"You never told me you loved me." He said to me, looking out the window. And I know, he was doing everything in his power to avoid my eye contact, to pretend as if he was fine. But I can see through it. Maybe I'm the only one who can see through it.
I sigh heavily and look at him. "Yes. Yes I did tell you. You just didn't want to listen at the time."
"At the time?" He finally looked at me. "Which time are you talking about?"
And now is the time in which for me to stare downwards, wondering why and how this ever happened to me. "Lilly?" He questioned me. And all I can think is how I want to hear him say my name over and over and over again.
"Oliver?" I ask back, hoping he feels the same about me saying his name as I feel about him saying mine.
"When did you tell me this? Because no part of me remembers this conversation at all."
I'm still staring at the ground as I managed out the words, "A year ago."
"A year ago? Seriously? You expect me to remember this? Feelings change Lilly. Back then I might have just... I don't know..."
"You don't know what? If you love me or not? That's a little difficult to believe. If you love someone, you just know." I looked at him, with glazed over eyes.
He gulped loudly. "I don't know."
"Then you don't love me." I cry out, shaking.
I basically kick open the door of his shiny red car, and fastly walk all the way to my front door. But right as I'm sticking the key in the keyhole I hear another car door open, and close. I try to make the pace of me unlocking the door hurry, so I can lock him out before he can get to me. But right as the door begins to push it's way open, he put his arms around my stomach. Tighter than I think he was planning to hold me, and tighter than I expected. "Let go of me." I said to him. "Oliver. I'm serious. Let go of me." And I pulled out of his arms, falling into my house. Literally, on the ground.
I looked up at Oliver's face, and he looked just as shocked as I felt. "Lilly. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
I got up, and stared at him, "Leave."
"But Lilly. I swear. I didn't mean to push you down."
"What the hell was the holding me like that thing you were just doing?"
"I... I... don't know." He looked at the ground, with a face that seemed worried.
"Oliver. I felt like... I felt like you were just about to try to rape me..."
He looked up at me, his eyes wide. "Rape you?"
I stepped back once, "Yes. Imagine being a teenage girl, getting chased all the way up to her front door, feeling a guy wrapping his arms around you to the point where it was almost too hard to breathe, and then having him push you down to the floor."
"I didn't push you..."
"That's what it felt like... or seemed like..."
He took one step forward, and I once again took another one back. "Lilly. I would never..."
"Oliver. You're scaring me."
"I just... don't want to lose you..."
"Are you telling me you were thinking about it?"
"No. No. I wasn't."
"Tell me what you mean."
"I..." He took a step backwards himself, and turned his gaze to the wall. "...I was thinking about kissing you, and that we would... you know... maybe do it... but I would never ever rape you Lilly."
"You were hoping we would do it? What the hell is that?"
He looked at me again. "I don't know."
"You know I don't do that kind of stuff, Oliver." I looked over him more. "I don't believe you. You were going to do it."
"GET OUT!" I yell.
"I won't do it."
"How in the hell am I supposed to know that? You were about to do it not five minutes ago."
"You've promised me before."
"That was different situation. It was completely different."
"No. It wasn't. Now please. Get out." I was about to turn around, when I realized that turning my back to someone who was just about to rape me probably wasn't the best idea. But he was now three steps into my house, and that's all he needed to come running at me.
He just looked at me. "I loved you once." I said to him.
"You don't anymore?"
"You. Just tried. TO RAPE ME." I yelled at him, becoming angry that he would even question how I now felt about him.
"No I didn't."
"Damnit Oliver. Yes you did." I was finally beginning to cry. I had wondered when it would happen.
"Lilly." And he walked up to me, and I didn't move... not one inch. Because inside, I did still love him. With every beating of my heart. And even though I believed that he had just tried to take away the one thing I had control over, I still wanted nothing more than for him to hold me. Which he did, rubbing my back. "I didn't want to rape you. I promise. I just wanted to make sure I had your attention. I know I shouldn't have grabbed onto you like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I sniffed into his chest, not smelling anything but the scent of his shirt. I sighed. Knowing that part of me who regret saying this, but the other part of me couldn't hold it back. "I lied to you Oliver. I still love you."
"I love you too Lilly." And he held me closer.
I looked up at him, tears now staining my cheek, and his shirt. And as I looked at him, part of me knew I wouldn't have minded if we had sex. The only part that now worried me was the fact that it felt like he might have just raped me, had he had the chance. He looked at me too, and began to lean towards me, a kiss on his mind. I could tell. And I let him kiss me. Our first kiss. And whatever happened, was going to happen. And now, I wasn't going to stop it. I trusted him, and I loved him.
(Haha. I literally have no idea how that turned into that kind of story, it wasn't planned that way. I was typing away, and that's what came up. We had just finished a play at my school where someone was raped, so maybe that was it. Um. Yes... but this was my coming back story...? Hm. Hopefully the next one will be better. Haha. Reviews anyway?)