Chapter 15: The Howling Part 2
Hello everyone once again! You know, I laughed at two of my reviews I got this chapter, because they both said the same thing - how stubborn I made Sasuke! I actually had one person say in all their years on fanfiction, they never saw someone make Sasuke so stubborn! I'm sorry if you guys don't like that, I just thought that's how the story fits. Thanks for all your reviews, guys, I love them! AND YES! I get to write a dialog for this chapter! Finally! :)
I didn't know what to do. I just had so many problems at once and I didn't know how to deal with them. I had to deal with Kiba. I had to deal with Kakashi on my back. I had an addiction. I had to get revenge yet I'm not strong enough yet. Not to mention, everyone`s expecting so much out of me with my sharingan is a lot of pressure.
You see, there is only so much one person can take. Imagine this - there is a person who is carrying too many things at once in his or her arms. So much, that he or she by accident drops all of them. This is just like any person. Except think of the items she's or he's carrying as problems. If a person has too many problems at once, sooner or later that person is going to drop them all and it`s a complete mess.
This is what happened to me. Too many problems all at once that just turned into once big mess. I just hope Kakashi can forgive me about how I clean up this mess.
KAKASHI`S POINT OF VIEW:
It`s been a few minutes since Sasuke and me had our little fight. I gave him a few minutes to calm down, maybe he will talk to me now. I doubted it, but it was worth a try.
I went to his room and knocked on his door. "Sasuke?"
When he didn't answer, I tried knocking again. "Sasuke?"
I opened the door, I wanted to make sure Sasuke was alright, even though it meant invading his privacy. I didn't find Sasuke though, making my heart pound and feel weak in the knees. Instead, I found a letter on his bed.
I know you don't understand and perhaps you never will. But I feel like I owe it to you to at least try to make you understand.
I'm tired of living, Kakakshi. There's just too much pain and suffering in life that in the end it's not worth living. Why live when I'm going to die sometime in life anyway? Doesn't that make my life mean nothing? I feel like there's nothing left in this world for me to keep on living.
I appreciate you trying to save me, Kakashi, but I hope you realize some people just can't be saved. I know you felt like it was your fault that this happened before, but believe me when I say it wasn't. It's all my fault, my heart can't take anymore.
I'm sorry I didn't write you a note to say good-bye last time I almost died, but I felt like there was nothing to say. Now that I thought about it, there was plenty to say, and you at least deserve a reason of why I'm doing this and a good-bye. Please try to understand. Everything in my life is going wrong, and I feel like it's not going to get any better. Kiba won't let me be and it's gotten to the point I realize he won't ever stop. I can't live with all these high expections of others. I can't live not being strong enough to kill Itachi. I just can't take it anymore. I think you're the only one who's going to care I'm dead. Sure, it may hurt for a while, but sooner or later you learn to cope with it and move on without me. I hope one day you can forgive me for taking one last fall.
Thanks for everything, Kakashi.
Oh my God, it's a suicide note! I read the last line for a second time. "I hope one day you can forgive me for taking one last fall." Does that mean he's going to jump?
I quickly poofed myself to the only cliff side in the village.
There, I saw Sasuke, dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. He was obviously thinking.
"Sasuke, please, think this over," I begged him.
He jumped a little, my voice startling him. I dared not going any closer to him, for I feared the might make him take the jump.
"Stay back, Kakashi." He warned.
"Sasuke, you really are going to leave me behind? You're just going to leave all of us behind so easily? What about us, you think we'll get over your death that easily? You're wrong, I'm not the only one who will care about your death. Naruto and Sakura will be devistated."
"They'll get over it."
"No, they won't. Please believe me, Sasuke."
I knew he could hear the panic in my voice. I knew I wasn't getting through to him.
"Thanks for everything."
He turned around to the cliff, lifted his arms up and jumped.
"SASUKE!" I screamed as I heard a sicking crack that I will forever remember.
TIME OF DEATH: Saturday, March 21, 8:31 A.M.
My heart hurt so much from crying so hard. Everyday, I wonder if there was any way I could have saved him. I had failed him. He was so young, he had his whole life ahead of him. Why did he have to end it himself? There was a chance his life could have gotten better. He was wrong about one thing, though. The whole village was in shock over his death and everyone was at his funeral, crying. If he knew the pain he caused all of us, he would have never have taken the jump. He has no clue how disturbed I've become seeing him take his life and being so helpless.
At first, Sasuke was giving off silent howls. No one hear his screams. Then, they turned into howling. Everyone now heard his screaming. Everyone saw his pain now. He now gave his pain to us. At least I hope he's finally at peace with himself.
SOME STUFF ABOUT THE STORY:
Hey everyone, darks here. I hope you enjoyed the story. The reason why I killed Sasuke is because I thought it would make the story more effective. Now, some stuff I wanted to say about the story:
1. Please remember the message behind the story. I wrote the story's meaning on most of my chapters. I want people to be more understanding about self-abusers. I AM NOT ENCOURAGING IT. Please remember there is help. You are not in this alone.
2. I'm not sure if you guys noticed, but on some dialogs, I wrote in past tense, as if this all ready happened and Sasuke's re-telling the story. I was going to write a sequel where Kakashi goes back in time to save him from killing himself(that's why I wrote the date and time on the story). But I decided it would be too similar so decided against it.
Thanks for reading and all the reviews! You guys are awesome! See you next time!