Chapter 2: It Gets Weirder

There was a family of crocodiles in the neighborhood, the father of which wasn't at the ZZE's party last night because he'd rather spent time with his son. (Actually, he would have rather been out partying… but that's a bit beside the point…) What was really confusing was when he somehow stumbled in the door that morning when he was supposedly "sleeping".

His wife, on the other hand, was standing there waiting before he even opened the door. "Where were you?!" she demanded as the door swung open.

He stumbled a bit more before saying in a slurred drunken tone, "…Shut you mouf, woomun…" he hiccupped and stumbled around a bit more. "…Me was out on…" He hiccupped again. "…morning jog…"

At this point, their son was up and out looking on their proceedings. Thankfully, (or unfortunately in the father's case) the mother noticed this first.

"Junior, why don't you go have some breakfast?" she suggested.

He was off before the rest of the "conversation" even continued.

The rest of the day was extremely off as Rat tried to avoid Farina while Pig was trying to get his sister comfortable. It almost didn't work until they decided to watch a movie and Pig offered to make popcorn but then Rat offered, instead.

"You rarely ever see your sister," Rat defended stiffly. "I'll go and then you can spend more time together."

Pig looked confused. "…But I thought you said…"

"Look, FORGET WHAT I SAID!" he interrupted in his usual angry outburst. Then seemed to quickly calm down to add, "You two just stay here and catch up while…"

Rat was gone in under a second. Farina looked at her brother slightly worried; Pig just had a bland expression on his face.

In fact, after awhile they both started to enjoy themselves and stop worrying, until Rat was still missing FIVE HOURS LATER and the movie had long since been over. Then Farina started to pester her brother into looking for him.

The truth was Pig didn't know the first place to look. The kitchen, sure, but the kitchen was empty. Then there was Rat's room, but Rat would yell at him… or worse… if he were actually in there. Even over by the computer, which Rat used quite often, there were scattered beer cans proving that they hadn't cleaned over there since Rat's last story attempt but not the author himself.

Discouraged, Pig headed outside hoping Rat hadn't been eaten by crocs, which although was a possibility was highly unlikely due to the fact that most of them were ether hung-over or now had Guard Duck to deal with.

As soon as he stepped outside he saw Rat lying on the front lawn with a beer can in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Pig walked over to his friend and looked down at him.

Rat quickly sat up and glared. "Why is it your sister always comes and ruins my life?" he demanded.

Pig only shrugged.

"I mean, it's like she knows just when my life's going perfectly so she can come in and make it all crash down again!"

Silence followed. Pig didn't really know what to say to that considering this was his sister that was being ranted about but Rat was his friend… Finally he just said, "Maybe she doesn't realize it…"

Rat stood up and glared at him again. "I'm gonna go fume in peace…"

He patrolled outside keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary… which wasn't really much of anything right now. Well… except for the glaringly purple house in the neighborhood and other problems, but considering he was currently on duty for one problem he'd just have to ignore those… for now.

It was quite, anyway, and the quite was starting to make him restless. If it were a trained opponent, they'd be planning an attack, he thought as he scanned the neighborhood.

The crocs were anything but trained, though. He frowned as he thought about it; it would have been nice to have an actual challenge for once. If this was just for his superior he would go tell him his ideas on how to neutralize the threat or even infiltrate the base, but as it is he was working for a Mr. Zebra and he wasn't too comfortable with taking orders from newbies.

A sigh; sometimes the military life was a bit too taxing. Then some movement caught the corner of his eye.

He turned to see it; definitely two crocs headed towards the house from a house next door. They were talking and laughing about something as they walked over. A smile slowly appeared; finally some action.

Zebra sighed and plopped down on his couch as the movie started. It was nice to finally be able to relax… Then there was a loud bang from outside.

He ran to check what was going on. It seemed the duck had decided it'd be a good idea to take out two crocs with a rocket launcher.

The duck turned to him and gave a stern salute. "Two targets neutralized, Mr. Zebra," he reported, guessing that that was probably the reason why his current charge was out here.

Zebra opened his mouth to say something but then sighed instead. There's probably no way to reason with this guy anyway, he thought as he headed back into his house, I don't see how Pig can stand it…

Pig walked back inside a bit disheartened. Somehow he felt everything was ruined and it was his fault. Rat made him feel like this a lot, though.

Farina looked as soon as he came in. "I thought you went to go look for Rat…" she said somewhat worried.

Pig made a soft kick at the carpet. "He said he had to go fume in peace…"

Farina sighed and nodded sadly. "In that case, I think I'll go for a walk," she added as she went outside.

He just sighed as he collapsed on the couch.

The day went slowly. For the ZZE, it was antagonizingly so, mostly because most of them were still hungover from the night before… but that doesn't really matter right now.

"Dis so BOREING!" one shouted. (He had been smarter than most of them and didn't really drink that much… not saying that he's usually smart, though…)

Another of the other crocs glared at him. "Me no like you…" he mumbled before collapsing in a heap.

Suddenly, a very beat up croc stumbled in. "Wife MAD woomun…" he stated before collapsing as well.

"Larry no look good…" a croc whispered from somewhere near then back.

"ME no feel good," came the reply as another croc stumbled and landed on a near-by couch.

In fact, none of the crocs really looked or felt all that good right then. They were mostly hungover (with the exception of Larry who got beat up and the one who decided not to drink that much) and therefore felt crappy because of it. If they weren't all hungover they'd probably be planning something that would make most of them feel a lot worse later. (aka dead… but not always…)

It was relatively peaceful; a book, calm environment, and no reason for anything to bother him for a long time besides the typical noise of the neighborhood, but he was more than used to it.

That is until a familiar voice went by his house shouting things that probably shouldn't be repeated here. He sighed; so much for a peaceful day…

Rat was anything but clam as he passed though the neighborhood. He didn't even notice when Goat stepped out and glared at him. In fact he probably wouldn't have noticed at all if Goat hadn't decided to "interrupt him" at that moment.

"What are you doing exactly, Rat?" Goat asked, pretty sure he didn't want to know the answer.

"What does it ^*%$#& look like I'm doing? I'm going to the bar!"

"You do know the closest one is a mile in the opposite direction, right?"

Rat suddenly froze stiff for a moment, but the moment was quickly gone and he then turned walking the other direction as he grumbled even more words that won't be repeated here.

Goat sighed; it was times like that that made him wonder why he never moved to a better neighborhood. (If one existed, that is…)