Waking up with a hangover that could have easily felled a giant--if he could find a giant and magically transfer his hangover to it-- was not fun. Less fun was the angel sitting on the end of his bed, staring at him with a decidedly un-angelic grin.
"The fuck're you doin' here?" Dean asked, propping himself up slowly on his elbows. "Where's Cas?"
"According to you blood bags," Uriel said, "it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding."
"Wha-" was all Dean got out before Uriel grabbed him by the arm and suddenly they were somewhere else. A very hot somewhere that smelled like flowers and booze. "Did you just kidnap me?"
"I am holding you to your commitment, Winchester," Uriel said, disappearing. Dean took in his surroundings, dirty off white walls and a large wooden door with a plaque that read 'The King's Chapel.' Why would they plop him down in the middle of a freaking chapel?
Uriel reappeared a few feet to his right, dragging Sam by the ankle.
"Dean? What the hell is going on?" Sam asked, as Uriel disappeared yet again.
"Beats me," Dean said, standing. Sam followed suit. They walked up to the chapel door and Dean pushed it open a fraction.
"Don't do that," Uriel said, reappearing with a very pissed-off looking Bobby.
"Bobby?" Sam and Dean asked at the same time.
"What the hell am I doing here?" Bobby asked, glaring at the brothers.
"Someone needs to give him away," Uriel said, grinning wickedly.
"What?" All three humans yelled at the same time. Uriel grinned wider.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, boy," the angel said, looking at Dean. He put a hand on Sam's shoulder and steered him towards the chapel.
"Where are you taking me?" Sam asked, Uriel didn't answer. Judging from the skid marks Sam's feet left on the floor as he tried to break Uriel's grasp, the angel was putting all his strength into getting Sam into the chapel.
"Just go with'im, boy," Bobby said gruffly. Sam huffed and stopped actively resisting, but didn't help Uriel drag him along. They stepped into the chapel, Uriel positioning his body so Dean and Bobby couldn't see around him.
"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Dean asked.
"Nope, but I have a bad feelin'," Bobby replied, looking at Dean uneasily.
A youngish blonde woman with glasses came out of the chapel, walking briskly, like she needed to be somewhere right now. She walked up to Dean and Bobby, looked them over once, Dean in his sweats and Bobby in his plaid, made a 'huff' noise and said "well, it could be worse."
"What could be worse?" Dean asked, hoping-- but not expecting-- for someone to tell him what the fuck was going on.
"You two hicks," she said, not insultingly, more like she was stating a fact. Before Dean could take offence, she grabbed Dean's right arm and Bobby's left, looping them together. Then she walked around them and, hand on each of their backs, pushed them into the chapel. The doors parted before them with the low whoosh of automatic hinges, treating Dean to a very interesting sight.
A red carpeted isle with pews on either side, the right side filled with people sitting very stiffly, and the left empty. Sam stood just to the left of the altar, in his sleep clothes, with bed hair sticking up in the back. Castiel and Uriel stood to the right of Sam, on the other side of the altar, Castiel looking oddly skinny without his trenchcoat.
And Elvis. Skinny Elvis, with leather pants and a very unnatural pompadour, elbows propped on the altar, apparently chatting with Uriel.
All the people, and the two angels, and Sam, and Elvis, turned to look as Dean and Bobby arrived, arms linked.
"Bobby..." Dean whispered out of the corner of his mouth.
"I think we best start walkin'," Bobby whispered back. Dean nodded jerkily and they started a slow march up the isle, no music to accompany them, but everyone staring in a way that made Dean's skin crawl.
Uriel was grinning. Sam was trying to look comforting, but mostly looked confused. Cas was looking down. Elvis smirked.
Dean reached the altar and Bobby let go of his arm. The blonde woman manhandled him into an empty pew on the left.
"Dean Winchester," Elvis said in a Texan drawl.
"Elvis," Dean replied, because it honestly could not have been weirder at that point.
"Actually," Elvis said, smirk widening, "I prefer Hadraniel. Angel o' love, and all." Dean blinked. This had to be some random ass dream, right? "Anyway, enough with the introductions. We got ourselves a weddin' to perform."
"A what?" Dean and Sam asked at the same time.
"Unless I got some bad information, there was a proposal made," Elvis--err, Hadraniel-- said lightly. Dean was about to protest, but a fuzzy half-drunk memory stopped him. He had asked Castiel to marry him. He had asked Cas to marry him.
No more drinking. Ever.
Castiel was oddly silent, looking at and area around Dean's bare feet.
"Dean Winchester," Hadraniel belted, "do you take Castiel to be your angel? Do you promise to love, honor and protect Castiel, forsaking all others?"
"Uh..." Dean said.
"Do you take him in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"
"Wait a second here..." Dean said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I told you he did not want this," Castiel said, staring at Hadraniel. "May I leave now?"
"C'mon, little brother," Hadraniel pleaded. "We can't have a weddin' without the groom."
"Wait! Since when am I the chick?"
"Since Castiel didn't have a father figure to give him away, boy."
"Why are you even here Uriel? Don't you have some puppies to smite?"
"Fellas, not in the chapel!"
A glass vase shattered suddenly.
"Enough," Castiel said, glaring at them. He turned and marched back up the isle. Dean, after a second of what the fuck just happened, followed. He had gotten the angel in this mess after all...
"Cas," Dean said, walking out of the chapel on Castiel's heels, the door clicking closed behind them. The angel kept walking. "Cas!" Castiel stopped suddenly and turned to face Dean. He did not look happy. Dean gulped.
"Dean," Castiel said, looking down. "I am sorry."
"I did not wish to involve my... siblings in this," he fingered Dean's ring, still on his ring finger. He started to pull it off.
"Dude, I gave you that," Dean said indignantly. "The least you can do is keep it." Castiel let go of the ring, letting it settle back on his hand.
"If I keep it, then we are engaged," Cas said solemnly.
Castiel ducked his head, but before he did, Dean could swear he saw a tiny smile, too small for normal people to notice.
So, yeah, maybe he was a giant sap, and a soon to be married giant sap, but that was totally worth it.
"Boys," Hadraniel yelled, cracking the door, "don't consummate the weddin' in the hall, that's what the rooms are for!" There was a roar of uncomfortable laughter that Dean could only assume was Bobby.
Dean and Castiel walked back into the chapel.