A/N: Okay, I had my final exam today, and whether I failed it or not, I'm free, so YAY! So, with end of the semester, end of the month, etc., I've decided to end this story. Hope you enjoy the (rather long) last chapter!
"I---cannot---BELIEVE you two!"
"Me neither! If you were gonna go and ruin the whole night by having sex, you could have at least invited me and Zeke to---"
"Yoo knoo, this just prooves what I've always said," Ezekiel muttered, poking at his destroyed dinner with a barbecue fork. "Premarital sex is a bad idea! It's wrong, it's sinfool, and you knoo what comes from it?"
"Zeke's right," Izzy said, wagging her finger at Cody and Jasmine, who were standing awkwardly amidst the ruined scene. "You guys shouldn't have gone off and postponed working on the party for sex. You should have been like me and Zeke, and had sex before you came here and then---"
"Izzy, STOOP talking RIGHT NOO!"
"Hey!" Izzy snapped. "Don't you take that tone with me, Mister Man!" Then she suddenly grinned, wrapping her arms around him. "I mean, come on...you know what it does to me."
Duncan snarled at her, while Ezekiel just covered his face and the others looked sheepishly away. Cody gave a lopsided grin, though. "Heh. Must be tough for you with that one around, eh Zeke?"
"Oh yes!" Duncan cried, throwing up his hands. "Let's all feel sorry for Ezekiel, with his hot nymphomaniac wife constantly throwing herself at him. I mean, really man, I don't see how you manage! Grrr!"
Duncan was shoving all his and Leshawna bed sheets violently into the wash, pouring in half a bottle of laundry soap straight from the bottle.
"This is perfect. Perfect!" he screamed, slamming the bottle back down without even putting the top back on. "Thanks to you two, the food is ruined, the decorations aren't done, Leshawna is gonna be back in fifteen minutes, and worse of all, I have Cody-sex all over my sheets!"
"You know, we didn't actually have sex," Cody said. Then, speaking bitterly out of the corner of his mouth, "Though we would have if you'd given us five more minutes..."
Ezekiel, still wrapped in Izzy's arms, blinked. "Five minutes?" Cody opened his mouth, felt his face burn, then looked quickly away.
"Hey, you know, we said we were sorry," Jasmine said, crossing her arms.
"Well, what were you two thinking?! No, really! What the hell was going through your heads that made you decide to jump into MY bed together when you were supposed to be helping me make this stupid surprise party work?!"
Jasmine shrugged awkwardly. "He's famous and cute."
"She's hot and thinks I'm cute."
"Gah---Zeke! How's the chicken?!"
Pulling away from his wife, Ezekiel poked the meal again; several black flakes fell off. "Not good, eh."
Ezekiel groaned. "Can you salvage any of it?! Even enough for one plate?!"
"Then do it! You three! The ones who are trying to destroy my marriage!"
"Yeah?" Izzy said casually, while Cody and Jasmine shared looks of annoyance.
"Get to work! Decorate! Blow up balloons! And I don't mean 'blow up' as in explode, Izzy!"
Duncan sighed, then looked at his watch again. "Oh…and where are Tyler and Bridgette?!"
The door opened. "Here we are, man!"
"Jeez, what happened in here?"
"Ooh, ooh! Zeke and I got locked in a bathroom, and then Cody and Jasmine had sex!"
"Never mind that! Did you get everything?!"
"I think so," Bridgette said, as she and Tyler set the bags down on the kitchen table. "We got chips, tortillas, dip, salsa, little hot dog things---"
"Little tofu hot dog things," Tyler muttered, sticking out his tongue.
"Oh, be quiet---um, we also got some carrot sticks in case anybody wants something healthy, some---"
"What about the cake?"
Bridgette froze in the act of unpacking the groceries. Tyler looked startled.
"…We were supposed to get that, dude?"
"YES YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET THAT!"
"You didn't tell us that!"
"I said 'get the snacks for the party!' Cake is a snack!"
"No it's not, man! Cake is, like, the main course! We thought you were getting the cake!"
"Oh, you have got to be freakin' kidding me!"
"Well, whudda we do?!"
"Go out and get a cake!"
"ANYWHERE! Just hurry!"
Tyler spun around, slammed his knee into a table and then hopped out of the apartment, holding his leg. Duncan let out a scream and grabbed his head in his hands, collapsing into another chair.
"Okay, Duncan? Calm down," Bridgette said, holding up her hands.
"No! Everything is a disaster! Leshawna's whole birthday is going to be ruined, and all because everybody---"
"Everybody?" Jasmine interrupted, glaring. "Excuse me, but I think you mean 'you.' Shawnie's birthday was ruined when you forgot about it. And that's not any of our faults."
"You had sex with Cody in my bed!"
"Which wouldn't have been a problem if you had remembered Leshawna's birthday in the first place!"
Duncan sighed, putting his head in his hands. "You're right," he grumbled. "You're totally right…well, except for the 'you and Cody having sex in my bed wouldn't have been a problem' part, that's unforgivable. But uh…Leshawna's gonna kill me!" he moaned, head falling onto the table in despair.
"No she won't!" Izzy said brightly. "We can fix all this! All we have to do is stall for time. Now quick!" she said, suddenly pushing him off the chair. "You go and call Gwen and Harold, get them to stall for time! I promise you, fifteen minutes, we'll be ready to get this party started!"
"Are you kidding?! There's no way we can---"
"You dare doubt my powers?! GO! CALL NOW!"
"Alright, alright, jeez…"
"I want to thank you guys for this again. It really did help to cheer me up a little."
"No problem," Harold said, smiling at her in the rear view mirror. "Do you want us to drop you off to get your car?"
"Eh, we're closer to home anyway. I'll just take Duncan's car if I decide to storm out."
"Good thinking," Gwen said with a grin.
Harold's cell phone rang. "Hello?"
"Hey, Harold, it's me."
"Oh hey Dun---uh---" Gwen stared at him in wide-eyed horror; Harold stuttered for a moment, trying to correct himself. "Duh---duh---Dylan, Dylan! It's my brother Dylan," he added quickly, when Leshawna raised an eyebrow at him. "Hey, Dylan! How are Nancy and the kids?"
"Okay, listen. Things here are going badly."
"What's the matter?" Gwen asked.
"Uh, 'Nancy and the kids' aren't good."
"Okay, listen, man. You and Gwen need to keep Leshawna away as long as possible."
"I don't know---uh, get dinner or something! Zeke's meal didn't really work out well, so that's okay."
"But we already had dessert."
Leshawna raised an eyebrow again. "Why does your brother need to know what you've eaten?"
"He's, uh---inviting me and Gwen over for dinner." Then, back to Duncan, "Uh, I'll do the best I can, man."
"Okay, thanks. I gotta go, Izzy's probably already destroyed the house by now---"
Click. Harold made a face and stowed his cell phone away. Gwen looked at him and Harold gave her a grave look.
Leshawna sighed in the backseat. "Well, we're almost home to my loving husband," she muttered, slumping forward.
"Hey, you know what?" Gwen said. "Maybe we shouldn't head home quite yet. I mean---we don't have to be home yet, do we, Harold?"
"Well, the baby's at your mom's house for the night, so no, we don't have to go home."
"Yeah, okay, then. Um---hey Leshawna, wanna do something else? Something…else…y?"
"Huh? I thought you two were driving me home?"
Harold felt his face grow red. "Well, I mean, you know, um---"
"You don't want to go home yet, do you?" Gwen asked. "I mean, with Duncan…and the fighting and everything…"
"…Okay, what is the matter with you two?"
"Nothing! We just---we just want to help cheer you up, that's all."
"Mm-hmm." The crossed arms and narrowed eyes clued the two into the fact that Leshawna wasn't even close to buying their act. "Riiight. But really, you two, you've done enough. I'd really just like to go home, please."
Gwen and Harold looked at each other. "Alright…" Gwen said slowly, silently praying that a.) they would hit a lot of red lights, and b.) Duncan would be able to hurry up and finish getting the party in shape.
Leshawna, meanwhile, leaned back in her seat, eyes still narrowed. Let's see what that fool husband of mine has thrown together this time.
"Okay, Gwen and Harold are going to try to stall but we still have to oh my gosh what happened?!"
The entire room was decorated with streamers, balloons and banners, the tables covered with carefully placed bowls of snacks. Bridgette, Cody and Jasmine were just putting the finishing touches on everything while Izzy watched, arms crossed and a maniacally triumphant grin on her face.
Duncan walked up to her, flabbergasted. "What the---this place was a mess two minutes ago! How'd you guys get this all done so fast?"
"Well, Izzy's a great motivator," Bridgette said, casting Jasmine a nervous look as they finished hanging a banner.
"Uh…yeah," Jasmine agreed. Izzy just smiled wider. Duncan raised his eyebrow.
"What did she…you know what? I've spent enough time in jail, I don't want to know. HEY ZEKE! HOW'S THE FOOD COMING?!"
He poked his head out of the kitchen. "Terr'ble. I coodn't get anything out of that bird, eh. Soo, we had too goo too Plan B."
"Izzy suggested frozen pizza!"
"Which is a great use of my foor years in culinary school, eh," Ezekiel muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Well, while that cooks come out here and help me set the table, okay? That way we'll be all ready when Tyler gets here with the stupid cake."
"What are we going to have to drink? Will there be booooze?" Izzy asked, as Ezekiel came out of the kitchen with a collection of plates.
Duncan chuckled. "Heh-heh-heh…no. Not for you, anyway. I remember what happened at our wedding."
Izzy scoffed, looking annoyed. "Oh, please, will you stop bringing that up? I put the fires out!"
"You made them worse!"
Izzy quirked an eyebrow. "Worse?…or better?"
Cody snickered. Bridgette and Jasmine gave him a look. "…What? I used to watch that show."
"Well, anyway, I'm gonna get something to drink," Izzy said, waving her hands as she disappeared into the kitchen.
"Just doon't touch the food!" Ezekiel called.
Izzy grabbed a bottle of soda from the fridge and popped it open, swigging it all down in one chug. Once complete she leaned back and let out a mighty belch.
"Nice one, Izzy!" Cody called from the living room.
She deposited the bottle in the trash and started to walk back. But as she passed the stove she paused, quirking an eyebrow.
The frozen pizza was in the oven, baking at 200 degrees Celsius. That couldn't be right, could it? Izzy always cooked them MUCH higher than that.
The box was still on the counter; Izzy picked it up and read the instructions. No, Zeke had gotten it right, it said to bake at 200 degrees for half an hour. But that didn't seem right, especially since Leshawna and the others were going to be back so soon. What if the pizza wasn't done by then? It would be a disaster! They'd have to wait, and that would just ruin everything, having to wait for food on your birthday, wouldn't it? Izzy couldn't allow that!
Izzy cranked up the oven temperature to maximum. "There we go," she said, cheerfully and with a decisive nod, before going back into the living room to help the others prepare.
DING DING DING DING DING---
"Ah, damn that farkakte bell! Why did I ever install it---hello!" the baker said, emerging from the back room to find a panting, sweaty costumer leaning against the counter as if he were about to collapse. "What do you need, sir?"
"A cake! Need---cake---quick!"
"Alright, and what kind of cake do you need?"
"Uh---the best---you have, I guess."
"Alright." The man turned, looking among the assorted goods behind him. "Our top products cost about ninety, a hundred---"
"A HUNDRED DOLLARS?!"
"We are a high-class establishment, sir," the baker said, quirking an eyebrow and sounding annoyed.
Tyler sighed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of bills. "What---can sixteen bucks---get me?"
"FIRE! FIRE, EH!"
"AGH! What the---NOT AGAIN!"
Ezekiel grabbed the hose from the sink and tried to spray down the fiery oven, to no avail. Meanwhile, everyone in the living room went running towards the kitchen---including Bridgette, who tripped on a spare balloon lying on the floor, stumbled forward with her arms flailing and accidentally brought the HAPPY BIRTHDAY! banner crashing down.
The others burst into the kitchen, eyes wide. "What do we do?!" Jasmine called, reeling back from the heat.
Cody pointed at the sink. "Grab a pot and fill it with water---or something!"
"Don't worry! Izzy will handle it!"
She leapt forward, pulling out a fire extinguisher---nobody quite knew where it came from---and sprayed it at the oven, sending white foam flying through the air.
Unfortunately, Izzy's aim wasn't very good.
"DIE, WICKED FLAMES! DIE WITH DEATH, MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
"IZZY, STOP! STOP!"
She did (though possibly only because the fire extinguisher was out of foam) and blinked. The fire was out, but the entire room---the walls, the counters, the ceiling, the floor and the Ezekiel---were covered with fire extinguisher…stuff, barely visible through the fumes that still filled the room.
Duncan gaped at his ruined kitchen, mouth open and, the others thought, possibly close to tears. Izzy, however, put her hands on her hips and beamed. "See? Izzy always puts the fires out in the end!"
It was about thirty seconds before anyone spoke again. Duncan's mouth was opening and closing, his body was shaking, and Cody, Jasmine and Ezekiel exchanged looks, wondering what was about to happen.
"I…am going…to KILL---"
"They're here! Gwen and Harold's car just pulled up outside!"
Everybody ran from the kitchen to the living room, where Bridgette was standing at the window in horror. Outside they could see Harold and Gwen, looking incredibly nervous, climb out of their car with Leshawna, who looked incredibly pissed. Duncan took several steps back, dazed.
"But they're---not supposed to---okay!" He took a deep breath. "It's okay. We still have the presents, and the room is decorated, and---wait, what happened to this room?!"
Bridgette looked nervous. "I…tripped? A…couple of times."
All the decorations were on the floor in a mess, except for one solitary streamer that still hung down, looking rather forlorn. Most of the snacks had been knocked onto the floor. Duncan made a little choking sound as Bridgette's cell phone rang. She answered it, watching him nervously.
"Tyler, where are you?"
"I'm coming down the street right now, I got a great cake and---"
"Don't come up! Leshawna and the others are already here, they'll see you!"
"But---what am I supposed to do?!"
"Uh…" Bridgette looked around wildly. Duncan was still standing there in a daze, head reeling. Ezekiel, Izzy and Jasmine just gaped, as Cody snapped his fingers. "The fire escape!"
"Yeah! Tyler, use the fire escape. I think it leads up into Duncan and Leshawna's bedroom."
"The fire escape?! But---"
"Just do it and hurry!" she snapped. "Oh, and love you, bye." She quickly hung up before he could respond.
"Quick! Everybody---try to fix things before they get up here!" Jasmine said desperately, grabbing a handful of streamers in her arms. "Cody, get the music playing!"
"Hey, here's a fun idea!" Harold said desperately, as Leshawna marched over to the elevators. "Let's take the stairs! That'll take longer---" Gwen elbowed him. "Ow! Uh---be better for our heal---"
Leshawna ignored them and pressed the elevator button. The doors slid open. "Oh, goody. We don't even have to wait," she said dryly.
"Yeah…goody," Gwen muttered as she and Harold boarded.
"Get those streamers up!"
"There's no time!"
"Well, we need some decorations, I---whooooaaaa---"
"Oh, Bridgette, don't fall. don't fall---"
Duncan, standing frozen amidst the chaos, groaned. "Well...I never really liked that vase anyway..."
The elevator opened; without a word Leshawna marched down the hall.
"Whoa, Leshawna, wait up!"
"Well, I'm just in a hurry to see what that bastard of a husband of mine has done this time!" Leshawna snapped, not slowing down. "Probably thinks he can just throw together some little surprise and that's all it's gonna take to make me happy! Well, he's got another thing coming this time!"
Gwen and Harold looked at each other. Both were thinking the same thing.
If Duncan wanted to fix things with Leshawna, this party better had better be awesome.
"Quick! Pick the chips up off the floor!"
"But it's been more than five seconds---"
"Screw the rule! Cody! You got that music playing yet?!"
"Just about, I---AGH!"
Despite being "fixed," as Cody pressed the PLAY button a massive jolt of electricity shot through him (again), so strong that he flew back and knocked into Bridgette as she came rushing past. She let out a cry as both Cody and the energy hit her, stumbling back and falling onto the ground right in front of the hallway.
"I'm here, I'm here!" Tyler cried, panting as he ran out of the bedroom with a bakery box in hand. "The cake's a little smashed but I---oof!"
Tyler stumbled and tripped over his girlfriend, and the cake went flying…
…right as the door flew open with Leshawna on the other side.
The cake slowly slid down from Leshawna's face, then splattered to her feet on the floor. She stood there, chocolate all over her face, two round pieces of fruit around her eyes like an absurd pair of glasses.
Slowly, Leshawna reached up and peeled one off of her face, holding it out. "What…is this?"
Tyler smiled nervously. "Uh, pineapple slices! Y-you like pineapples, right?"
Leshawna growled while Duncan put his face in his hand and groaned.
"OUT! Everybody out! Move it, get!"
Leshawna herded her friends into the hallway. "Are you sure?" Bridgette asked as Leshawna shoved her away. "I mean, we could help you guys clean---"
"Just get out!"
Everyone stood outside the door for a second, frowning. Tyler kicked at the ground. "Sorry, dudes!"
"Happy birthday anyway, Shawnie!" Jasmine called. Then she sighed, turning away from the door. "Well, this night was a bust."
Cody nodded. "Yeah." Then he paused, looking away with a small smile on his face. "…So, would you be interested in coming back to my place?"
She gave him a look before a small smile appeared. "…May-be, Baby Boy."
They grinned at each other for a moment before walking down the hall together. Cody whipped out his cell phone. "Hey, Noah? How much would it cost for you to not be in the apartment tonight…?"
Izzy elbowed Ezekiel as they followed them down the hall. "Pssst. Zeke. Guess what those two are gonna do?"
"They're gonna have sex! Hot, naked pre-marital sex! Hee-hee-hee-hee!"
"Ugh…I swear yoo were not this perverted when I married yoo, eh."
"Yeah, but that's before we were having sex, wasn't it?"
Finally left alone, Leshawna sat down at the table and sighed, her face in her hand. Duncan stood a few feet off, looking at the messy floor.
"Well, thanks a lot, Baby Boy," Leshawna grumbled, looking up to stare at the trashed apartment. "This sure was a great birthday you gave me right here."
"This was supposed to be a big surprise party," Duncan mumbled, kicking halfheartedly at a balloon as it drifted near his foot. "I wanted to have a big surprise for you, to…you know. Make up for this morning."
"Well, what? You can't blame a guy for trying."
"But you never try!" Leshawna said, turning around to face him. "Not until you've already messed up, anyway. Look at this place!" She waved a hand at the huge mess. "All the work you did in the last few hours just for---this. Don't you realize this could have all gone a lot smoother if, I don't know, you started on this party before today?"
"Hey! I---…and the others, I guess---worked our asses off here! I'm sorry it didn't turn out to your high standards, but---"
Leshawna threw up her hands. "You don't get what I'm saying at all!"
"Well, would you please just explain it, then?! JEEZ!"
"I'm saying I don't want you to forget my birthday in the first place!" Leshawna cried. "I don't care about some damn party! Even if you had managed to pull this off, I don't want some party you throw together at the last damn second just to apologize for screwin' up! I want you to not screw up in the first place! You wouldn't have needed to do anything to make me happy if you'd just remembered my birthday this morning!"
"Well, I'm sorry!" Duncan said, spreading out his hands. "I forgot!"
"You mean you don't care!"
"No, I mean I forgot! Just this once, I'm sorry, it slipped my mind!"
"It always slips your mind!"
"No it doesn't."
"Oh yeah?" She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. "What's our wedding anniversary?"
"Mm-hmm, that's what I thought. What about the first time we had sex?"
"Ah-HA!" Duncan said, pointing. "That one I know! It was July 13th!"
"Does it even occur to you that the first time we had sex was ON our wedding day?!" Leshawna screamed, throwing her hands up in the air.
"See?! This is what I mean! You have no trouble remembering something if it's important to you! You can't remember the day we got married, but you can remember the day we had sex. You can't remember my birthday, but you always remember yours. You can recite your favorite movies from memory, but you don't even listen when I tell you to take the damn trash out every night! It's really nice to see where I stand with you!"
Leshawna suddenly turned away again, but as she spun around Duncan could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes. When she spoke again, it was slow and angry, through clenched teeth, but shaking.
"I'm just sick of this, Duncan. I'm sick of you always screwing up and then just doing something to try to make it up to me. I'd rather have a simple 'Happy Birthday' in the morning then a thousand fool parties you could whip up for me. But it always just seems that you want to put me off and put me off until you have to deal with me. All I want is for you to give a damn, but you can't even do that."
Duncan's shoulders slumped while Leshawna sat with her arms crossed over her chest. It was a long minute before either of them broke the silence.
"Pffft. Yeah. Sure."
"No, seriously. I---" He kicked awkwardly at the floor again. "I didn't mean to…to make you feel…unimportant or anything. There's gotta be some way to make it up to you. I'll---tomorrow! Tomorrow is your new, honorary birthday. I'll---I'll wish you 'Happy Birthday' and make you a big breakfast and---we'll invite everybody back over---to help clean up this mess," he muttered out of the side of his mouth.
Leshawna scoffed. "I'd rather you just remember the actual date."
"I'll do that too! On my honor." Leshawna turned to him and raised an eyebrow. Duncan shrugged. "Alright---and someone more honorable than my honor. Seriously. I'll prove it to you by this July, how about that?" He wriggled his unibrow playfully. "I mean, you know I won't forget our Sexiversary."
Leshawna snorted despite herself. Then she sighed, picking up the rag she had been using to clean her face. "Damn I must look a mess," she muttered. "I can already feel the rash from those damn pineapple pieces around my eyes---my work clothes are ruined, my makeup's all running, I feel like I still got chocolate all over my face---"
"Uh, yeah, you missed a few spots."
"Where?" Leshawna brought the towel up to her face as Duncan approached.
"Right---here" He kissed her forehead "and here" he kissed her cheek "and…here…"
He pressed his lips against hers; she scowled slightly, but then allowed it. The two were still kissing as Leshawna rose to her feet, and they kissed all the way down the hall to their bedroom before sitting down on the bed.
When they finally pulled apart, Leshawna was smiling slightly, which made Duncan grin. "Happy birthday, Leshawna."
"Hmph. Thanks, Baby Boy."
He lay her head on his shoulder, and he stroked her back for a moment, smiling.
"Uh, Baby Boy?"
"Yes, my special birthday girl?"
"Where are all our sheets?"
Duncan sighed. "...You don't want to know."
Duncan learned to remember special occasions, at least to an extent. Granted, he couldn't actually remember what special occasions were coming up on which days, but he developed the habit of remembering when some date of significance was coming up and preparing for it in advance. As a result, Leshawna not only got Duncan to buy her presents for her birthday, wedding anniversary and Valentine's Day, but also started getting them on days like Arbor Day, Duncan's parents' anniversary, the anniversary of when Duncan got out of juvie and even Courtney's birthday.
Meanwhile, Courtney's husband Trent forgot her birthday that year and spent the next week sleeping on the couch.
Cody went back to his own apartment with Jasmine and paid his roommate, Noah, $100 so he could take his girlfriend Eva out for the night and leave the two of them alone. Unfortunately, Cody rushed him out so quickly that Noah didn't have time to grab his cell phone, keys or allergy medication, and Cody and Jasmine were too "distracted" to hear him banging on the door, screaming that he had accidentally eaten a cherry and needed his pills or he was going to *insert choking sound here.* Eva had to rush him to the hospital. She returned the next morning and finally got Cody to open the door, and then beat him mercilessly and made him pay for Noah's hospital bills.
Ezekiel, hearing about all this, used this as an opportunity to once again scold Cody on the moral issues of premarital sex. Unfortunately, this distracted him from his usual Izzy-watching duties, and during those five minutes he was distracted she caused approximately $10,000 worth of damages and attacked three men whom she claimed the "crazy Duncourt fangirls" had sent to spy on her. She then fled to Alaska and was missing for the next five weeks.
Tyler and Bridgette went home and made pasta for dinner. Unfortunately Tyler accidentally snuck up on Bridgette as she was cooking the noodles, causing her to spill the boiling water onto him. He spent the night sharing a hospital room with Noah.
Geoff and Lindsay wound up eloping to Vegas and got married by an Elvis impersonator before being captured by Neo-Nazi terrorists. Since neither of them actually appeared in this story, however, that's kind of a moot point, except that Izzy wound up rescuing them with a machine-gun wielding duck named Groucho, leading the American and Canadian governments to excuse most of her previous crimes.
A/N: Aaaaand that's the rather weird end. Next up I plan to finally start publishing that Ezekiel/Bridgette story of mine, plus deal with all those other stories I have going in various fandoms...oy. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed, especially you, Winter-Rae. Happy now-belated birthday again! And to everyone---please review!
(P.S.: Groucho the Duck is the property of the Kobold Necromancer and is used without permission. And everybody else is the property of Teletoons and is also used without permission. ...Is it odd that I care more about stealing the duck for one line than any of the others for the whole story? Hmm.)