"What do you expect me to say Edward? I don't want you to leave but I can't stop you."
I watch as Bella's face gives me the slightest flicker of emotion. It's immensely infuriating not being able to hear her mind. Her eyes turn hard and although she's pulling off this hard façade quite well, I can hear her heart race with pain, the pain I'm inflicting.
"Bella, please don't be like this. I have to leave, you know this. I told you it would be like this eventually."
She cringes and then shivers in the cold as the wind passes us, I get a hint of her delectable smell and it almost convinces me that I don't need to go anywhere, but I have a great amount of self-control and I do know that I can't stay here, not while my family is somewhere else.
"Then go Edward. Leave and don't come back. I don't want you anyway."
Her words scald me like physical pain but I keep stiff, decades of practicing emotional numbness. Bella's eyes rake over me, lingering on my face looking for a hint of something that she might be able to break through to convince me to stay. But I can't stay. Alice needs me and I will not abandon her and the rest of my family when Alice needs me.
"Bella. My love, if you knew-."
"Then tell me! Tell me why you have to leave and maybe I'll understand!"
I break the distance between us and take her hand in mine. I'll miss the warmth of her human skin and the way her blood feels as it runs through her body.
"You know I can't. Alice…she just can't be here."
"Edward I know Jasper's missing. Is that why? Is that why you're leaving?"
I'd like to give her an answer but I know if I do she'll hate me forever.
"Bella, please just understand that I love you, I always will. I have to go, Carlisle is waiting."
I place a sweet chaste kiss on her lips not allowing the feverish more passionate one I long for. I don't know if I'd be able to pull away from her if I gave in. Bella lets a stray tear roll down her cheek and I feel my dead heart breaking into a million pieces as I leave her standing there. I race through the forest, the wind brushing in my hair. I am careless. I don't care what comes in front of me; I run it over with brute force. It does me no damage, I knew it wouldn't. I could be hit by a tanker and I'd still come out unscathed.
The past few days flash through my head.
Alice dances past me in that peculiar Alice way, following behind her is Jasper. He seems more rigid then usual and I guess that he hasn't hunted in awhile. Bella sits beside me on the couch, her head in my lap as my fingers stroke through her hair.
I hear parts of Alice and Jasper's conversation as they talk quietly in the next room but its Jasper's thoughts I am listening to most.
'Why is she so important? Why can't Edward just pick a normal partner instead of that infuriating human? I can't stand her being here…her smell, the colour of her skin as she blushes. She looks delightfully tasty.'
I stiffen, Bella does not notice. I trust Jasper not to hurt Bella but something about his thoughts disturb me.
'She's just a human. He can find another. What's one human? They have to expect me to screw up every now and then, I'm not as immune to the smell as them. I'm new at this. He wouldn't be angry would he? Could he forgive me?'
Bella sits up and looks at me. As her mouth goes to open I place my finger to it and kiss her softly.
"I'll be back in a second, love."
When I enter the next room I find Alice and Jasper playing a game of chess. I don't know why Jasper bothers, Alice can see every move he's about to make. But I suppose he just humours her.
Alice smiles at me and then she freezes and her eyes stay still and she's having a vision. I see it in her head and I feel so sick that I want to die. Bella lays in Jasper's arms as cold and lifeless as a dead human should be. Jasper's eyes are blood red and he has the scent of Bella's blood on him. I growl upon seeing this. Alice snaps back to reality.
"Jasper!" She squeals, covering her mouth.
Jasper already guesses what this is about. I take a stance in front of him.
"Touch her Jasper…and I swear…"
"Edward." Alice scolds.
'I'll take her home. Stay here with him.' Alice thinks. I nod and race into the next room to tell Bella goodbye.
When Alice and Bella leave Jasper gets vicious.
"She's just a human Edward! I need her. I want her. She smells so good!"
"Resist the urge! That's what being a vegetarian is about Jasper!"
"Carlisle would understand."
"I wouldn't. Touch her Jasper and I will kill you. I won't hesitate. I won't be thinking of Alice. I will murder you."
He snarls. Lucky for me there's now no one home but me and him. I punch him, forcing him to fly back into the wall. The fight is on. I hear his thoughts as he races towards me. He thinks of all the ways he'd like to kill Bella. He thinks about the taste of her. My gut aches.
Before I know it I'm ripping into him, biting him, tearing him limb from limb. I hear Alice's scream of pain before I see her appear in the doorway. She's already taken Bella home and I guess she seen this in her head just before it happened.
"Edward!" She cries as I tear his head off.
I stop. Frozen. Shocked. What have I done?
6 months later.
I half-smile as I see Jasper and Alice come home from hunting. He's better now, fixed you could say. It took awhile for his body to repair itself fully, but it did and he's alive (or dead but alive?).
Carlisle gives me a nod. I know that nod. It's the 'Jasper is better now, we can return to Forks and you can return to your Bella,' nod.
When we arrive back in Forks on the Monday morning I am relieve to know that I will see Bella at school and I can explain things to her. I am not so relieved when I turn up to school and see her kissing some other guy.
As if she senses my presence, she looks up and meets my gaze. The boy in her arms turns around and I don't know this boy. Is he new? Where did he come from? He's attractive, but not to Bella's standards and somehow I am jealous of this human male, knowing this for some part of these past 6 months Bella has been in his arms and not mine.
I traipse over to Bella and plaster a smile on my face.
"Edward. I didn't know you were back."
It feels like the whole school is watching with horror and Bella's new boyfriend meets her old. I feel sick thinking that.
"I just came back to today."
I smile menacingly down at this boy in Bella's arms. She scalds me with her eyes. I soften my look and apologise to her with unspoken words.
"Edward this is Parker. Parker this is Edward."
Parker gives me a nod and stands up. I hope he suddenly dies of a heart attack and I know that's awfully selfish of me to think but Bella is not right for this Parker guy.
"Babe, I'm going to go and grab a coke. You want one?"
"Uhm. No. Thanks."
He leans over and awkwardly goes to kiss her. Bella does not know what to do and he ends up kissing her chin instead of her mouth. Imbecile. I give a hint of a smirk, Bella notices.
Once out of sight Bella stands up and stalks towards the parking lot where she knows we'll be alone. I follow after her, aware that everyone around is staring at me, wondering where I've been and what I'm doing back. Particularly Mike Newton.
"What are you doing here?"
Bella finally questions once we reach her truck in the parking lot.
"Going to school."
I give her my crooked smile.
"Don't play games Edward. 6 months ago you left without an explanation and now you're back. Without warning. Why?"
"I missed you."
Her hardened expression changes and she sighs. I know she missed me too, even if I can't hear her mind.
"I missed you too."
And that is it. That's all I needed. I take her hand and swing her on my back and race towards the forest and up the mountains, through the trees and break into the meadow, our meadow. I let her down and give her a second to catch her breath before I capture her mouth in mine and ravish her lips. She tastes so sweet and I remember why I couldn't kiss her like this the last time.
"E-Edward, w-w-what are you-you doing?" She manages, pulling away.
"Kissing you. I missed you Bella."
I pick her up and swing her around, setting her back on the ground I kiss her neck and the urge to bite her right there is gone. All I want is to love her and keep her safe.
She gives in and lets me. But she has her own demands and starts ripping my shirt from me. I want to tell her to stop but at the same time I want to keep going. The need for her is amazing, I've never wanted another vampire this much, let alone a human.
"I love you." She mumbles into my chest as she kisses my hard body.
I let a low growl of pleasure come from me as her hands trail to my waist. I rip her clothes from her quickly, forgetting that she may not want to do this. But if I had any reservations before that she didn't want to do this, I knew right then she did. The look in her eyes was pure lust.
"I love you, Bella Swan. Always and forever." I whisper into her hair.
Her hands release me from my pants and I sigh as her warm hands wrap around that sensual part of me. She's clumsy and inexperienced but I don't care, I prefer her that way, knowing that I'm the only person she's ever been with excites me.
I relieve her the same way, a hand tracing the inside of her thighs before slipping between and feeling the desire she has for me. Her heart thumps and she blushes as the realisation that she's naked in front of me but I don't care. She's beautiful, more beautiful then any vampire I've ever come across, including Rosalie.
I stop touching and take her hands away from me, pinning them above her head. I kiss her forehead and take a position above her. Now more then ever I wish I could hear her thoughts.
"What're you thinking?"
She breathes softly, thrusting her hips slowly upwards, yearning for me.
"I'm thinking I want you. I want you Edward. You know…that way."
I tease her, pressing myself against her but never entering her. I know this is dangerous for her and I'm stupid for considering this. But I want her that way too and I don't know if I have the self-control to stop anymore.
"Do you love him?"
She cringes. I don't want to ruin the mood but I need to know. I need to know.
"No. I love you. Always have. Always will."
And that's my confirmation. I enter her slowly, aware that this might hurt her. She closes her eyes and bites her lip and never have I seen her look so beautiful or more human.
I go slow, taking my time, easing in and out of her at a slow pace. She seems to relax more and starts to enjoy it the way I am. Her eyes open and gone is shy Bella. The only Bella inside those eyes is seductive Bella, a Bella I've never seen.
She smirks and moves with me, meeting me half way. I like this. I like this meeting half way. It feels good. Utterly, completely good. She places her hands on my back and rakes her fingernails over my cold, hard skin and although my skin is like granite I still feel the scraping but it feels good. A good kind of scraping, ha.
I start to thrust faster, more deeper inside her. She's beginning to really enjoy this and I can tell she won't last much longer. She moans a little, it's a beautiful sound.
My name on her tongue in this mood makes me so full of pleasure that I start to lose control and thrust even faster and a bit harder. She likes this. She enjoy this.
"Oh. Edward. Mm. Edward."
She throws her head back. I feel her climax around me. I reach my own peak, letting out my own cries of pleasure.
I roll off her, beside her. She takes my hand and kisses it.
"I love you Edward."
"Promise me you'll stay?"
"Bella I…I need to tell you why I left. It's killing me."
I sit up and put my t-shirt around her naked body. She thanks me silently. I take her hand in mine and look her in the eyes.
"Do you remember the last day you were at my house? The day when Alice took you home?"
"Yes. Alice dropped me off, she was saying something and then all of a sudden she stopped and left. I think I heard her scream but I can't be sure."
"You heard right. That day when you were at my house Jasper was…well he was thinking unthinkable things about you. He wanted to kill you."
"Don't get me wrong, he loves you Bella. But he was thirsty and your scent was driving him crazy. But that gave him no excuse to think of you like that. Alice seen a vision of Jasper killing you and I couldn't bare it. That's why Alice took you home. After you left I spoke with him about it but he wouldn't stop thinking about ways to kill you. I could see it in his head. Things got out of control. I got out of control. Bella…I tore him apart, literally. That's why I left. Alice was distraught. Not angry. Just…distraught. She needed me to be there for her so I had to leave. It took 6 months for Jasper to repair."
"Why didn't you tell me Edward? I would have understood."
"I didn't want you to think I was some kind of monster."
"Never. You know I don't think of you like that."
I kiss her forehead.
"You won't leave again will you?"
She asks this with the most innocent look on her face.
"No. Never. I can't bare being without you."
"Good. Me either."
My first Twilight fic. What do you think? I may be encouraged to write more. When? I don't know. I kind of broke my laptop. Oops. Review and let me know what you think.