Disclaimer: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants, Axe, or Sonny with a Chance.

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

(I Hate) Everything About You, Three Days Grace



I'm sitting on the couch in the prop house, watching a rerun of Spongebob Squarepants. It was Friday afternoon, and the rest of the cast were either gone or changing out of their sketch costumes. Tawni had already changed and was out on a date with some guy, and Nico and Grady were down at commissary, and Zora was doing something up in the vents- or, at least, I think ­that's where she is.

Just as Squidward and Mr. Krabs disappear from the butterfly, the door opens.

I look over and groan. Out loud.

Chad Dylan Cooper lounges in and tosses himself elegantly on the couch next to me. He looks at me. "What, Sonny? You don't want to see me?"

"What do you think, Chad?"

"I think, Sonny, that you are actually immature enough to watch Spongebob Squarepants. I haven't watched it since I was eleven."

"Oh, really? You mean, yesterday, right?"

Chad laughs in a fake, high pitched tone, and I join him in the same laugh. We break off at the same time and glare at each other.

I sigh. "Why are you here Chad?"

He smiles smugly. I have to resist the urge to reach out and smack him. "I just wanted to tell you that the polls came in, and viewers like MacKenzie Falls more than So Random!"

"And you came all the way over here just to tell me that? I'm honored," I spat, my voice sarcastic.

Either Chad didn't hear my sarcasm, or ignored it, because he yanked on his collar complacently and said, "I know. Even when I look at someone, they feel honored. It's just who I am."

I roll my eyes and look back at Spongebob. Him and the rest of the town are running around the streets, the butterfly following them.

My body is highly aware of Chad sitting next to me, his body radiating off a heat that only he could give. His smell floats over me; a light, man soap with a stronger scent over it, something familiar…

"Are you wearing Axe?" I asked incredulously.

Chad looked flustered. His face grew redder by the second. "I- Uh… Phta- Uh… No."

I raise my eyebrows at him and lean in close to him, lowering my head so my nostrils are level with his neck. Sniffing, I smell it stronger- an okay smell, not horrible but not great, good enough to keep me sniffing, though.

Smirking, I move away from him. Chad's face is bright red and completely adorable. "You are!"


"Hah! I'm so putting this on my blog!"

"What's so wrong about Chad Dylan Cooper wearing Axe? Every other guy does."

"Yes, but you've never worn it before."

"How do you know?"

Now it was my turn to be flustered. I couldn't tell him that every time he was near me, I smelled him, or he would know that I loked (love/like) him. And he cannot know that every time I see him, my heart speeds up, I get dizzy, my head feels like a balloon and my stomach turns into a contortionist.

"I- uh… Um… Well- uh."

"You smell me, don't you?"

"What? No!"
"Yes, you do!"






I can't stand it! They're so obnoxious! And, their ruining my vent time.

So, I hatched a plan. Using my genius mind, I have assembled the most ingenious, fool proof plan that no one could break out of. And as soon as the plan outline was complete, I set to work making it happen…





"Okay, this is getting ridiculous. If you don't smell me, than how do you know that I don't usually wear Axe?" My head is spinning. Sonny Munroe smells me! That's a good sign, right? Isn't it good when a girl smells a guy?

"So you admit it! You do wear Axe!"

"Not all the time-"

"Then why are you wearing it now?"

"Because I was just hanging out with Portlyn."

Sonny's face falls, and I kick myself for telling the lie. Why couldn't I just tell her that I wear Axe whenever I now I'm going to be around her? Because if you do, then she'll laugh in your face. You are Chad Dylan Cooper, man, get yourself together! She obviously doesn't like you, so don't get your hopes up. Just focus on Portlyn. She's in love with you, anyways.

I hate this voice. It's so, so… anti-Sonny.

Abruptly, I hear a click, followed closely by another. I look down, and see a small face with huge eyes grinning up at me from the floor.

I glance at Sonny, and then back at the girl. "Who is this?"

Sonny ignores me. "Zora, what are you-"She stops suddenly, staring at her wrist. I follow her gaze.

A silver bracelet circles her wrist, with a thick silver chain coming out of it. I follow it with my eyes. It leads to another silver bracelet, a copy of Sonny's, but this one is around my wrist.

It takes me a moment to realize what it is.

"You handcuffed us? I don't even know who you are!" I exclaim, jerking off the couch. Sonny gives a yelp of pain, and I look at her. Her hand had followed mine, and it had jerked her arm.

I sit down instantly, and Sonny glares at me. I blush, but Sonny had already turned her attention to the girl.

"Zora, where are the keys?"

The girl, Zora, doesn't answer. She just cackles insanely and runs away.

"Zora! Zora!" Sonny screams after her, but she doesn't come back.

Slowly, Sonny turned and looked at me. Shivers run down my spine.

"We're screwed."