This fic was inspired by the fact Turk likes to beat J.D. in silly and stupid games, so I decided to base it on the board game "The Simpson's game of life" its based on a real run-through, I won't bore you to death with the full rule book just to say that the story WILL follow the rules as they are written down... and will be explained where required
Disclaimer:- I own nothing of this story, except the sequence of moves made (and they could be replicated in any real game I suppose, but to be able to replicate them exactly as this story has them would be the longest of long-shots), any complaints and I set Ted on you, and you really don't want that!!
Note:- Italics is the named person thinking in his/her head
Setting:- Turk and Carla's apartment, Season 6 (after Kim lied about the miscarriage, but before the medical conference in Phoenix, so Kim is still Pregnant, J.D. has no idea, and she won't be making an appearance)
J.D.:- Down the years, Turk and I have played some pretty silly games, steak, ankles, throw a hat on rowdy etc, and they always end the same way, with Turk winning... so when I spotted a copy of the Simpson's version of the "game of life" in a closing down sale yesterday, I knew I had to get it, 20 Dollars down to just 7 Dollars 50 Cents?? SOLD!!
Having got it out the box and read the rule sheet, set up the board as it should be, J.D. told Turk it was game time "Ok I'll be the green car" said Turk... "and I suppose you'll go with blue?" he asked JD "sure... ok, one of us is gonna have to be banker"
Elliot, looking for Carla, walked through the door
"hey guys, you seen Carla?" "she's at the hospital, Izzy is asleep in her cot in the bedroom, and we have the night off" said Turk" you playing a new game??" "Simpson's game of life" said Turk, "just about to start" "Coolio" responded Elliot, then she noticed the bankers tray on the table with the game money in the slots. "Hey, Can I be the bank?? I used to be the bank when I played monopoly at College with the girls..."
"Sure why not?" said JD "we both need 10 thousand each to start, those are the yellow notes" in explanation "OK said Elliot, picking out 2 yellow slips and handing 1 each to JD and Turk, "what next?"
"Shuffle the deck of career cards, and I'll pick 1 said Turk followed by the salary card, if the salary is the same colour as 1 of the colour strips either side of the symbol, then I get that salary every time I pass or land on a green payday space, ok"
"Got it" Elliot said as she flicked through the career cards "ok, 2 of these require the educational degree route, you guys going to go that rout or get a job straight off??"
"so what's the benefits of the education?" asked Turk "you can take any job, but you have to pay off your hundred thousand dollar loan with 25 per-cent interest before the end of the game..." explained Elliot
JD weighed up the options, and considered what to do, "I'm going to get a job straight off, first time of playing the game, learning the ropes etc" Turk decided the same route as well, so Elliot removed the cards for the posts of Mayor and Doctor, shuffled them again, and offered Turk first choice.
Turk Drew the police officer card and then drew a very nice salary card… the text being in red, matched so that was acceptable "80 thousand on payday, land on a tax space and I owe 35 thousand, oh yeah and no spinning a 10 JD, or you owe me 10 thousand, and I will collect"
JD drew the personal assistant card, and then twinned it with the rather nice salary of $90,000 on pay day "40 grand tax!!, whoa!!, but I can collect the yellow salary card when I have 4 life tiles, trade them in for that card"
"What's that cards salary Elliot??" asked Turk in a voice that conveyed apprehension…
"one hundred thousand dollars on pay day but the tax is a whopping 45"
"Sounds good" said J.D. "but lets see if I get those life cards first"
Turk:- "Ouch, 100 grand is gonna kill my chances if he gets it quick, nothing I can do, but sit and bide my time, maybe land on a blue space and swap salaries, its optional, but with that amount on the line, its not an option, I HAVE TOO!!"
"Ok" said Elliot, "time to spin to see who goes first, bigger number out of 10 on the spin gets it, if you tie then we go again"
JD span the spinner and landed on a 4… what will Turk spin?? The dial spun round and stopped at 9… "so, Turk goes first"
Turk span a 3, passed a pay day space, and landed on a bonus space "mother becomes fugitive, leaves you 10 thousand " Elliot handed him an orange 100 thousand note, and he handed her back the 10 he has started with.
J.D. started off with a 5, "double payday and a life card, that's number 1"
Elliot handed him his 180 thousand in game money plus a life tile, face down as he went to turn it over, Elliot advised him not to "you find out what they are worth at the end of the game, not before"
Turk reached over and span a 4 "pay day and my first life card"
Elliot counted out another 80,000 and picked a random life tile, and handed them over.
J.D. started his next turn by buying a car insurance slip for 10 thousand "protects me from forking out if I land on a space that has a pay up if not insured" and then span a 4, "become mob gopher, sell story to Hollywood, collect 10,000" Elliot handed him back the note he had used to by the car insurance "so basically you just got free car insurance out of that" she noted… "Yeah, just the way it lands some days
Turk then span and got a 7, payday, wedding "at least you showed up on time for this one" says JD with a smirk. Turk Collected his 2nd life card, he span again at this point as in the rule book, and got a 1, "Motorcycle gang swoops spouse, pay 10K ransom, my Puerto Rican princess would be worth every cent I had" Elliot pointed out "Turk, she's Dominican!!" "I know. Just seeing if you were awake" there was a silence for a moment, "I doubt Carla would see it that way" said Elliot
J.D. then had his next go and span a 7, and stopped to get married, "Maybe 1 day, but not any time soon J.D," Elliot said "anyway you have a pay day and a 2nd life card she said" handing over the readies, "oh yeah and spin again" J.D. obliged with a 7, "pay day again" AWESOME…. thought J.D. to himself
Turk was hoping for a good number but only got a 1, "life card number 3, leave extra spouse behind in Vegas, you know all about Vegas, right J.D.??"
"Yeah, and now I have flashbacks whenever I hear ABBA's dancing queen or here it goes again by OK Go nowadays… I will always associate those 2 songs with that road trip from hell…"
With that, J.D. span a 5, stops to buy a house, Elliot shuffled the desk of house deed cards, J.D. picked 1 from each end and turned them over "the crone condo at 80K or the yokel shack at 40K, insurance is 25% of cost of house, so 20 grand on the condo and only 10 on the shack" he noted, he thought about it for a few seconds "Re-sell value is higher on the condo, I'll take that and insure it for a full 100 grand" handing Elliot 2 green notes (50,000 each), she routed out a home insurance slip and handed that over as well… on his next move, J.D. landed an 8 and sped down the track, a pair of pay days made him a his money back on the house and insurance and a bit more, a 3rd life card, and then he read the space he had landed on, he was now the father of TWINS!!
"Fraternal boy/girl twins ok with you JD?" asks Elliot passing him 1 pink 1 blue peg...
"Yeah, sure, sounds good, I'm just sorry that Kim lost the baby, I was looking forward to possibly meeting Sam Perry Gilligan Dorian"
"Sam after your dad, Perry??" asked Elliot "I just like the sound of the name" J.D. stated
Plus it will honor my mentor, Dr Perry Cox, even if he doesn't like Hugh Jackman!!
"And Gilligan cause you lost that bet to me in med school, J.D." said Turk
"and Gilligan, cause as Turk rightly said, I lost that bet"
"Anyways" said Turk as he span a 5 "payday please Elliot"
J.D. was way in front and then span a 1, the symbol on the space matched the "servant with drink on a tray" symbol his own, "pay 20,000 dollars, hang its my symbol", he checked the rule sheet, and then announced "ok no money needs to change hands".
Turk span a 2 "get run over by a millionaire, collect 50k" Elliot handed Turk a 50 thousand note, and then went to get a glass of water from the kitchen
J.D. then hit a spot of bad luck and span a 10, Turk was on it like a pack of ducks being fed fresh bread "10 grand please" J.D. "damn it!!" he exclaimed, Elliot sat back down with a glass of water on the table next to her "Elliot, split this for a pair of 10's" he said, handing her a pink 20 thousand, she put it back in the tray and gave J.D. and Turk $10,000 each) "but on the bright side that's another pay day and a life card, replace snowball one with snowball 2" this was a 4th life card, he counted them up and then said "yellow salary card please Elliot", handing over all 4 life tiles and his 90k salary card.
"Oh great, here we go, I always beat J.D., and now I'm at an even bigger disadvantage"Thought Turk
Turk span a 4, and finally got to the point where he could buy a house, then realized "I need car insurance, so I'll buy that as well" once again Elliot fanned out the cards and Turk selected 2, he got a choice of the yokel shack or the nuclear family home, finally settling on the nuclear family home for $100,000 along with $25,000 insurance, the total with 2 insurance policies came to $135,000, he handed Elliot the sum of $150,000 getting $15,000 change, his house and car insurance slips and house deed card…
Turk span again, and landed a 7, he counted them off and picked up a double pay packet of $160,000
The game was getting competitive now, even though J.D. was leading,
he knew Turk could catch him fast, and the outcome could change in a heartbeat...
So that's the end of chapter 1… I will be finishing it off in probably 3 chapters, we will see….