I really have no explanation for this. I was just bored, and I'm certainly going to try to hook up Sanji with all of the girls in One Piece, but we'll see how far I get. Feel free to make suggestions of who you want next.

On another note, I really suck at writing Sanji in flirt mode. Why I decided to take on such a project with that in mind is beyond me. Oh well, practice makes perfect.

By the way, I don't own One Piece. Just in case you were wondering to yourself, "I wonder if this was written by Oda..."


"You going out again?"

Sanji glanced away from the mirror where he had been fixing his hair for the past 2 hours to look at his roommate. The green-haired man was casually leaning against the doorway drinking a beer while waiting for an answer.

"Of course." In an attempt to find a steady girlfriend, Sanji had gone out with a different girl almost every night for the past month or so. Clearly it wasn't going so well, but Sanji was very hopeful about tonight…just like every other night.

"Where did you find this one? Not in a back alley again I hope." Zoro finished off his beer and crushed the can in his hand.

"No, I met her outside a Café this afternoon. Her name's Jewelry Bonney, 'cause I know that's going to be you're next question." They've been through this routine almost every time.

"Hm? Jewels? I know her." Also part of the routine. It seemed as if Zoro knew every girl in town. Why he refused to actually introduce any of them to Sanji himself still remained a mystery to the chef. "We're in that Supernova club thing together. She and Luffy seem to get along swimmingly. Considering…"

There it was. Zoro Roronoa's reason why this girl, like all of the others, will eventually drive Sanji insane, thus condemning him to bachelor life forever. Maybe Sanji should focus his efforts on a new roommate first. Of course, maybe he just continues to dig his own grave, because he still consistently asked, "Considering what?"

"Well, I'm sure it's no big deal for you, being a chef and all, but Jewels and Luffy have similar appetites. Honestly, I'm always surprised when the place still has any food left after she and Luffy have had their fill." Damn him. If there's one thing that Zoro can do to turn him away from a girl, it's compare her to Luffy. "You'd probably better off just cooking something for her here rather than taking her out."

"You just don't want to make your own dinner. Besides, it's rude to have the first date at home. Especially if you're stupid roommate is going to be home all night."

"Che. It's your money I guess. Assuming you're paying for dinner…"

"Of course I am."

"Meh. Like I said, it's your money." He shrugged and made his way to the TV area. Sanji finished his primping and grabbed his jacket before leaving the room. "I'm off."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Somehow Sanji's shoe that was by the front door a few seconds before managed to hit Zoro's head.


Sanji looked at his watch again. Jewelry was almost a half hour late. They had agreed to meet in front of the restaurant at 8, but his watch informed him that it was about 8:27. Where was she?

About 5 minutes later Jewelry came running up the sidewalk. She was wearing a red and black striped mini-skirt with matching leggings, black boots, and a white blouse. Sanji thought she looked absolutely stunning (just like every girl he saw) and was glad that he decided to wear the red pinstripe shirt with the black vest instead of the green one.

"Sorry I'm late. I got held up by this cop."

"Did you drive here?" Sanji asked, looking around for a car or a vehicle of some kind.

"No, there was this jerk that got in my way. I may have punched him in the face to get my point across and a cop saw us. Apparently that counted as assault or something. I got off though 'cause the cop thought I was younger than I actually am."

"The real crime would have been locking up someone as cute as you for something like that in the first place. You look lovely tonight, by the way."

"You're not so bad on the eyes yourself. This where we're eating?"

"Yes. This restaurant is owned by an acquaintance of mine, so I was able to get a reservation." They entered the restaurant and were promptly seated and served their drinks

"You're a cook right? Ya think the food here is going to be any good? Aren't cooks pretty picky about things like that?"

"My dear, I wouldn't consider taking someone as divine as you somewhere I wouldn't consider eating at." The waiter showed up and they ordered their meal. Sanji was a bit unnerved about the amount of food Jewelry ordered, but Zoro had said she had an appetite and besides, he's cooked for Luffy and Ace on several occasions. The amount of food some people were able to eat was nothing new to him.

Things were going pretty smoothly if he did say so himself. They probably would have continued smoothly if the food had somehow never arrived. Then again, maybe it would have made things worse; Sanji was never one to think about what could have been anyway.

Jewelry managed to eat her larger-than-normal meal in under 5 minutes. This in itself was no big shock to Sanji. It was more of the way she devoured it. After all, even Luffy knew not to put his feet on the table. After she finished her first course however, she continued banging on the table asking for more and more food until Sanji's acquaintance had to come over and remove them from the restaurant. Sanji was going to have to pay him back somehow, and Sanji hated having to pay people back if it couldn't involve food.

Being a gentleman, Sanji waked Jewelry home. The entire trip consisted of her complaining about how restaurants these days never had enough food or were never willing to share. They were paying customers after all; there was no reason for her to be kicked out…again. Sanji simply nodded and agreed with whatever came out of her mouth.

When they got to her building's door Jewelry said, "Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe next time you can cook for me instead."

Sanji cringed, inwardly of course. "Maybe. I never really have any food on hand though."

"Yeah, Zoro always says something like that."

Sanji groaned, inwardly. "Zoro says we never have enough food?"

"Yeah, we're in the Supernova club thing together and he's mentioned how you have trouble feeding both him and Luffy on your salary."

Sanji didn't know what was worse, the fact that he was once again ending a date with the topic of Zoro or the fact that Zoro complained about not having enough food in the apartment when he ate more of it than Luffy.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. You're a lot nicer than Zoro says." Sanji had the sudden urge to kick something, preferable a green-haired something with a sword fetish. "Thanks for dinner." And with that, she went inside and left Sanji on the front stoop.

Sanji sighed. "Ce la vie." He walked down the lonely streets back to his apartment.


Upon returning, Sanji found Zoro, Luffy, and Brooke sitting around the coffee table in the TV area playing cards. They looked up as Sanji came through the door. "That bad huh?" Zoro asked, picking up on his defeated stance and food-stained…everything.

"It was fine until the food showed up." Sanji countered, sitting down with the others at the unoccupied side of the square table.

"Yeah, it's usually like that with Bonney," Luffy felt the need to add, before slamming his cards down on the table and shouting "King me!"

"Yohoho, Luffy, we're playing go fish. By the way, do you have any threes?" Brooke asked.

"As a matter of fact I have three. How did you know?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "You want in?" he asked Sanji.

"Sure, why not?" He picked up seven cards from the deck in the middle of the table and proceeded to just play cards with his friends.