I wrote ReTi this for 'The Sacred and Profane'. I don't own anything to do with Final Fantasy...Okay, you can read now.
High pitched girls voice...since when was that my alarm? Reno wondered, half asleep as he reached over to turn off his 'alarm clock'.
He was rewarded with a girlish giggle. "Whatcha doing silly Daddy?"
Reno's eyelids fluttered open to the sight of his 6 year old daughter standing next to his bed. "Mornin' sweet."
Since becoming a father, Reno had gained a surprisingly large amount of patience-Tifa wasn't the only one proud of him for that. His life at work had improved, too, and Tseng was more than thrilled to be dealing with a proper, responsible adult for once. Well, responsible enough for Reno, at least.
Holly looked at her father cheerfully through deep brown eyes-almost identical to her mother's. "Do you know what day it is, Daddy?"
Resisting the urge to grumble and fall back to sleep, Reno replied, "Saturday?"
Holly nodded. "Yes, and what's on Saturday?"
"Uh...Pancakes for breakfast?" Reno had fun amusing his young daughter.
"No silly! Well, yes, but today is a special day." Holly gazed at him questioningly.
"Christmas?" Reno tried again.
Holly huffed and put her hands on her hips.
Heck, she looks just like Tifa when she does that... Reno realised in admiration.
"No, no, no! It's Halloween of course!"
Reno blinked. "Oh. Vincent will be happy."
"So, can we go Trick or Treating?" Holly asked hopefully, ignoring his slightly confusing comment.
Reno couldn't supress a smile. She looked so cute wearing an excited face like that.
"Yeah, sure, go for your life. Just take my advice and don't let your boyfriend take advantage of you in his skeleton outfit." Reno replied, and was met with the clueless expression on his daughter's face.
"I think she means for us to go, Reno. As a family?" Tifa's voice from the doorway.
Reno turned in his bed to face his loving wife. She was wearing an amused smirk, and her big, cheerful eyes couldn't help but bring a joyful smile to Reno's lips. "Oh, okay. Whatever you say, love."
Tifa walked over to Holly and kissed her forehead. "Good morning, sweetie. Did you sleep well?"The girl nodded, shaking her crimson coloured lengths of hair as she did so. "Yes, Mummy. Are we having pancakes this morning?"
Tifa smiled warmly. "They're hot and waiting for you."
Holly let out a cheer as she ran down the stairs to the dining table. Tifa turned to Reno with the amused look still bright on her face. "Don't you just love having a daughter?" Tifa asked, leaning over the bed to kiss him lightly on the lips.
Reno smiled tiredly. "Yeah, 'cept when she wakes me up at the crack o' dawn."
Tifa giggled. "It's 10 am. Not exactly that early, hey honey?"
Reno hesitated. "Well, for me it is. Maybe I'll feel more awake if you gimme another one of those kisses made in heaven."
Instantly, her lips were upon his. But only for a moment. "Mummy! Daddy! Come quick! Rufus is having a baby! "
Tifa stood up and headed for the door. "Coming love! Reno, get your ass up."
Reno sighed. She was so two-faced. "Yeah, whatever...stupid dog. Chooses the perfect times to give birth..."
The three of them were seated at the dining table, their pancakes perished and their dog's labour a false alarm-she was choking on the pancake Holly had fed to her. Now, they were discussing costumes.
Tifa cleared her throat. "So Holly, what do you want to dress up as?"
Holly smiled, and replied matter-of-factly, "A Fairy Princess, with a pretty silver tiara and a beautiful magic wand."
Reno snorted, and was rewarded with a kick in the leg from Tifa. "Sure sweetie, we'll make sure you're the prettiest fairy in Midgar."
"I want to dress up as-" Reno began, only to be interrupted by the wrath of Tifa.
"Reno, you don't need to dress up. You're scary as it is."
Reno's face went red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment. "I am not!"
Tifa poked her tongue out childishly at the redhead. "Are too."
Reno was inclined to retort. "If I'm scary, then what does that make you?"
Tifa's eyes darkened. "Oh, you are so gonna pay for that, Reno of the Turks."
Reno raised an eyebrow at her comment. "I'll be waitin', sugar."
Holly, now tending to her half wild hair, was tiring of her parents antics. "Guys? Can we get started, please?"
Tifa nodded, all signs of anger fading from her now kind, soft face. "Sorry sweetie. Oh, you know what!?"
Both Reno and Holly stared at her, looking more than interested in what she had to say. "What?"
The brunette stood up and headed for the closet underneath the stairs. "I think...I still have some old halloween costumes in here...from when my parents and I used to go trick or treating."
Reno sniggered. "You want her to wear ragged old hand-me-downs? You don't think that lowly of her do you?"
"Excuse me Reno. These costumes are in excellent condition, and-" Tifa began, until she pulled out a moth eaten black suit and stared awkwardly at it. "Uh...That wasn't one of them, heh. That was...my great grandfathers, cough, cough."
Reno walked over to his wife and placed his hands upon her waist. "Babe, I could always just go get some new stuff. It aint no pain in the ass for me."
Tifa hid a grateful smile. She loved it when Reno acted like the loving husband, though she didn't know how to show her thanks. "I'd appreciate that."
Holly wasn't in the mood for watching her parents act all mushy around her. Silently, she slipped upstairs and headed for her room, where she would wait until they had some sort of plan figured out.
The costume shop was packed. For such a small store, Reno was surprised that it could actually fit over two dozen people inside. About a dozen racks were placed around the store, filled with all kinds of strange outfits, all the colours of the rainbow.
The redhead squeezed past the crowd of people, keeping on the lookout for an interesting outfit, until finally he saw the perfect fairy costume, with matching silver tiaras and wands.
Death staring the other customers in the shop, he rushed towards the outfit. He could see several others admiring it, but he was determined that he would be the one to buy it.
Yet, just his luck, right before he reached it, an unknown hand came out of nowhere and plucked it from his vision.
"Hey, who the hell-" Reno began, his face turning crimson with rage.
"Excuse me, Sir, keep the language down please." He was tapped on the shoulder by the female shopkeeper standing behind him.
"But he took the fairy thingy offa me!" Reno protested, his face full of disappointment.
One of the wandering customers snorted at his comment and quickly walked off.
"We do have several others in store, Sir. If you tell me the size you are looking for, I will kindly fetch one for you." The woman replied, perfectly calm for a shopkeeper in such a busy store.
Reno went pale. Holly's size. Of course. The one thing he had no clue about. "Uh...Um...Heh. Well, you see..."
"It's for you?" The shopkeeper asked, surprisingly patient.
"Yeah, I aint getting any younger." Reno chuckled, and was glad to see the woman smile at his joke.
"It's for my daughter. She's 6 years old, and she's pretty average." He added, his smirk still alight on his face.
The woman nodded and headed for the storeroom behind the serving counter. "One moment please. Oh, and would you like a funtime potion?"
Reno stared oddly at the woman. "What the hell is that?"
"It's what I just said. A mystery potion." She replied sharply.
"No you didn't. You said funtime." Reno retorted, choosing his words carefully.
"Um...Sorry. So, was that a yes or a no?" The woman was fiddling with a pen on the counter.
Reno was getting more than a little creeped out. "No thanks. I don't drink stuff that I'm clueless about."
She nodded. "Of course. I'll be back."
Leaving Reno alone, he glanced around the store, in search of a costume for himself and Tifa. There were ghost costumes, skeleton costumes, bear costumes, zombie costumes...Perfect.
"I'll take that." Reno muttered and whisked one of the green zombie outfits from the racks, placing it on the counter where the shopkeeper was waiting.
"Does this," She held up a shimmering golden fairy dress, with matching wings, a silver tiara and wand, "meet your expectations?"
He nodded quickly, his bright red ponytail shaking along with his head. "It's perfect. And...Can I get this for me? Size...Uh..."
The woman raised an amused eyebrow at him. "You don't know your own clothes size?"
Reno scratched his head awkwardly. "Uh..." He seemed to be running out of useful words quite a lot lately.
The woman sighed softly and headed for the storeroom once again. "I'll be right back. Oh, and are you certain that you don't want a funtime poti-"
"I'm friggin certain!" Reno snapped, and watched her leave.
Now, something for Tifa...
Reno began to scan the racks and shelves, until finally he layed his devious eyes upon the perfect costume. "Hehehe..."
"A werewolf costume?" Tifa was staring in disbelief at the outfit laid out on the table in front of her. "At least now I know what you think of me."
Holly was standing in her newly recieved fairy costume, giggling at her zombie of a father. "Silly Daddy! Mummy, Mummy, put on the costume! Then we'll all be matching!"
Tifa groaned. "Reno..."
"I no Reno...I Frankenstine..." Reno, aka Frankenstine, replied, his arms held out in front of him.
"Aaah!" Holly giggled, running away from her incoming zombie of a father.
"I gonna get you! Aaargh! I gonna tickle you!" Renkenstine's deep voice groaned.
Once Reno began his act, it wasn't going to end for quite a while. Tifa knew this better than most, so she reluctantly grabbed the costume and headed upstairs to change.
"Trick or treat!?" Renkenstine, Tifa, and Holly all said in unison.
The young boy at door began to cry, calling for his mother, before running hastily inside to escape the 'monsters'. Reno and Holly looked at each other and giggled, leaving Tifa feeling...slightly left out.
"Guess he chose trick." Renkenstine whispered into his daughter's ear, resulting in another giggle.
"Next house?" Tifa asked in an attempt to join their little group.
But Renkenstine and Holly were already there. "Trick or-Yaaah!!!"
Holly leapt behind her father and hugged his long legs tightly. "Daddy, save me from the monster!"
"It no monster. It KING of monster!" Renkenstine mumbled, glaring at the figure in front of him.
"Get lost." The deep, dark voice snapped, and slammed the door.
Tifa the werewolf tapped her zombified husband on the shoulder and stood there, looking very stupid with her hands on her furry hips. "That's no way to treat Vincent-WOOF!" Her hands went straight to her muzzle as the unexpected noise came out. "Oops. I think I've been wearing this thing for too long."
"You telling me. I no stop talking this way." Renkenstine replied, unable to move his arms from their erect position.
Holly found this very amusing. "Silly Mummy, silly Daddy!"
"Sweetie, can you-BARK! Help Mummy take this werewolf suit off please? WOOF!" Tifa was finding it hard to control herself now.
But Holly just stood and laughed. "But it's so funny!"
"What 'bout Daddy?!" The overly irritated zombie demanded. He was whacking his arms against the wall of Vincent's apartment in a desperate attempt to break free.
"Your even funnier!" Holly replied through her fit of uncontrollable giggles.
Although now, she was more of a fairy than a young girl. The silver wand she held was pouring out rainbow glitter, and it looked very realistic. Her wings were beginning to flutter now, and her feet were slowly come off the ground to a hover.
Tifa yelped in horror. "Reno! Get the damned things off!"
"I no help..."
The front door of Vincent's apartment burst open, and a frustrated, tired looking (or in other words, average) Vincent emerged, like the hero of a story book. "Bloody hell, do I have to do everything around here?"
He first went to Holly and unzipped the back of her dress, a mere centimeter before she lightly came to the ground. Next, he pulled the werewolf mask off a distressed Tifa, and finally, the zombie mask off Renkenstine-who was now Reno once more.
"Now get lost. And I mean it this time."
The three glanced at each other with stunned expressions of disbelief on their faces. For two basic reasons. Number one, they had just been possessed by halloween costumes, and number two, Vincent had actually helped them.
"I said get lost!!!" Vincent's voice yelled from inside.
They rushed quickly off the older man's property and slumped to the ground. After a few moments of catching their breath and taking everything in, Tifa asked Reno, "What was the name of the place you bought these cursed outfits anyway?"
He paused, trying to recall the name. Yeah, what was it?
Then something clicked inside his rather slow brain. "VMATL. That's all it said. Don't know what it stands for, though."
"Then it's a mystery." Tifa murmured, looking up at the chilling, pitch black night sky. She rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them. "You know what? After all that, I don't think I want to know."
"Yeah. That shopkeeper chick kinda creeped me out with those freaky funtime mystery potions of hers..." Reno admitted.
Tifa looked up at him. "What?"
"Funtime mystery potions...they-"
"I know what they are, stupid. They're what caused the costumes to act like they did." Tifa sighed, standing up and pulling the costume completely off.
Now Reno was confused. "Huh? I don't get ya, honey."
Tifa grabbed the redhead by the green arm and pulled him towards the car, Holly toddling behind. "We're gonna go sue. And Reno?"
"Next time, can you just try and use that alcohol dampened brain of yours?"
"Well, I can try, but ya know how it is. I've lost so many brain cells, even I'm surprised that my sperm weren't damaged enough to give ya Holly. In one piece, at least." Reno replied, his all-too famous grin plastered on his face.
Holly's brown eyes lit up with curiosity. "What, Daddy?"
Tifa sighed. "Reno...Will you ever learn to shut that mouth of yours?"
Wondering what VMATL stands for? You'll have to use your imagination.
Oh and if that last part about the brain cells and sperm didn't make sense, it wasn't supposed to. Reno's lost so many brain cells that practically nothing he says makes sense...