50 Simple Steps to Seducing your Best Friend


Have you ever wanted something or someone so badly that it was like an ache, deep inside you and nothing but that something or someone could relieve it? Have you ever wanted it so badly that all your thoughts are consumed by it, so that working out a simple math equation becomes one of the most difficult things in your life? Have you ever wanted something and known you could never have it?

Have you ever wanted your best friend?

I know, what a cliche, but there must be a reason behind cliches, right? Obviously this type of thing does actually happen, and rather frequently otherwise Hollywood and starry-eyed romance authors wouldn't have any reason to dream up these overused plotlines. In fact, you'd think there was some sort of guide book out that gave a detailed step-by-step on how to seduce your best friend and make them fall for you.

Heck, the person that writes it would be rich almost instantly. I know I'd buy it.

The thing is, you want two things in these types of situations. Firstly you want change, you want that best friend to look at you and for once not see the girl he's grown up with, the girl he's seen throwing up the contents of her stomach, the girl who he used to play hide and seek with, but the woman you really are, the beautiful vision of perfection (we can all dream, right?) and find themselves longing, find themselves aching to hold you and press their lips to yours. Then there's the second thing, you want familiarity. In fact, whilst wanting this change, you don't want change. You want your relationship to remain the same, just with a few little extra things like flirting, kissing and depending on your age, sex, but we still want our best friend and, if option number one can't happen, then we don't want to lose that best friend.

And so begins the cycle of doom, as I've aptly named it. We secretly yearn for them, willing ourselves to take a deep breath and just tell them, but the fear of losing them holds us back, so we sit back and watch them with other girls, showering them with compliments and kisses and we fall into an even deeper pit of yearning.

Simply put, loving your best friend is a pile of bullshit and no amount of Febreze is going to sugar-coat it.

I'm a simple girl, but science has always fascinated me. I like how things are solid and factual. How silly emotions don't change the perspective like with other subjects such as English or Art. It's a constant. Perhaps that's why I conducted this stupid experiment, because I figure doing it scientifically will somehow make it that much easier.

As if.

Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is that I'm fed up with all these stupid, God-damned harlequin novels where the two best friends admit their never-ending love for one another, make out and have the best sex ever and, shortly afterwards, get married and make beautiful babies together. Where's the method? The procedure? The bloody variables?

So here I am, standing outside the stationary shop clutching a brand new notebook with a pretty blue and purple tie-dye effect front cover and a handful of black biros so if one runs out, I don't end up ruining the book by changing colour ink. I close my eyes, remind myself that this is ridiculous. I'm going to be the first. I'm going to write a stupid guide book on how to seduce your best friend and whilst I'm doing it, I'll damn well test it out, too.

And if I fail, I am so totally going to chop off Edward Cullen's balls. After all, this is his fault.

NOTE: That's right. I'm back! And joining me is a bag full of inspiration, a fresh new idea and a cliche every girl secretly dreams about. As my regular readers know, I lost my way a bit when it came to Twilight. I hated the characters, I hated the stories I read and more importantly, I hated my perspective on it all. Everything I wrote was horrible, everything I thought was hated and I just had to get away from them, but here I am, and although I doubt that TEoA will ever be updated, TC will be and more importantly, I plan to update this new story...WEEKLY! I know, amazing right? How, you ask? Well, simple, in England we have a little thing called study leave which means other than four days over the next two months, I have no school until September. I'll be studying for about three hours a day, probably less knowing me, but most of my free time can be spent writing for you guys!

So, did anyone miss me? xD As some will known, I've started writing on Fiction Press, too, so check it out. Link is on my profile. ^^

Oh, and for your info, as always the characters are English, it's set in England and I'll be using English spelling, so I stick my tongue out to all those who try and correct my spelling of the word 'colour'.