The Godtrix

You are probably a moron so you've never thought about this, or worse, you did but following your hideous disease(moronism) you never reached a meaningful conclusion.

You probably haven't even asked yourself how I, Perseus Rudolph Jackson know you're a moron. Or why my middel name is Rudolph suddenly. The answer is simple: You're not me. And your hairstyle is stupid. (You might want to repeat the phrase Rudolph suddenly. It sounds kinda cool.

Now, just what is this you've never thought about? It's rather simple. Where do the gods get their power from? Why don't they die? Are they inexhaustible sources of energy? Of course, being the keen learning chap I am (Sarcasm you fools!) I went straight up to Zeus and asked him.

At mount Olympus:

"Hey Zeus." I causally, sexily. "Just where do the Gods get their power from?"

"Stop being so God damn curious." said Zeus, kicking me off the mountain. He paused as he saw some rather odd looking mountaineers climbing to the top of his mountain. "GET OFFA MY MOUNTAIN!" he yelled, and threw them with lightning. Lightning? Lightning can't be thrown! Nor can it just be grasped from the air! Just what is going on here???

Camp Half Blood:

Of course, this shocking event totally changed me. Or not. Look, I'm a hero okay? When I notice something suspicious I'm supposed to be all like "I'm gonna go check it out and deal with it", okay? It's what I do.

I racked my brains. I slept with books under my pillow and hoped to gain knowledge from them. I tried various desperate tactics, even stooping as low as to ask Annabeth what she thought.

"Hey Annabeth." I said, covered from head to toe in gangster wear. I wanted to conform you see. "Where do the Gods get their power from?"

"They're Gods Percy." she said slowly, probably to allow me more time to imagine her doing to me what she really wanted to do to me, but couldn't cause we didn't have access to a checkers set at the moment.

Suddenly, I paused and considered her answer. "Typical Christian." I said, shaking my head and stomping off, ignoring the screams of anguish that were behind me. I nodded at my bros in the camp , and wondered…just what would I do?

That's when it hit me…air guitar. I would play air guitar. I started promptly earning me a few dozen new phone numbers, judging from the looks I received. One particularly fine girl walked up to me.

"You're a freak right?" she asked, calmly suggesting it was opposite days, because both her body and her tone said "No." to my increasingly sexual movements.

"Of course." I said, because as I may have mentioned, the poor girl thought it was opposite day.

"K…well, this guy in my cabin could violently raped to death by his gardener, so we're distributing his stuff. Do you want to buy this movie from me?" She held out a Dvd, which I didn't really wanna look at.

"Sure." I said, fumbling for my wallet in my hoodie. "Would 100 000 million dollars cover it?" I said, holding out a thick wad of notes.

She stared, obviously noticing my hoodie for the first time. "Why do you have so many Zimbabwe dollars?" she asked, noting the currency I carried.

Shit. "Okay…five regular dollars." I said, handing it to her.

"Deal." she said, unfortunately not noticing that I wrote my number on all my money for just such an occasion. Never mind. She'd find out.

I walked to the Big House, intent on watching the Dvd I bought. The matrix huh?


Oh God.

Oh God.

It's so obvious now! This is a fake reality! In the real, reality, we are kept in tubes, and drained as a source of energy for the Gods! Those bastards!

My rage at this knew no bounds…whatever brave soul made this movie is probably dead now, murdered by the gods, his corpse in some sewer or brothel…wait, no. His corpse is probably still in a tube. We are not tube people!

In my great rage, I yelled very loudly and grabbed several wires, jamming them into the tv, fully intent on plugging into the matrix.

And that's the story of how Percy Jackson electrocuted himself.