Some might say that I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
In the eyes of the public I have a wonderful family, a wonderful life, and a wonderful…Edward.
I'm not exactly sure what to make of him.
No, fathers definitely don't cuddle with their daughters like we do.
Nor do brothers make out with their sisters.
Friends don't share beds. At least most friends don't.
If I had to categorize our relationship, I'd say we're a bit of everything.
When I was young, he was a father. He changed me, bathed me, took care of me. He bought me toys and watched silly kid shows with me while I made him dress up and play tea party. He made me eat my vegetables and taught me how to count. He read to me, he loved me.
When I became a little bit older, he was a brother. He took me to the theater, he rolled his eyes at my obsession with dresses and girly things and he took me to the state fair. We laughed over corn-dogs and cotton candy. He taught me how to drive, and he loved me.
And now? Now he's a friend. A friend who gave me my first kiss yesterday evening.
Just thinking about it makes my face go hot. It wasn't one of those lust-filled, bosom heaving tongue-fucks that I often read about in my novels, just an innocent, closed-mouth kiss.
No wait, it definitely wasn't anything innocent.
Nothing was innocent where Edward was concerned.
"My father's getting frustrated," Angela sighed, pushing up her glasses. "He was the fourth suitor this month and yet I felt nothing. But what am I suppose to do? You can't just force these things!"
Angela was my age. I met her when I was seven, even though we live in the same community. The community was fairly large, situated in private land owned by Edward. We were surrounded by towering, old oaks that grew for acres – you couldn't find us if you tried. Edward always went elsewhere to conduct business with the humans; he liked his privacy.
I nodded in sympathy at her plight, trying my best to understand. Angela was one of fifteen available females this mating cycle, and as such she was considered a hot commodity. At eighteen she had finally reached the age considered suitable for mating.
And boy were the males happy. It's only the second week of the month and already she's had to meet with eight potentials – all of them not compatible, of course, which explains her current situation.
As the parent of a female, her father had his work cut out for him. Tremendous pressure was placed on his shoulders to find her a mate and to quell the anxiety of the community. We were a dying breed, and we all knew.
"You didn't feel anything with anyone?" I asked from where I laid on her bed. It was in the middle of summer, and as such it was dang hot. We had opened up the window to let the breeze in but it wasn't doing anything for me.
"Mind if I strip?" I asked Angela, who shook her head no. I took off my shirt and stretched my arms. I forgot to do laundry the other day so all I had left was the lace bra Alice had bought back for me from one of her trips to the city.
"Oooh," Angela teased, "someone's expecting someone."
"Please," I tossed back, rolling my eyes.
I tried not to think about what happened yesterday, but by trying to not think about it, I ended up thinking about it anyways.
Damn my easily flushable skin.
"You're as red as my mother's ripe tomatoes!" she accused, jumping up from the chair. "Something happened!"
"No!" I replied a bit too quickly.
"Nothing happened, it's not like that."
"Then what is it like?"
"Friends don't see friends naked."
"I was five."
"You see, that's where you're wrong because it's totally relevant."
"Ah, so you want him to see you naked now!" she squealed loudly, jumping up on the bed to join me. I quickly pulled myself up into a sitting position to avoid being elbowed in the face.
"What?" I balked, backing away from her knowing grin.
"You," She pointed at me, "want to see our dear leader sans pants!"
I have no idea how she arrived at that conclusion.
"Shhh!" I quickly covered her mouth, perking my ears to hear if anyone was listening.
Vampires were known for their good hearing. They were fast, nimble creatures who had no known enemies.
Okay, maybe one known enemy – but we don't talk about them.
I wasn't a vampire, that I knew since I was young. It's hard not to overhear people talking when you live with the master of the whole place. Especially when that master made it perfectly clear that I was "off limits" to everyone.
For a while I was known as the "Porcelain Princess," named so because I rarely was allowed outside to visit the community. Barely anyone saw me unless I was accompanied by either Edward or at least two bodyguards, so it was no surprise that they all thought I was a fragile little thing.
Thank God for Alice. It was she who had finally managed to convince Edward to let me venture out and meet the community. I was officially introduced to the coven when I was seven, when I had first met Angela.
At first many people were mystified by me – I wasn't one of them, that was obvious but I also wasn't human. I didn't shimmer or thirst for blood like all of them, but I did possess their agility. I was fast, sometimes even faster than them and I had ears that could hear for miles around. My hearing was unparalleled, even by Edward who was the oldest and strongest of them all.
I was odd.
But as the years passed the people grew to accept me. Edward also learned to ease up a bit, and when I turned fifteen I was allowed to venture around the compounds without supervision. I still had a curfew though, which sucked bullocks.
"Let's not talk about me," I told her, smiling softly. "You didn't answer my question."
Good, distract her from the topic Bella.
But who will distract you?
"Oh right I almost forgot!" she gasped, reverting back to a bundle of nerves. "I've already met over thirty suitors, and I haven't found anyone!"
Since our coven was the largest in the Americas, it was often visited by other covens. The European coven's number rivaled ours too, but they were known for their shortages in females.
"It'll be okay, you still have time."
"I can't handle this Bella, I really cant." She started to cry. "I don't want to be forced to marry someone I don't love, even if we're 'meant to be.' How can they expect me to just mate and bear children? What kind of a life is that?"
Angela was stuck in a difficult place – neither of her options looked good. If she didn't find anyone, the stress would accumulate and she'd be forced to continue meeting suitors. If she did meet someone, she'd have to settle down quickly and start producing offspring.
It was times like this where I was glad I was not a Vampire. I didn't have to deal with all that mating business.
But you're also alone. You have no mate.
I have Edward.
For now, but he'll find his mate eventually and then…
I'll be alone.
Not human, not Vampire. I was an oddity in this world of black and white.
"Don't worry," I patted her back awkwardly, "It'll all work out. Trust me."
I wasn't sure why I said that, but it felt like the right thing to do.
"Thanks Bella," she sniffed. "I wish you could spend the night, I really don't want to be alone."
I couldn't, I wasn't allowed.
"You know I would if I could." I always told her the same thing, because it was true. I was expected to be home by dinner, which I just now realize started fifteen minutes ago.
"Shoot!" I yelped, scrambling to pull my shirt on. "I'm late!"
I gave her a quick hug before climbing over the window sill. "I'll see you later, okay?"
And with that I jumped down to the ground before making a mad dash back to the manor.
Edward's going to be pissed!
"You're late." Mary whispered as she opened the backdoor for me, gesturing to me to be quiet.
"I know," I whispered back, placing my muddy boots at the door.
"He's mad." She pushed me towards the dining room, straightening my clothes as she did so.
"I know," I nodded towards the stairs. "Let me wash up –"
"No time for that, you're already late as it is. We can't keep him waiting any longer!"
"He already knows I'm here, so what's the big rush?"
"The 'big rush' is because he'll be even more pissed when he realizes you wasted even more time arguing with me, now get in there!" she shoved me towards the door.
Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.
I didn't see Edward this morning.
Well, technically I did see him because we slept in the same bed but I had woken up extra early to avoid talking to him.
Which was hard, considering Edward woke up at the crack of dawn.
Whenever he goes on business trips he adheres strictly to the "sleep during the day, wake during the night" schedule in order to avoid any questions but at home, he was "human."
Or so he liked to call it. In my opinion, Edward was anything but human.
Adonis was more like it. A cynical, possessive deity all wrapped up into a brick-cold form.
Edward didn't like his schedules to be messed with, especially when it came to us. Our morning rituals usually consisted of having breakfast together (sometimes alone, sometimes with the family) and then a quick jog around the vicinity. Only a few people were up during this time and it was one of the few moments he could relax and let his guard down.
Afterward he would go to his office to get some work done while I could do whatever I want.
Well, not whatever I want but you get the point.
So needless to say, me skipping out on our ritual without even saying good morning probably pissed him off like no one's business.
And an angry Edward, was a scary Edward.
"Go!" Mary hissed, shooing me away.
Mary was an unmated female. She had tried courting for several years but gave up after it ended up fruitless. Not wanting to be a burden on her parents, she asked to live in the manor and help out in the kitchen.
She wasn't mean, but she took her job seriously. She took it hard that she wasn't able to help out her people, so the least she could do was "care for our dear leader," as she so reverently puts it.
I took a huge breath, trying to get my bearings straight.
Here goes nothing: I pushed open the wide double-set doors.
The dining room was empty, but the table was laden with food. Even though it was summer, a bright crackling fire had been lit.
No one else was here; there were no signs of Alice or the usual gang.
I guess he wants to eat alone tonight – perfect.
I snuck a quick glance around the room before stepping foot in and closing the doors behind me.
The clock chimed loudly as seven o'clock came about – shit, I was now thirty minutes late.
Still no sign of Edward.
He's probably mad.
He's probably so mad he can't even stand the site of you.
Oh please let that be so. But the thought of Edward being mad at me didn't sit so well for some reason.
Give him a couple of days, that's all he needs.
Yea, Edward can't hate me. If there's one thing I know about him, I know that he loves me. Now whether he loves me as a father, brother, friend, or lover is still yet to be determined.
We all know you want him to love you as a lover…
Oh god shut up.
You should have shut up last night when his lips –
I squeaked loudly and promptly knocked over a chair as I turned towards the dark corner of the room.
My heart was beating a mile a minute as I watched him walk smoothly out of the shadows.
He was dressed in all black, as usual but today there was something sinister about his outfit of choice. Maybe it was because I was already paranoid, but his silk shirt and loose slacks did nothing to cover up the anger that was radiating from him.
I accidentally looked up and caught his eye. He was staring at me intensely as he stalked towards me; I didn't even realize that I was backing up towards the wall.
"Edward," I managed to muster out.
"Do you realize how worried I was this morning?"
His voice was soft, but very clear. It held a strange edge as he continued to walk me backwards until I felt the wall.
"You left without telling me."
"I know –"
He was now right in front of me.
"I had to get a call from Mathew to know where you were."
"I know but –"
We were nose to nose.
"You know how I feel about not knowing where you are."
"Edward, listen to me –"
"No, Isabella, you listen to me!" We were both breathing heavily as we held each others stare. Me from slight fear mixed with frustration, him from rage. I fought the urge to look away as he glared down at me.
I was trapped. He had his hands on both sides of me, caging me in. I felt the urge to run as every fiber in my body realized that in nature, he was the predator and I was the prey. My body screamed for me to get away, and yet something inside me kept me standing still. I was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. Even though I realized that he could crush me easily with his bare hands, I also knew that he would never hurt me.
After what seemed like an eternity, he dropped his hands with a deep sigh as he leaned into me. I wasn't sure whether to put my hands around him or not, so I opted to leave it at my sides.
"Why do you always defy me?" he whispered against my neck. The feel of his hot breath sent a weird sensation through my body as I fought the urge to close my eyes.
I didn't know if I liked it or not.
I also didn't know what to say.
"Why, Isabella?" he urged on, nuzzling my neck slowly. "Why do you constantly have to do such reckless, dangerous things…"
Holy hell was that tongue?
"I was about to tear the whole place down to look for you, thinking someone had kidnapped you and berating myself for being so stupid…"
I was panting now, of that I'm sure. Thank god he had me tightly trapped against the wall because I wasn't sure if I was able to stand on my own two feet at the moment.
And then, we were kissing again.
Except this time there was tongue.
I know it's been a long time and for that I apologize :( The usual things got in the way and I just couldn't find time to write. But I'm trying :)
I was finding it a bit difficult to write in third person (or whatever the heck I had going on in the last few chapters) so I'm going to switch it up a bit with first person POV. Mostly Bella, but a few Edwards thrown in there.
Please tell me what you think! Do you like possessive Edward, or do you like a more easy going one?
I'll tell you what I think with the next update.