A/N 2-I have never seen a single episode of Gossip Girl, apparently there are books too but I haven't seen those either. But apparently this story has become similar to a story line on that show; luckily we'll be increasing the wizardy stuff and down playing the "Collision of Women Trying to Make Scorpius Sad" stuff.
He downed the Irish Car Bomb then waved the bartender over to order another. But the alcohol didn't kill the pain, just dulled it. It was all falling apart again and it was no surprise to Scorpius Malfoy that Rose Weasley was the reason.
The last forty eight hours of Scorpius' life flashed across his mind's eye…
"Who the fuck is Rose?"
Scorpius opened his eyes to stare into Pansy's enraged face. The post-coital hair and glistening sweat didn't make her any less intimidating. "Who is she, Scorpius?"
Lying seemed the only sensible idea at the time and he scrolled quickly through the mental rolodex of lies all men kept on hand for circumstances just like this one. "Pet name for you, luv." He kept the smile and tried to fake the look in his eyes. She didn't buy it.
"WHO IS SHE?"
"Nobody." He regretted saying that almost immediately, a good lie needed consistency.
"Which one is it, Scorpius?" Pansy said as she climbed from the bed and pulled on a robe, she didn't even look at him, "Is it a pet name or nobody?"
"Let it go, it's nothing."
"Is it a pet name or is it nobody?"
"Leave it alone, Pansy."
She spun around, giving him a glare that could wither steel. "Are you cheating on me? After everything I did for you?" He'd never seen this kind of anger from her before, ever.
"I…we…this is an open relationship, Pansy. YOU said I was allowed to-"
"ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?"
"NO!" He felt like his skull was going to split in half, this whole situation was insane. He struggled to find some sort of reasonable answer but only sputtered, "It's nothing! Just ignore it…please…it's…" Scorpius couldn't finish that sentence because he didn't know how to. He had no idea what he was doing, was he begging a lover to forgive him or pleading with a fling to stay in bed? None of it made any sense anymore.
"Nothing? You said her name during sex, Scorpius, you were thinking of this…Rose when you're supposed to be with me." She was so angry she was shaking and Scorpius knew she had every right to be exactly that mad. "Are you in love with her?"
But he didn't care. "It's none of your business, Pansy. Just leave it alone."
"WHO IS SHE?!"
"ROSE WEASLEY, OKAY? HER NAME IS ROSE WEASLEY!"
And then Pansy got very quiet. She just stood there as tears started rolling down her face with a hurt look in her eyes. She muttered something that sounded like 'like father, like son' but Scorpius was too busy getting dressed to care.
They walked to the front door but they weren't together when the got there. There was a vast ocean between them; a mile long divide that they felt could never be crossed. This was their relationship laid bare and that scared them. They had nothing in common other then loneliness. Pansy was clinging to him out of fear and he was clinging to her out of necessity. Aside from good sex, they had no reason to stay together.
They were lying to themselves that they were anything more then two pathetic people in a big scary world.
He reached for the door knob but she tried to stop him. "You walk out; you don't get to come back in." She meant it but she didn't want to, without Scorpius she had nothing. She would be alone again.
But it was the most melodramatic crap he'd ever heard and Scorpius believed it deserved a melodramatic answer. "It's been fun, Pansy."
Her face softened and he could tell that Pansy was going to give in but he didn't stop. He kept walking.
He slammed the door in her face.
His legs felt like rubber and his eyes had a glassy sheen, by the time Scorpius Malfoy wandered into the parking lot of Katie's Bar he was well and truly sloshed. And as he walked down the street towards the river, the slosh became a buzz and the buzz soon dulled into a nice, even numbness that spread across his chest and warmed the underused muscle he called a brain.
There was no destination in mind, just the sweet oblivion of unknown locations far to the future.
Maybe when he got to the river he'd jump in, maybe he'd go back to Katie's and talk that cute waitress into a pity fuck. Maybe he'd take his wand out, the wand he used only a handful of times in the past two years, and just magic himself right out of existence. One Avada to the temple and he'd be dead. Numb forever.
But by the time the sidewalk became the river bank the numbness dissipated into feelings again and Scorpius talked himself out of ending it all. No, his brain said, go back to Pansy and get some sleep.
"But I don't love her." He whispered, "I barely even care about her."
Doesn't matter, said his brain, fake it.
And his brain was right. Pansy wasn't much but she was everything he had left. He should go back, turn around and walk home.
He was just about to get out his cell phone and call Pansy for a lift when the device began to shudder all by itself just as an unfamiliar number appeared on the clam shell display. Never in a million years did he expect to hear the soft, stuttering whisper of his dear mother, Astoria Malfoy.
She was a mousy woman with a small voice that could barely be translated through the tiny speaker on Scorpius' high tech phone. But he pressed the device to his ear, desperate to hear her. "S-Scopius? Darling is that you? Are you there?" It dawned on him that this was probably her very first phone call and that brought a smile to his face. Poor mother was hopeless with Muggle machines and the image of Astoria actually walking down to a mall to buy a cell phone from some kiosk vendor was both hilarious and touching, "D-dash it! H-how does this b-bloody thing work?"
"Hello, Mother." He said, fighting to keep his tone as neutral as possible. It would kill him if she ever knew how much he missed her. "How have you been?"
"Ah, t-thank goodness." There was an edge in her voice and Scorpius could tell she was more nervous then usual, "I was told that this was the best way to contact you since I didn't see your floo in the network listing…"
"I'm in a flat, mother. There's no floo."
"But your owl-"
"I don't own one."
Silence set in, it was obvious they could do this all night; she'd do her best to remind him of his old life and he'd deftly avoid the subject. He knew he'd be the one to break the chain, mother could never be blunt no matter how many cell phones she bought but there was a deep feeling of apprehension in his chest that warned him against pushing forward.
"Why are you calling, Mother?" Again he used a neutral voice to mask the growing torment nipping the heels of his conscience. "Is something wrong?" He kicked himself for asking that, it was a short list of 'wrong' that might make her actually buy a cell phone and none of them were very appealing. Why thrust forward into the bad news by asking?
Scorpius could hear the sudden catch in Astoria's throat as she took a deep breath. "Come home." She said it in the way all mothers say those words, with warmth and sadness and guilt inducing kindness.
He almost said yes. Right then and there he almost opened his mouth and said the words. But the next thought that popped into his head covered over anything else. "And father feels the same way?"
"He…he misses you, just like I do." Scorpius could hear her lie right through the phone, "We all miss you."
No, he thought, no one missed him; he knew that just from the sound of her voice.
She was still talking but Scorpius stopped listening. "I-it would be so nice to have you for Christmas this year. Aunt Daphne is coming for a visit, she said it would be lovely to-"
"And what did Dad say?"
"What did he say?"
"He doesn't know that I'm calling you." Her voice shook with unexpressed emotion, "But I'm sure that if you just came home we could-"
"You could what?" Scorpius was shaking with anger now, shivering as he remembered the old argument, the wound that sent him halfway around the world. "What could you do, Mother?"
"Pull some strings? Throw money around? None of that is going to keep people from calling me 'That Malfoy-Boy', none of that is going to keep them from calling me a bad seed." He was screaming at the top of his lungs, demanding to be heard above the sound of his own beating heart. "How is coming home to a big empty house going to solve all my problems? How is letting that bastard I call a father judge me and look down his nose at me going to help anything?"
"Come home-" But Astoria never finished the sentence, because Scorpius closed the phone with one motion…then unceremoniously hurled the device into the East River.
She wanted a pizza, a big greasy pizza with pepperoni on it.
That was strange since she usually despised Muggle food. The bland tastes and heavy scents were usually nothing compared to the light airy feeling she got from wizard food. But tonight, for some strange, unexplained reason, she needed pizza. She could've ordered in, could've picked up the house phone and dialed up any one of the thousands of pizza parlors in the greater New York. But she wanted to pick it up herself and she wanted to walk.
So that's what she did, she walked four blocks in the chilly night air, just to enjoy a good slice of pizza from a little place Frankie once said was the best in the world.
And that's when she found him. Again.
To Be Continued