Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or anything associated with it. I do own Senzo, however.
Chapter One: Of Hair and Explanations
"Shunsui…" he warned. "Please don't do that. You're going to make us miss class again!" He pushed his roommate away from him and started to get up.
"Come on, Juushiro! This is a must every morning. There's no way you can argue your way out of this! Just think; you don't want to disappoint the fangirls, do you?" Shunsui coaxed.
"Neither of us have fangirls. You have admirers and I have friends and this isn't going to change their attitudes toward either of us in the least." he retorted. "Now for the last time let me up and get your fingers out of my hair!" Juushiro twisted around and pulled his hair out of the younger man's grip before getting to his knees and using Shunsui's shoulder as a support for getting up. He walked over to the full-length mirror that they shared and frowned. Shunsui had mussed it up again. He'd have to give it a quick run-though with a comb before leaving.
Shunsui watched his friend get up and then started when he heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?" he called.
"Just me. You know, your friendly little next-door neighbor who's had to listen to you two getting it on all morning. Yup, just me." a voice answered.
"You know, for some reason whenever I hear your voice I get the strangest feeling. You ever get it, Shunsui? That one where you just want to destroy something?" Juushiro replied casually. "Might as well let the brat in though."
Shunsui walked the three feet to the door and pulled it open, allowing their younger classmate to walk in. "Welcome to our humble abode, young student. What may I do for you today?"
"Cut the bullshit, Kyouraku-senpai. We have five minutes to get to the other end of the school in time for our first class because somebody decided to waste time by tying their roommate's hair into a knot. I swear, haven't you learned yet? Ukitake-senpai is insane about his hair," the boy complained. His name was Kuchiki Senzo and he was a year younger than the two. They had struck up a friendship after Shunsui had offered him a congratulations-on-entering-the-academy drink and he had dumped it on Shunsui's head. Juushiro immediately took a liking to him for refusing the alcohol and Shunsui was just glad the boy gave the extra drink back to him…albeit in a very unusual way.
"Yeah, you would think I would have learned by now. But it's just fun getting him on his toes." Shunsui replied, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
"I swear, Shunsui, one of these days you are going to get him so frustrated that he's just gonna start coughing on you. Now put that comb down, senpai, and grab your stuff. Your hair's fine. We kinda need to go!" Senzo took hold of Shunsui's sleeve and dragged him through the door, Juushiro following close behind.
Shunsui sighed and let himself be towed along, deciding that he'd just have to finish braiding Juushiro's hair in class where his friend couldn't make a scene.
"God, Shunsui. You never give up, do you?!" Juushiro glared, exasperated. "Fine. You can do it today but no more messing with it later! You get one chance!"
"Oh, great! You finally gave in! This is a good sign. Maybe there'll be more for me later!" Shunsui chuckled quietly, tying off the Juushiro's braid with a small length of white ribbon. Senzo, who was sitting right next to them, rolled his eyes at their antics.
"I know you're trying to keep up your relationship, but could you please tone it down! I'm trying to listen here!" he whispered.
"Ah, and here comes the good old Kuchiki mentality," Shunsui grinned. "'I have to study! I have to listen to the teacher!' Seriously, how many people in this class right now do you think are actually listening and taking notes? I count two. You and Juu over here. Out of a hundred. That's two percent! Just stop already!"
"I see you do actually pay attention to the math teacher, Shunsui. That's unexpected." Juushiro commented, not taking his eyes off the teacher.
"Do not! Why do we need math anyway? It's so pointless. Nobody uses it anyway. And before you start giving me a scenario where I would need it, don't. I like thinking I'm right." Shunsui argued.
"That we know. Now be quiet! I can't hear the teacher. When did he say the test was?" Senzo asked.
"Tomorrow," Juushiro answered. "He said it would be tomorrow and it would be on the politics of the Sereitei. Hmph. That means I'm going to have to stay up late tonight tutoring Shunsui. Great."
"Oh, it couldn't be that bad. He does listen sometimes." Senzo replied.
Juushiro rolled his eyes. "Try saying that after three hours of attempting to explain to your drunken roommate why Yamamoto-sensei became Soutaicho instead of Jingezura-taicho - during which your roommate is requesting even more sake, as well as…other things that I can't go into in public."
"Ooooh! Ohmygod! Did you hear that?" One of the girls sitting a few seats away from them shrieked. "Other things! Aaah! I can't believe it! Don't you just love them!" She promptly proceeded to faint from overwhelming joy.
"Hey! Uri-san! I know it's amazing, but you can't faint! You'll miss the rest of it!" one of her friends shook her, trying to bring her back to consciousness.
"Ukitake. Kyouraku. While I do not care what activities you may indulge in outside of class, please keep them outside of class. I cannot have my students fainting while I teach them," the teacher recited in a monotone before going back to reading out of their textbook.
A new student a few rows away turned to his classmate and asked, "He sounds like he's said that a hundred times. Why is he so lenient about something like that? Relationships aren't allowed in school. Right?"
The boy sitting next to him answered, "He probably sounds like he's said that a hundred times because he's said it a hundred times. Probably more, actually. The teachers stopped trying after the first year. And we can't do anything about it because they have a devoted following of fangirls who won't let anyone near them besides that Kuchiki kid. And the only reason they let him through is because they think he's the 'third wheel' in their relationship. You'll get used to it. Still pisses the rest of us off, though." He slumped down and rested his chin on his desk, staring at the teacher. "You'll wanna put your books away; class is almost over and there'll be a mad rush for the door."
The three friends decided to go back to their dorms for lunch to study in some peace and quiet. Senzo and Juushiro, at least. Shunsui just wanted a nice long drink. Walking into Juushiro's and Shunsui's room, the three dropped their bags and sat down.
"I'll get some tea and snacks," Juushiro sighed, pushing himself up again. "You guys discuss the predicament. I'm too tired already."
"Alright then. Thanks, Juu," Shunsui replied. "Senzo, when we originally started the Academy there were girls besieging us everywhere with confessions and proposals to do this or that. We decided we needed some space, and since neither of us cared about our reputations all that much-"
"Shunsui, you don't have a reputation. All you do is drink your head off." Juushiro interrupted sarcastically.
"Why, thanks, old friend. I was talking about the Kyouraku family reputation, not my personal, apparently-non-existent one." Shunsui replied, annoyed. "But to go on, both of us needed a little space - and decided that we should act like we were in a relationship together. That way, the girls would stop crowding around us." He paused.
Juushiro walked over with the tea and continued where Shunsui had left off. "Unfortunately, we were too blind to realize that the girls would become more interested in our relationship than ever before - apparently they are rabid for gay relationships - and we fell into the tight spot between a rock and a hard space. The girls were more fanatical than ever before - albeit from a little farther away; they stopped confessing to us - and we couldn't back out of the relationship because then we'd start getting confessions again…and this time, from both genders. We've been stuck here ever since first year, and while we don't care what people think of us here, we'd rather not have this continue through graduation. We only have this year to clear this whole deal up, and we need to figure out what to do now." he finished. "Got any ideas?"