004. Insides.

A Day In The Life

Roger snatched the little black box from the man beside him and turned it over in his hands. "Roger!" Mark whined, "come on, give me my camera!"

"No," replied the giggling rock star, "I think you've lost that privilege, Marky. You're working the thing to death! Tsk, tsk, tsk. The things that must go on in its little mind. I don't think it likes you anymore, Mark." Roger heaved a dramatic sigh as the stunned filmmaker just sat there dumbstruck by the sheer insanity of his friend's comments. "Bad Marky, abusing his pets."

"Roger! Give me my camera!" Mark dove across the couch in an attempt to grab his favorite little black box but ended up landing on the floor empty handed as Roger ran off with his beloved camera. "Roger! This isn't funny! Give me back my …"

But what did the camera think of all day…?

Yawn. What the…? What time is it? He's filming at 3AM!? He's filming at 3AM. What the fuck is there to film at 3AM? Ooh! Look! It's the old guy with some bike wheels! I love the bike wheel guy! Let's go talk to him! Fine. Be that way.

I wonder how long it's been since he cleaned out my gears…Hey! You can't just wake me up like that then shove me in the bag! This is cruel and unusual treatment Cohen! OW! …. Damn pencils… Ah! Uh! Eek! Urgh… You just had to take the stairs at a run, didn't you? What happened to the Mark Cohen who couldn't wake up, let alone move, until 10 at the earliest? Bring him back. I miss him. I'd sigh longingly but I don't have lungs.

Yes! Light! Ha, ha! The loft! Ah, home at last. Hey! Don't just leave me on the table! That's right where Roger sticks his feet every morning! Gah! Much better. Right beside the coffee machine. I love the coffee machine.

So what are we working on today? Let me guess: Today 4 U right? Of course I'm right. Hey! Here's Roger! I love Roger. Then again I bet a lot of cameras feel that way. He's just so…OW! …. Good at knocking things over. I really wish cameras could sigh. It's so good for self-expression. Well, if you two are just going to sit there making out, like always, I'm just gonna get some shuteye. It's not a problem, right? Right.

Huh, what, where? Oh. Just the subway. Why is Collins swinging on the pole in the middle of a subway car? How did I ever not realize this man was gay? Why am I asking so many questions? Hm, hm, hm-hm, hm-hm-hm-hm, hm, hm-hm-hm… Since when could Collins sing and where the fuck did all this Santa Fe crap come from? Mark, you've destroyed my good language and if I had any way to complain I would probably file a frivolous lawsuit over it.

Now Angel is dancing too? Wait, why does this surprise me? Just forget it. Ha! Go prairie dogs! Well if you're just gonna stick me back in the bag… hey! I was kidding! Can't you take a joke! What? We're going anywhere in the vicinity of Maureen? Keep her away from me! I mean it!

…We're probably better off not knowing. The insides of a camera are no place for human kind. Where would we find lawyers for all our frivolous lawsuits? Let's just hope for the camera's sake that Mark catches up to Roger soon.