Having no reviews makes me a saaaaad panda. LOL just kidding; hopefully I can end this spoof on a…well, spoofy note. But in order to get to the spoofy-ish part, you have to read the beginning. There's a twist! Yay!

Thanks, gracias, grazie, etc. to everyone who has read the spoof, to those who have taken the time to review, etc It's funny to think how this started as a way to keep my roomie & I sane (and awake) while studying for the end of the semester and turned into something really cool to do. Too bad she's also home for the summer…..282 miles away from my house! But it's all good because we'll be reunited next month into our new APARTMENT (goodbye, dorm living!) and will probably have a little bit of time to create some more evil genius ideas before the semester really gets starting.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything besides my crazy ideas & the laptop from which I write. At least I own that much!

Scene 25: Bella's Hospital Room

Bella is lying in a hospital bed & waking up when Drs. Chase & Taub walk into her room

Bella: Chase, Taub, please tell me the truth…..did Edward die?

*Bella begins sobbing*

Chase: Um, mate, who is Edward?

Bella: What do you mean "who is Edward?" He's my boyfriend, you dumbass!

Taub: We have no clue who you're talking about

Bella: Hello? He hallucinated that he was a vampire & it turned out he had skin cancer that spread to his brain? Just like the chick from "Grey's Anatomy"? He was told that he had seven days to live by Howie Mandel? I've been here since he was admitted.

*Foreman walks in for no apparent reason*

Foreman: Bella, do you know how long you have been here?

Bella: I lost track of time, but I've been here with Edward since he fainted in our special forest and then he fell off the 2nd floor balcony after running away from some of Jacob's FanGirls or something. Then, thinking he was dead, I had a flashback about all of our special moments that didn't happen in the book but definitely was appropriate for this spoof, and then you guys gave me a sedative.

Taub: Bella, you've been in here for a couple of weeks alright…

Chase: …but you've been a PATIENT, not a visitor.

Bella: No, I haven't. Remember, you guys had a surgeon-off with the doctors from Seattle Grace when Edward & Izzie were having surgery!!

Foreman: We DID have a surgeon off, but YOU were the patient.

Bella: No, I wasn't! I saw you guys do like, Soulja Boy or something.

Chase: *to Foreman* What the heck is going on with her, mate?

Foreman: *shrugs* IDK, Jill. Let's ask House!

*House walks in with a fanfare*

House: Did someone say "House"?

Foreman: Bella thinks she's been a visitor to her boyfriend Edward, who she thought had skin cancer that spread to his brain.

House: *epic sigh, then turns to Bella* You've been hallucinating because YOU have skin cancer that spread to your brain. Edward doesn't exist. All of the symptoms Edward had were actually your symptoms

Bella: ¿Qué?

House: *another epic sigh* Charlie was the one who brought you in after you collapsed at school. You were nearly hit by another idiot driver in the parking lot when you passed out

*Flashback 1: Bella is at her truck when Tyler Crowley's van swerves as he hits a patch of ice, but he doesn't hit Bella. She passes out*

House: After doing a multitude of tests and examinations, we discovered a mole that was cancerous. According to your medical history, you lived in Arizona for the majority of your life, so it made sense. We operated on you and removed the majority of the cancer cells from your brain, but still, you needed chemo

Bella: So if this is true, did the surgeon-off still happen?

Taub: Fo' shizzle

*Flashback 2: instead of Edward on the operating table next to Izzie, we see Bella. McDreamy does his hair flip*

Bella: What about everything else? Did you REALLY hook up with Cuddy?

House: See for yourself. Oh, mistress!!

*Cuddy walks in*

Cuddy: I swear, if you call me mistress ONE MORE TIME…

House: She loves me.

Cuddy: I do :)

Bella: Was there really a TCU convention?

Cuddy: Yeah! That's when House and I finally caved into our sexual tension and had some Hot!HuddySex……sex that wasn't hallucinated by the writers that totally needs to happen next season for realz. *thinking* OMG, it wasn't a hallucination, right?

House: *thinks about it* I don't think so.

Cuddy: How do you know?!

House: Cuz you're preggers!

*dun dun dun*

Chase: Huh?

Taub: whoa, Chase didn't say 'crikey' or 'mate'!

Cuddy: I'm not pregnant, you moron. Cameron is.

*dun dun dun*

Chase: Whaaaa?!

Cameron: Yeah, but it might be the janitor's baby.

*dun dun dun*

Cameron: Just kidding.

*dun dun dun*

Cuddy: ¡omg, es posible que esté embarazada! Me gusta la idea; si fuera una madre, estaría muy feliz…

*dun dun dun*

Wilson: ENOUGH!!! And speak in English, please…

House: Whoa, when did you get here?

Wilson: IDK, but I'm just cool enough to appear out of thin air.

Foreman: Sweet.

Wilson: Look, can we pleaseeee just end this spoof already? I wanna go on a boat already for the sequel! *pouts*

House: Fine. Bella, you'll be fine since you woke up. So will Izzie, since George totally died on "Grey's Anatomy"

Bella: Seriously? That's great! Oh, well, not that George died…but okay. Um, what do I do now?

Cameron: Get yourself healthy and get to living life again.

Cuddy: DUH! Gosh, you're really an idiot sometimes. *to House* Why did you hire her again?

House: 'Cuz she's got pretty hair.

Wilson: Whatever. I'm outtie. Before I go, I just want to remind everyone to meet up in the DDX room tomorrow for the board meeting.

Chase: Thanks, mate.

Cuddy: Thanks for the reminder, Wilson. For now, let's all go to the clinic! Yay!

*everyone groans and begins to turn away when…..*

Juno: WHOA, dream big! You forgot to do a little somethinizzle up in the hizzouse.

House: Oh my gosh, I totally forgot! Ending credits!!!!!

*Wilson finds himself in the clinic area dressed as Posh Spice, Chase as Baby Spice, House as Ginger Spice, Taub as Sporty Spice & Foreman as Scary Spice*

Foreman: (dressed in a green tank top, army pants, and a Scary Spice afro): I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

House: (dressed in red leather pants, heels, a red wig & a tan sparkly top): So tell me what you want, what you really really want

Foreman Spice: I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

House Spice: So tell me what you want, what you really really want

Foreman Spice: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

Taub (dressed in an orange shirt & blue jogging pants): If you want my future forget my past

Chase (dressed in a white baby dress with his hair in pigtails): If you wanna get with me better make it fast

Foreman Spice: Now don't go wasting my precious time

House Spice: Get your act together we could be just fine

Foreman Spice: I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

House Spice: So tell me what you want, what you really really want

Foreman Spice: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

*all begin dancing, including Wilson, dressed in a little Gucci dress and heels*
All: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

Taub Spice: What do you think about that now you know how I feel

Chase Spice: Say you can handle my love are you for real

Foreman Spice: I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try

House Spice: If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Foreman Spice: Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

House Spice: So tell me what you want, what you really really want

Foreman Spice:I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

*All begin dancing again…and Taub does a flip down the hallway*

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

Foreman Spice: So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me you gotta listen carefully, We got Chase in the place who likes it in your face, we got H like CT who likes it on an Easy Wee doesn't come for free, he's a real lady, and as for me..ah you'll see, Slam your body down and wind it all around Slam your body down and wind it all around.

All: If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

Foreman Spice: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam

All: Slam your body down and wind it all around. Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover.

*all end panting and waving*

Wilson Spice: and we all lived happily ever after!

The End.