Well, then, here we go! It's been quite some time since I wrote down the stories that popp out of my head – but the boys brought it back to me!

It's my first approach, please read and review! (and don't be too hard ;-) )

Short summary: Sam is dead for five years, and Dean has to cope with it. Bobby and Ellen try to help. Rated T just to be sure!

Sorry, I'm really bad in summaries… Don't like it – don't read it!

Prelude

The demons poured out of the darkness, attacking the hunters – and Dean was unable to do something, anything.

He was pinned against the wall, arms strechted out as if he was crucified. There was blood dripping from a big slash on his forehead, and his left shoulder was soaked with the red life-fluid that steadily flew out of a bite. His shirt was torn across his chest, baring the criss-cross marks of talons that had torn his skin, when one of the demons had beaten him, just before he took the bitch out and Sam had pinned him against the wall, booted feet dangling about 2 meters above the ground. The fingers of his right hand now opened slowly, so slowly, to drop the gun he was holding, and no matter how hard he fought, he couldn't hold on to the weapon.

Sam, standing opposite to Dean a few meters away, wrenched it out of his hand and made it fly towards him, taking it casually out of the air. He grinned at his sbrother, a wide grin with to many teeth, his black demon-eyes glistening. „Well, Dean", he said with this mock tone Dean had learned to fear, although he would never admit that – not even to himself. „Seems you're shorthanded. What did you think, brother? That this poor bunch of hunters could stop us?" He smirked when he saw how Dean winced at the word „us". Sam used that word for Dean and him, for them being a family.

Dean closed his eyes. Sorry, Dad, I failed again. „Sammy, listen, it's the blood you sucked that talks outta you." At least his voice was still under his control.

The younger Winchester laughed out loud. „Yeah, sure it is! And it's MINE! I finally have become what I was destined to become, can't you see that? And, Dean – there is also a place for you – at my side."

Dean felt the pressure on his chest, which had pinned him against the wall decrease, and he slid down the wall until he had solid ground beneath his feet. He stared at Sam, who held out a black gloved hand and had put an encouraging smile on his face, showing the dimples on his soft cheeks.

Dean could swear he looked like his little brother again – not like the freak he became the last year when they fought Lucifer. God, it was so tempting... It could be so easy – just taking Sams hand, and everything would be as it was, four years ago... He reached out, ready to grab the hand, but then he backed off. „No. NO! I didn't go through all this just to become what Yellow Eyes told us! Never ever! It wasn't me who failed you – you yourself failed!" He suddenly realized that there was nothing he could do. It was all in Sam's hands now – for better or worse.

He opened his arms. „Well, Sammy, go ahead! Kill me and fullfill your destiny, as you put it. Give in to the weakness, go the easy way – but don't you ever use me again! Can't you see that it's wrong what we're doing here? We should fight together against the demons, not against each other. Just when did everything go so horribly wrong?! I want my brother back, I want you back, Sammy…"

Sam nodded slowly, hand sinking to his hip – and suddenly he grabbed for Dean's arm and pulled his face closely to his own. His eyes cleared up, and he threw the gun away, holding the struggling Dean with both hands. „Dean, listen to me, please! Stop fighting me! I had to rise this army because I knew you would never have listened to me otherwise."

Dean held still, his brother's voice sounding so real, so true.

"There is only one way to stop all this. But I can't do it. I have gone to far, there's no turning back." Sam damn sounded like the old Sam now, and Dean shot him a wary look. What was that now all about?! Another trick to seduce him? He peered hard at the weapon not two meters away from his feet, and considered diving towards it.

„You have to kill me. As Dad said. There is no other way to stop me." Sam saw where Deans eyes had been drawn to and shrugged. "Go, get the gun. But it won't help. Bullets can't kill me anymore." He drew a dagger out of the back of his belt and held it out to Dean, who sucked his breath in with a sharp sound. The demon-killing dagger! But – it was a trick, wasn't it? Why should Sam want him to kill him? Now that he was but inches away from victory?

And then he looked in his brother's eyes. Yes, they were his brother's eyes again. There was no guile or expediency in them. Just his little brother Sammy, and he was begging for salvation.

Dean grabbed the dagger without another thought and raised the blade. He stopped in midair, watching in horror as Sam lifted his chin and exposed the pink, soft flesh of his throat to him.

Suddenly Dean's arm seemed to weigh to much to hold up. He lowered the blade, shaking his head. "I- I can't do that…" he stammered, staring at Sam, whose lips had set into that little smile he used to have when being satisfied with the whole world around him. The smile vanished now, and Sam grabbed Dean's hand.

"But you have to! Don't you remember Castiel's words? You are the only one who can stop all of this. And you are the only one who can kill me. Believe me, I tried – but no-one can come close enough to me, they are all pushed back by my powers – I don't have control over that part. Must be some kind of primitive life saviour. But you, you are-" he stopped in midsentence, leaving the words unspoken that hovered between them. There was no need to pronounce them. Dean understood. You are the one who kept me save, pushing the nightmares aside when I used to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and tossing, you are the one who gave me his share of breakfast when nothing else was left, staying hungry yourself so I did not have to be, you are the one that always protected me against the tantrums of our father, you are the one who cleaned and bandaged my scratches and wounds and comforted me, you are the one who cared…

"Sammy, no, please don't…" Deans voice broke, his green eyes glistening. Sam put Dean's hand with the dagger onto the part of his chest were his heart was beating steadily underneath. "Dean, you owe me that. You brought me back from the dead, because you couldn't let go, but now you have to. If you are still my big brother – Dean…" He stared at the elder Winchester, eyes bright and full of confidence. "I cannot hold them back for much longer." He nodded towards the few demons who weren't battling the hunters but lingered at an unseen circle line around the two brothers. "It is my blood that will take them back to hell."

Dean's eyes lit up. "But then it is possibly enough if we spill a bit of it…"

"No." Sam's voice was determinded, set. "You need more than just some drops." He pressed against the tip of the knife. "I would do it myself, but I - can't. I need your help, brother. I need you!"

Dean heard the whispering of the demons surrounding them, saw the sinister looks in their faces, ready to tear him to pieces, once Sam's guards were down.

A scream pierced his ears, and he whirled around to where it came from. "Bobby!" The older man was pinned against the ground, bleeding from oh so many wounds, a demon girl sitting on his hips, teeth bared and just as she bowed down to bite the old hunter, Dean could not take it any longer.

"NO!" It was a shout coming from deep within him, frightening him for it did not sound human, it did not sound like him. "This is NOT gonna happen!"

He turned back to Sam and asked him with the slightest tremor in his voice: "You are sure this is the only way?"

Sam nodded sadly. "Yes." He was not able to say another word, for Dean lurched forward and punched the knife deeply into Sams exposed chest. His brother's eyes widened with shock, but he did nothing to defend himself. When finally his legs gave way, Dean caught his slender form by the shoulders, lowering him slowly to the ground.

"What have I done?" he stammered, eyes now full with tears. "How could I – how… Sammy, bro, hey, little man – SAMMY…" He did not care about the tears streaming down his bloody and dirty face, "I'm sorry… I am so sorry…"

"You have to finish it", Sam whispered, blood freckles staining his suddenly dry lips. "You have to read the exorcism."

Dean gently put Sam to the ground, climbed onto his feet and began reciting the latin words from his mind. He did not know why he suddenly could remember every word, and when he looked down at Sam, he saw his brother's lips move in unison with his own.

The demons screamed. But now it was different than before, no more battle screams, now they screamed in fear and pain. And then they were gone. Just gone.

Dean fell to his knees, not caring about hitting a stone with his left one, tearing up his jeans and scratching the skin so hard that his blood merged with Sam's.

"Sammy..?" He grabbed his brother's shoulders, yanking the younger one up so his head leaned against his chest. Sam opened his eyes to a slit, smiling at Dean with bloodstained teeth. "Thank you, Dean. Thanks, bro… Mm-m feelin' so cold…" He started shivering all over, and Dean pulled him even closer to him, tears blurring his vision. "'t'is okay, Sammy, it's okay… Just relax…."

Sam reared up and blinked rapidly. "Dean- Dean? It is getting dark… I feel so strange… Where's Dad? Will he be home soon?"

Dean gritted his teeth, fighting to hold Sam down, to hold him steady. "Don't worry, Tiger, you'll see the old man soon… Oh, God, Sammy…"

"Dean? Are you here? Where are you? I'm so scared…."

"I know – I know. But everything will be fine in the morning". Dean heard his voice say the words he used to say when they were little kids, when Sammy had woken to a nightmare, and no-one could calm him down except for Dean. "Everything will be fine. I'm here, Sammy. I won't leave you." He buried his wet face in his brothers unruly hair and cried when Sam's body went limp and his eyes broke.