I don't know.

I've always loved this pairing. And imagining Gaara as a clueless type person always makes me smile.

I wrote this, yeah, but I don't own Naruto, sadly.

Damn it.

If I did, all the dudes would be shirtless and making out.

Gaara was not a man of many words. In fact, if it could be avoided, he spoke as little as possible. He never honestly knew why, but part of him had always urged him to keep his mouth shut.

Unfortunately for him, fate brought a delicious little taijutsu master by the name of Rock Lee into his life.

The recently made Kazekage sat at his desk, staring long and hard into nowhere; thinking.

"Is it too... desperate?" he asked himself. Well, of course it was. The guy WAS desperate. Desperate for anything that could explain what he couldn't understand.

He sighed in defeat. Okay. He was going to do it.

Rock Lee himself was in the area for the day to report back about a mission or some sort of situation. Gaara hadn't really been paying attention the details; all he cared about was that the one he daydreamed about was visiting HIM. And all that was on his mind was that this was the only chance he would get to tell him.. "it."

Gaara had feelings for older ninja for quite some time. But him being a man of few words, he had never gotten the chance or the confidence to tell of his undying love. But this was his chance. His time.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and pulled out the tape player. He carefully placed the tape into the machine and pressed play.

"Hello," said a soothing voice. Gaara noted that the voice was female. He had never quite trusted women. Something about them seemed... off. "and welcome to "Love Confessions and how to Say them.""-The poorly chosen title should have immediately turned Gaara away from this desperate idea, but as previously mentioned, he was, in fact, very, very desperate. " Throughout this tape, I will be instructing you on how to get your special someone to fall head over heels for you."

Gaara pressed the pause button, confused, conflicted, and a bit insulted. Head over heels? That wasn't right. He didn't want his one and only love to injure himself. No, that wouldn't do. What sort of monster would make their love feel pain? In a sudden flash, Gaara remembered his conversation with Kankuro about 'fetishes.' He had been young and curious. He had never expected his brother to go into such detail. A shiver went down Gaara's spine.

'Enough of that.' He told himself, shaking his head. His brother's lack of personal censorship should be brought up at another time. Now? He had Lee to focus on.

Time was running out, and he wanted his love to be spread today. So he prepared himself to ignore that part and let the cassette play again.

"Start by making yourself noticed. Make subtle suggestive comments and gradually give your soon-to-be lover the occasional kiss on the cheek. Be sure to leave them wondering and clueless afterwards."

Gaara heard a knock at the door. He inhaled deeply. Now was his chance.

"Yes?" He called out, his voice shakier than Sasuke after being force-fed chocolate cookies.

"Rock Lee is here to see you," A woman's voice replied, clearly not the harmonic sound Gaara had been hoping for.

The Kazekage decided at once that a kiss on the cheek was not going to work for the amount of time he had. It would have to be done all at once. As he opened the doors to the long hallway, he saw a familiar face sitting on a bench, admiring the high ceilings and scenery. When his dark yet innocent eyes fell upon the Kazekage, he felt his heart thump in his chest.

'Go for it,' he commanded himself, awkwardly taking a step forward. He proceeded to walk as if he were being controlled by a puppeteer, his movements unnatural out of pure nervousness.

"Gaara?" The kazekage felt every fibre of his being beg to be able to scream at Lee to keep saying his name. "You seem sick."

The redhead didn't reply. Instead, he wrapped his arms around the taller man in a quick, seductive manner. The leaf ninja's eyes widened, whether out of shock, fear or a possible oncoming sneeze, Gaara would never know.

When their lips connected, Gaara felt as if his entire body was floating on air. He then, despite how much he didn't want to, pulled away, not once looking back, and returned to his office.

Lee stood there, completely dazed, wondering, 'Was Gaara kissing me on purpose?'

Meanwhile, in the office, Gaara was ready for his next step. He felt a new found confidence. It was as if his manliness had increased by fifty percent. Gaara had never pondered his manliness level before, but he decided that it would be rather high.

Gaara's finger pressed the play button once again, sending the soothing voice back into his ears. "Once your love interest has become aware of you, give them a gift. Nothing too expensive, for that will drive them away. Think simple. Maybe flowers? A flower can go a long way. Just for added effect, throwing the flower at your love, gently of course, will make them even happier."

'Flour?' he thought to himself. 'is that really what Lee would like?'

Gaara decided that the soothing voice was most likely correct, and so he started his search for flour. He searched his office, but there was no sign of his perfect gift. There was only one place he knew would have flour.

The kitchen.

Gaara re-opened the big doors, revealing his beloved Lee, standing exactly where he had been before, eyes still wide. If he had been waiting for a sneeze, it was obviously a very slow one.

Gaara walked right past his love. He was determined to retrieve Lee's perfect gift. Nothing would get in his way. Not even Lee himself.

As he headed down the stairs towards the kitchen, Lee was left in the hall, still very much confused. He could find no sane reason as to why Gaara was acting this way. Or as to why he had kissed him.

Oh, right. Gaara had kissed him. The entire idea of someone as attractive as Gaara kissing him just didn't seem to make sense. The two things, Gaara and kissing, they didn't connect. Perhaps it was all a misunderstanding. It must have been. What else would explain it?

In between all of the ninja's thoughts, Gaara had returned. In his hand he held a large, ten pound sack of flour.

"Um... Gaara?"

The younger boy didn't respond. He stared at Lee as if he were a lone elk and Gaara had the hunting rifle.

A caring, pink rifle filled with love and candy heart-shaped bullets, of course. Gaara would never aim any form of weapon towards Lee.

"Gaara what are you doing?"

He reached into the sack of flour.


He grabbed a fistful of the powder.

"What... what are you do-"

He chucked the flower at Lee. It hit him dead on in the face. "AH!"

The sound that emitted out of his true love made Gaara blush. The mixture between a moan and a yelp was a bit too much for the younger of the two. But, like any other man in love, he worked through it.

Another fistful of flour went flying through the air. No good. This would take him ages!

So he decided to move closer to Lee.

Lee's face got warm. He couldn't help but think it. Was he going to kiss him again? Would he get to feel his warm lips one more time?

His hopeful thoughts were met by white being poured over his head. The sack was completely empty once Gaara had finished. He kept the paper sack in his hands as he returned to his office.

Rock Lee was completely clueless. He wondered if maybe this would all make sense to someone who was more intelligent. Perhaps Lee was starting to reach Naruto's level of stupidity.

Gaara, on the other hand, was feeling rather proud of himself. Lee would finally get the message that he loved him. He pressed play on the tape once more.

"Now that they have a hint of your feelings, it's time you get serious." Gaara thought he was already serious enough, but clearly the expert was the tape, not himself. "Maybe it's time you display your affection in a more mature sense." The voice on the tape laughed. "Maybe it's time you-hehe- reach in and grab their 'buns.' Nothing says 'I like you' better than a good squeeze!"

What? Buns?

Gaara was dumbfounded. Lee had buns? Where? In his pockets?

Perhaps he had carried a bag with him. Yes, that must have been it. His lunch! Of course! How could Gaara be so blind?

The doors opened once more.

"Gaara," Lee started, very confused and very oblivious as to what was going on. "I want to know why you-"

"Where is it?" Gaara demanded.

"....Where is what? Gaara what is happening?"

"I need to squeeze your buns! The tape said I had to squeeze your buns now tell me where your lunch is!"

Lee was going to question the first part, but mentioning of a tape intrigued him more. "Tape? What tape?"

Gaara was too distracted looking for Lee's lunch to pay attention to what he was saying. "The tape. The tape that told me how to say that I love you. I can't find your buns. You have a lunch, don't you? Where is it?"

Lee couldn't believe his ears.

Gaara couldn't believe Lee didn't have a lunch.

I can't believe it's not butter.

"You... you love me?"

Gaara stopped looking. The sudden feeling that he just ruined his chances with Lee surfaced. The cat was out of the bag. That was it. Game over.

"I feel the same way!"

"You want to squish my lunch too?"

"Wha-?" Lee decided it wasn't the time to question him. "Yes!"

Gaara couldn't believe how happy he was.

Lee couldn't believe he was there, covered in flour, standing in front of someone he loved and who loved him back.

I still can't believe it's not butter.

So that was the end. Lee had Gaara, and Gaara had Lee. They were perfect for each other. No questions asked. Well, except for one.

"Why do you want to squish my lunch, Gaara?"