Shut Up and Drive
by pari106

Disclaimer: Not mine; Rating: PG; Code: M/L

Summary: Based on the country western song "Shut Up and Drive" (whose song it is I
can't remember! But, needless to say, again, it's not mine). Sometime in the near future;
Max's thoughts after telling Logan it's over.

Shut Up and Drive
by pari106

Some lyrics from "Shut up and Drive":

Shut up and drive

You don't know what you're talking about.
He's not the one.
You oughtta know that by now.
You've got one of those hearts
that keeps changing your mind.
Your heart has a way
of making you stay.

Shut up and drive.

Don't look in the mirror.

He might have that look in his eyes.
The one that's so strong
it strangles your will to survive.
He's mastered the art
of looking sincere.
His eyes have a way
of making you stay.

Don't look in the mirror.

I'm the voice you never listen to
and I had to break your heart to make you see
that he's the one who will be missing you
and you'll only miss the man
you wanted him to be.

Turn the radio on.

To drown out the sound of goodbye.
Hold back the tears.
Show me you've still got your pride.
Just get yourself lost
in a sad country song.
Those guys that they play
know just what to say.

Turn the radio on…

Shut up and drive…Don't look in the mirror…Turn the radio on…

Get outta here.

**** ****

Just shut up and drive, Max.

You left Logan for a reason. A good one. You just aren't' meant to be. Forget about
what you thought you were. You used to think a lot of things, didn't you? Used to think
Zack would always be there. Never thought you'd see Ben's face again…or that it
wouldn't be his when you did. Never thought some puny little blonde, who can't fight
worth shit, would turn out to be the biggest threat to your happiness. You thought you
and Logan were…like…fate.

You should know by now that that's wrong. Forget how much you wanted it to be true.
How much you wanted to love him. How much you wanted fate to be on your side. If
you and he were fated…then why does fate keep tearing you apart?

No, Logan isn't right for you? Leaving is right. You'd have known that all along, if only
you'd listened to reason instead of your heart and all its silly notions. 'Sentimental lies',
right? That's what Zack called them. If you'd listened to Zack, perhaps it wouldn't hurt
so bad to leave now. If you'd listened to Zack the night of the raid, perhaps you'd be
leaving with him. Instead you let your heart lead you into saving Brin, and you got your
heart shot to pieces in the process.

But it was all for the best. You didn't listen to Zack…you didn't have a soldier's heart
like his. The kind that could just walk away. But you do now. You have Zack's heart.
That should make a difference. That should make it easier to leave. You *can* leave,

So shut up and drive.

Don't look back.

You can do this, but it's gonna take commitment. You can't do this half-ass; you have to
go all the way. You can't just leave for a day, or a week. It has to be for good. You
can't come back. You can't tell yourself you're just gonna work with Eyes Only; that
you'll just be friends. You know that'll never work. And you know Logan will never be
able to move on like that. *You'll* never be able to move on like that. He'll flash those
baby blue eyes at you… The eyes you'll still see, every now and then, on the television
screen, framed by streaming freedom video feeds. The eyes you'll still see in your
dreams much more often… And it'll all be over. Right or wrong…sentimental lie or
simple truth… One look and you'll be hooked all over again. Logan has the kind of
power over you you can't take lightly. You've got to leave, Max. Now. And leave fast.

And you can't look back.

Go find some music. Go to a bar; to Crash. Where you can lose yourself in the noise and
the crowd and the facelessness of Seattle's nightlife. You can hear your pager *and*
your cell ringing in your pack… You know it's Logan. So don't answer. Go find some
music. Hum to yourself. Something…*anything*. Just don't think of answering his
call. There's nothing left to say. Good-byes are way overrated, and way too dangerous
to your state of mind right now. Ignore your pager…dump the cell…go find some music
and forget about them. Forget about *him*.

You're doing great, Max. Sector nine…sector ten…

Just keep going. See…it's not so hard. Not so bad, walking away from Logan. With all
his damned heroic ideals and that oh-so-reasonable attitude that drives you crazy. With
his beautiful blue eyes and his emotional baggage… With his suicidal tendencies and his
huge heart. With Asha just waiting there in the wings… Nope, not hard at all.

…sector nine…

You're doing great. Not looking back; revving your baby, you practically fly. You don't
even need music; you don't need a crowd. The roar of the engine is the only sound you
need to soothe your nerves, and the only company you require is your thoughts. You
don't have to look back…you're too busy looking forward. Looking forward to your
destination. You know you'll feel better when you get there.

You're doing great…

Except for one thing. You're going the *wrong* way. Why the hell are you headed
*back* to Foggle Towers?

You're hopeless, Max. Just don't say I didn't warn you…

Okay, I'll shut up now.