire's all fixed," she said with an only swimsuit.
"Oh my... Holy shit!! Woman!!! For the love of God, put some clothes on!!!!!" Lumpus yelled.
"That's something that I didn't, nor hoping to expect, mam!!" Hoo-Hah cried, shielding his eyes.
"Ms. Mucus...you look rather...thin," Jane lied.
(Moments of awkwardness later)
"So, Commander Hoo-Hah. Why did you send us here together," Slinkmin asked.
"Well, my future seems quite short and may soon end. I don't mind dying with honor for my country, but being a formal commander/general who only been in this dump, Germany, Korea, Veitnam, Afganastan, and Iraq is not as fun as I thought," he thought out loud.
"...I didn't know you were a formal general," McMuslie thought.
"That's because I still am. I'm only here because this genious of a country send me home...even though I made us in the lead!!" Hoo-Hah explained.
"If you made this country lead the war, why they send you out?" Ms. Mucus asked.
"How the hell should I know?! As I was saying, I wanna go out even more than my warzones. I wanna go out to relax. And since my wife and daughter went to Africa, I had no other friends to do my orders. So that where you come in," Hoo-Hah planned.
"Wait a minute...so you brought us here together for your trip, just so we do whatever you say?" Lumpus asked.
"Exactly. You might be smarter than you look," Hoo-Hah said.
"...Okay, good enough. Everyone, start packing and meet in Slinkmin's SUV in 10 minutes," Lumpus ordered.
"Lumpus...this isn't like you agreeing to take orders from anyone," Jane said.
"It's not the orders I want, silly sweetie. I, too, want to see the world before I turn into McMuslie," Lumpus explained.
"Now what the hell is that suppose to mean?" the offended McMuslie asked.
"I guess...but how are we suppose to get home, pack our stuff, and meet back here in 10 minutes?" Leslie asked.
(Ten minutes later)
"Man, that was easier than I thought," Leslie continued.
"Never underestimate the power of barrel rolling," Slinkmin said.
"First we need to make sure that everyone here and ready," Jane said.
"Fuck that!! I need to see the world before I die! If you need me, I'll be in my winnebago sleeping," Hoo-Hah said.
"It looks like everyone is here though, Hoo-Hah," Slinkmin noted.
"Then it's settle...good bye Prickly Pines...HELLO WORLD!!!!!" Lumpus yelled as the SUV finally drove.
"Wait!! Guys! You're forgetting someone!!" McMuslie yelled as he's chasing the SUV.
And so after picking up McMuslie before entering the freeway, finally, the staff member were all set for their worldly road trip, thus ending chapter one, right? WRONG!!!! There's still one more thing that needs taking care of...and that's in the Prickly Pines Toll Booth.
"Just past this toll booth and I'll...er, we'll finally feel free, right, Hoo-Hah?" Lumpus asked to the winnebago.
The response was an even louder snoring from Hoo-Hah.
"I gotta be honest with you...including dishonesty and disfigure, I really don't like toll booths," Jane confesses.
"I hate everything...especally beanscouts, men, Peta, and toll booths," Ms. Mucus said.
"Well, all of our hatred toward the toll booth will be over as soon as we cross this one...here's an open empty lane," Slinkmin said coming up to it.
"I really never noticed a toll booth here in the first place," McMuslie said.
Finally at the toll booth.
"A dollar for passage please," Another familiar voice said.
"A dollar!! What the fuck happened to 50 cents?!" Everyone yelled.
"I'm sorry, but due to the size of the SUV and number of passengers, it has to be raised...where do you get 50 cents from anyway?" he asked.
Everyone pointed to a sign that says '50 cents no matter how many people there are, stupid!'
"Look. Our road trip isn't going anywhere fast. Let's just..." Jane said before she was interupted.
"Jane? Is that you? Jane! When was the last time I've seen you?" he asked.
"Umm, Jane? Could you explain?" Lumpus asked.
"I really don't know what he's...Pothole...is that you?!" she asked.
"JANE BABY!!! I really missed you so much! I've done so much to myself since," he replied.
"I'm sorry, Mr, but she chose a handsome fellow like me instead of a pile of...HOLY SHIT YOU'RE HOT!!!!" Lumpus yelled as he saw a thin, clean, and muscled version of Pothole.
"How did a mayor like you work in a job like this?"
"Long story... I don't want to mention it. Mind if I join your road trip?" he asked.
"I rather pay a million dollars to pass this..." Lumpus said until Jane interrupted.
"Aww, come on, Lumpus. This poor mayor man has a lowly paid job while we had money to spare," she said trying to help him.
"Who put this guy in charge of us?" Leslie asked randomly.
"Like you would invite him without a heart," McMuslie objected.
"...Good point," Leslie responded.
"Come on...please? I'll give ya free fare," Pothole promised.
"Dear God, I promise that I'll regret this, but alright, we can pick you up," Lumpus said.
"We need to do this quick. There must be a load of cars behind us," Slinkmin said.
But when everyone looked behind the SUV, there was no vehicle behind them. They were in all other lanes though.
"That humor has got to stop," Ms. Mucus snorted.
"But speaking of which, what happens when...er, if there's a car coming to this lane?" Slinkmin asked.
"I doubt that there's anyone that'll come to this lane," Pothole thought.
"Why not?" McMuslie asked.
"HEY GUYS!! THAT'S THE ASS WHO TOOK MY POST FOR HIS CAMPOUT!!" A black panther yelled with the sound of a tank coming from behind him.
"He called the army guys?! I though the cops were enough!" Pothole said before jumping onto the driver's window.
"This is why I hate toll booths!!" Ms. Mucus yelled nervously
"What are you waiting for, Slinky?! Drive!!" Lumpus commanded as Slinkmin floored the SUV out of the toll booth.
The tank sound turned out to be from a toy tank.
"Thanks son. Helping me getting my post back made me proud of you," the panther smiled.
"Aww...I love you, dad," the son responded.
"Okay, son...not that proud," the panther responded.
Aww...what a happy family bonding. Anyway...now we reach the end of this chapter, answering the summary's questions...which leads to new questions. What is their first stop? Why was the past mayor of Prickly Pines camping in the toll booth? And how can someone sleep though this whole thing. Stay tune for the next Adults Only Road Trip!