Right… So… I Am So So SO! Sorry
It's Been, What? Four? Five? Months Since I Updated
I Really Am Sorry About That
But Exams Took Priority Over My Stories
…For Obvious Reasons.
Don't Get Good Results, Don't Get Back For A Levels,
Probably Wont Get A Job That Pays More That Five Thousand A Year And Then I'm Fucked Over Six Ways Til Sunday
And I Should Probably Start Learning How To Incorporate The Words
'Do You Want Fries With That' Into Every One Of My Sentences
And Resign Myself To The Fact That I'd Die A Thirty Year Old Woman
Alone And Fat With An Alcohol Problem.
So Now… I Think I Best Refresh Your Memory On What Just Happened In The Story
Sorry Again Guys :(
I stared wide eyed after Edward. Had I just kissed Edward, or was that a product of my overactive imagination? I moved my hand up to my bottom lip. It still tingled. There was no doubt that that had actually happened. But why had he run? Probably appalled at what he had done. The only reason I had pulled away was because I was so surprised.
I needed to know why he had run. I needed to know why he had kissed me in the first place. I held onto the hope that he had stronger feelings for me than just friends as I ran after him, following the dim trail of his scent into the forest.
Be Cautious Of His Webs
I darted in between the trees, my clothes just glancing of their twisted branches and my hair whipping into my face. Scant light pierced through breaks in the trees like pillars of radiance illuminating the crumbling leaves that I left in my wake. His honey smooth scent was fast being blown away by the harsh winds that rage though the forest, but the imprints of his passing still remained.
I followed the footprints that were deep set in the ground. He was hurrying – rushing to get away from me. A lump formed in my throat as I stopped dead in my tracks. He was running so fast. He didn't want to see me. He made a mistake, a spur of the moment decision that made me want to just fall apart. I turned around to the direction I just came from ready to flee to my cabin, to the hospital, to anywhere but here, but the flurry of air changed its course and brought with it the smell of honey and sunflowers.
I froze in my tracks again, debating. I needed to know why he would do this to me. Why he would show those feelings and then just run from me as if I carried the plague. But I don't think I could stand the humiliation of being disregard by that god of a man.
I stood straighter. I would not be humiliated by that man if I didn't go to him. He wanted me to chase him. He wanted to see that look on my face. He wanted the satisfaction of knowing that like women before me, he had me securely trapped in his intricate web.
I slumped again, my posture defeated. But he had got me trapped. I needed him like the blood that kept me going. And I needed to know the truth. With determination filling me, I bolted silently into the wind and hoped that by going against the gusts I would remain unnoticed until I wished otherwise.
The smell got stronger the further I went, and eventually I could see brighter light being filtered through the trees. I slowed down to a human paced jog as I reached the edges of the field he was in. He had stopped, sat down even. I thought he was trying to run away from me but there he was; sat with one of his legs propped up and the other folded under it while his hands were resting in his lap playing idly with a daisy he had plucked from the ground. His face was tilted downwards so some of his hair fell into his face from the organised chaos that was the top of his head.
His mouth was moving faster than I thought his lips could go; Alice seemed to be the one that did the most speed talking. But Edward wasn't speed talking. He was speed singing, murmuring lyrics to himself, perfectly in tune in a heartbreaking tenor, though I couldn't make out the lyrics. My breath caught in my throat as the sun slipped out from between the clouds.
I glared at the sky and then watched with irrational fury as it barely swept past his feet and then disappeared again. What is wrong with Forks? Why could the cloud not have moved just a few more meters away so that all of Edward was in the light? The image seemed magical even if it was only in my mind. I almost voiced my huff of irritation.
An uneasy feeling washed over me, chilling me. It felt suddenly wrong for me to be watching Edward like this – to spy on such a moment that seemed to be very private was immoral.
Just as I turned to leave his head snapped up and began searching in the direction I was hiding. I flipped around and pressed my back to the cool bark of the tree I had been leaning against. My breath stopped and my ears immediately began searching for any signs of movement. I could hear his hair shuffling as he twisted his head around searching for an intruder. I heard the wind ruffle his clothes and detected the sounds of him taking large intakes of breath and realised but a moment to late that the direction of the wind had changed once again and was now carrying my scent right towards Edward.
"I know your there Bella," his voice called out softly. I looked around the tree in time to see Edward stand up and watch me with an unfathomable look in his eyes. I stepped out into the clearing, but kept a wide gap between us. He smiled sheepishly. "I wouldn't have sung if I had known you were there." He continued in an uncomfortable tone; "I thought you were a deer. I was about to hunt you," he finished, smiling meekly and gestured slightly towards his blackened eyes. They were odd to see. I'm sure that his eyes had been golden brown before.
I almost felt the click in my mind and the shift of my emotions. I felt a scowl ripple across my face as what he said registered. He was hoping I was an animal. He didn't want me here. He would prefer something that he could drain. My voice was bitter when I spoke.
"So you would rather me leave is that it?" he opened his mouth to interrupt me but I carried on determined to say what was in my mind. "I'm sure your life was perfect before I waltzed into it but I'm not going to leave my daddy for some stuck up, self righteous, secretive little- "
His mouth cut me off, moulding against mine for the second time, and I was just as surprised as the first time, but instead this time of pulling away myself, I shoved against his chest as hard as I dared. He stumbled backwards with shock coating his features.
"You think I'm someone to toy with? That you can play my emotions like your precious piano? I'm not going to be messed around with like the other girls that have gotten tangled up with up you!" I barked at him. My hands were shaking and I clenched them into fists in an effort to stop them.
"What other girls Bella?" he raised his voice to the volume I had been yelling at. I thought back, trying to pick them out so I could yell at him some more. I remembered everything so clearly as if it had just happened moments ago, but I didn't recall any women at all, other than his family, that have interacted with him. I stopped shaking. I came to the realisation with a jolt that there were no other women. I had just told myself that to make myself feel better. I looked away from him in guilt.
"There aren't any other girls. There hasn't been and there never will be another," he finished in a hushed voice. I couldn't look at him. I was so ashamed of what I'd shouted at him, putting mindless accusations in my own head. This was the first time I'd truly felt my physical age since….well since I was actually alive. I glanced up at him and saw he was looking at the ground too unwaveringly. He was so much younger than me but he seemed so old and defeated right now.
I couldn't stand the distance anymore. I couldn't stand the resigned feeling he was giving off. I silently took a step forward, and when he didn't react I dashed towards him and crushed myself to his chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and buried my face in his shoulder. His arms snaked around my shoulders in return.
I wished that I didn't have to move; that I could just stay in this beautiful clearing forever with Edward, but as the rain began to trickle through the dull clouds, even though I couldn't feel the cold I didn't want to get soaked, so I started back towards my cabin, following the marks I had made, with Edwards hand securely held in my own.
"How about…Wolfgang Mozart?" Edward asked with fascination. It hadn't taken long for us to fall into a deep conversation about our lives before we knew each other and the people that had been in them while we waited for the pitter-pattering of rain to stop. Of course it didn't take long for Edward to finish, but I, having lived for many years before him was still going. It made me feel old…like a cougar for wanting to stay with Edward, but his school boy enthralment made me want to keep talking.
"Of course. I was doing some exploration of Vienna at the time," I said as I scanned my books. I was trying to find my copy of Dracula. Back when I had it signed by Mr Stoker I was aiming for dark humour, but its turned into a lot more than that over the years. It held a lot of value for me and not just money wise. It was one of my possessions that I would never even think of parting with. "He was…good" I said struggling for the words. I scowled slightly. I was facing away from Edward who was lounging on my couch.
"Just 'good'? He was a musical prodigy, even as a child!" he exclaimed as if he was offended by my choice of words.
"He was also a psycho and a pest. All of the accounts of him seem to have missed that he was particularly obnoxious for a gentleman." I haughtily replied as I recalled the way he followed me around and commented about anything and everything; pointing out the obvious most of the time. That, and the fact that he felt the need to introduce himself to me with his baptismal name – probably the longest name I had ever heard – whilst staring at the cleavage that I had gained through the tight corsets women were expected to wear.
Edward didn't seem to be impressed by my observation but the look I gave him assured him that if he had met him for himself he would think exactly the same. He shook his head as I resumed my search. It had to be around here somewhere. I know I had put it in the box back in Manchester.
"Isaac Newton?" he asked again, shifting slightly in his seat. I heard the rub of his clothes against the fabric of my red sofa. I wasn't even consciously listening to him, but it seemed all my senses were honed in on him.
I hummed under my breath before answering. "Incredibly briefly. When I was a midwife. He was a tiny baby," I said with envy just seeping into my voice. I had never thought of having children when I was alive, but when I first held a newborn baby I didn't want to let it go. I fell in love with the little creature as soon as I saw her. A few days later I had received word that she had died, and it was then I really knew how fragile humans were; how this child, sheltered and well looked after by her parents and other siblings had simply not made it.
I shook my head. It was impossible for our kind to have children; the women anyway. I was positive I had heard of a half human, half vampire baby being born of a human in the Amazon rainforests. Word travels fast around nomads who pass stories along between one another. But even though I knew that was a matter for another time I couldn't help but wonder why the men, the side of humanity that doesn't actually have the maternity instinct, are the ones who are able to impregnate humans.
"You delivered one of the most influential people in human history? Don't you think we might have been interested in that?" he asked. I looked over my shoulder at him. He was frowning at me, almost disapprovingly. I shrugged my answer and turned back. It must be at the top of the bookcase I thought. I put my hand on the shelf just above my head and pulled myself up to look down the curved case.
"You haven't asked about the bad people," I said lightly, noticing that he'd been keeping to the more respectable side of history; Oscar Wilde, Florence Nightingale – those sorts of people.
I could almost hear the frown he made. "That's because I don't want to know about 'the bad people'. I don't even want to know about your expirience with them," he said stubbornly.
I grinned over my shoulder at him and asked in a teasing tone "So you don't want to know about Jack the Ripper or Earl Ferrers or Sweeney Todd?"
His reply was quick and sharp; "Don't start Bella."
I giggled at his anger. It was completely absurd. I was a vampire. Indestructible and immortal. "I'm only kidding," I reassured him. "Sweeney Todd is just fictional." He groaned into his hands. "Haven't you ever wondered what happened to Jack the Ripper? He wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't, you know, stepped in."
My lips pressed into a tight line as I thought of him. He was a rat. A disgusting murderer. He deserved that hit over the head. Even when I saw some of my students dissecting him, I took sick pleasure in seeing what was happening to him. I felt my face light up as I reached out to grab the worn, leather bound book. I flipped it around to show Edward.
"That's such a ridiculous book," he commented as I took a seat next to him, curling a leg underneath me before I sat. I glared at him, folding the book into my chest as if to protect it from his mean words. Bram Stoker was a nice man, clever and humorous, though slightly wry. The thought that Edward was calling one of his best and most renowned books ridiculous made me very defensive.
"You're ridiculous," I retorted in a petulant voice.
He shifted closer to me and grinned crookedly at me with mischief brewing in his eyes. "Would it be ridiculous to kiss you? Or will you throw one of us away again?"
Once again I found myself reverted back to a teenager. I giggled and shook my head as he cupped my cheek with his hand and closed in on me with the sparks beginning to crackle. His lips were millimetres away from my own when he stopped. I frowned and began to close the gap myself, but he shifted back and glowered at the door.
I waited for a moment before the door opened and Matt entered with the blood of his latest victim glowing in his eyes. I cringed inwardly as I thought of the innocent person he had killed. Maybe it was a father on his way home from work to his family, or a woman returning from a day out in Seattle shopping with her friends. My skin crawled at the thought that a young family were waiting for their father or mother or sibling, and they would never see them again.
I shifted away from Edward, somewhat embarrassed at being caught like this. Matt glanced between us quickly and hesitantly said in his deep voice "Am I interrupting?"
"No!" I immediately replied, receiving a sour look from Edward and an unconvinced one from Matt. "Seriously, come back inside," I invited. He had the door shut and was sitting on the couch opposite us before I could tell him that there was a passage leading to a room beneath the cabin where he could clean up. In that same moment Edward was by the door again. My head whipped around to face him.
"I need to get back," he said shortly before almost ripping my door off in haste to get away. I sighed as I slumped back and faced Matt. He stared after Edward and spoke without looking at me:
"He despises me," he said simply. I sighed again. This was absurd. No matter how short a time Matt would be here – with the whole Victoria wanting to rip my heart out business – I didn't want to have to deal with the animosity Edward holds for my only friend from my time as a human.
I stood and closed the door before pushing the entrance to the stone passage way open. I walked into the straight dark tunnel that steadily steeped downwards, not hearing him but seeing Matt's shadow fall across me. I knew he must have been bending down because the tunnel was only tall enough to fit me though comfortably, and my head only skimmed the top of his shoulder. After a few meters the tunnel began to curve around the perimeter of the cabin.
I came upon the door to the underground cabin and left it open for Matt. The room was similar to the cabin upstairs. There was a curved walkway, but this time it didn't hold books. On the opposite side of the door was a big TV, and to the left there was a long curved wardrobe, and to the right were shelves filled with films. In the middle of the room there was a square platform on which a gas fire with pebbles in stood. The floor was tiled in marble and on one side of the fire, closest to the wardrobe was a circular free standing shower. It dipped further down into the floor by a few inches and had a cylinder of glass surrounding it, stretching from the floor to the ceiling with a sliding door on it. On the opposite side to that I had a dark, wooden four poster, king sized bed with white drapes around it, just to laze on and kill hours between shifts at the hospital. On the floor next to my bed were a few stacks of books that I hadn't bothered to return to the shelves.
I glanced back at Matt after a few seconds, whose eyes seemed to be fixed on my shower. I could feel the blush that wasn't actually there creep up my cheeks. There was no need to have fogged out windows. I was the only one intended to come down here; the only one ever to see into the shower, so I figured there was no point in making it so you couldn't see in. This was the most private place I'd ever had. I was in the middle of the forest and the lower cabin had no windows on.
I wandered over to my films and pulled one out at random to play.
"How was your hunt?" I asked without facing him while putting the disc in. I don't think I could look in his eyes, fresh with the blood of his newest kill, while asking him that.
"It was…fruitful," he said. I almost chuckled, but just settled for nodding. Only Matt would choose that word. I settled on my bed and patted the space next to me, inviting him to sit down too.
"Do you think James will come soon?" I asked straight away, eager to know how close the threat of Victoria was.
"So keen to get rid of me Ann," he sighed, but smiled too so I knew he didn't take any offence. "They will come soon I think."
I nodded to myself. I didn't want Matt to leave but I was so scared about the whole ripping out of the heart thing that I didn't dare keep him around for much longer. I looked him over. His shoulder length black hair ruffled around his face and fell into his eyes. He had propped himself up on his elbows behind his back making his neck longer as he stretched it slightly to watch the TV. His broad shoulders led down to the V of his hips and his legs were so long they dangled off the end of my bed. And he was on my bed. In my cabin. In the middle of the woods where no one could hope to see us.
But there were no feelings beyond the ones of friends. No urge to push the hair from his eyes. No want to kiss him. No need to trace the contours of his muscles. Nothing of what I felt for Edward. And just like that I wanted Matt out of here so my Edward would come back.
OH MY GOD MY EYES ARE ON FIRE!
Well That's What It Feels Like Anyway
My Hay Fevers Been Going Absolutely Nuts.
To The Point I've Been Up At Three In The Morning Crying Into A Towel
Anyways Tell Me What You Think Please :)
I Need To Get Back Into The Swing Of Writing Again.
Buuuuuuuuuut The Next Chapter Is The Family Hunt
And Then It Gets A Bit More Interesting
While Rosalie Is Being A Bitch (ITS ALL HER FAULT! THE COW!)
And Then Even More Interesting After That :P
LOVES! X x X