A/N: I got this idea from just randomly watching wife swap,


"Esme, I brought the mail in for you. It seems there is a little more than normal." I heard Alice chime as she walked into the living room. I began thumbing through the mail praying that none of the kids, particularly Emmett were in trouble with school.

Everything seemed to be normal, bills and junk mail; except one large manila envelope. I flipped it over to read the return address.

RDF Media

100 6th Avenue, 3rd Floor, Suite 3-29

New York, NY 10013

I glanced at the return address trying to remember if this was a company that we had ever done any business with. It was addressed to Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I have never opened Carlisle's mail and while I had no intentions of starting I was curious.

I looked at the clock; it was three thirty, there was still a few hours till he came home from work. I placed the letter on the counter and went back to my book.

I was just finishing my book as I heard Carlisle's car pull up the drive. I picked up the letter and rushed to the door to meet him.

"Hi honey, I'm home." Carlisle smiled as he entered the door and kissed me on the cheek.

"What are we the damn Cleavers?" I heard Emmett laughing from the living room.

I laughed about his little comment and quickly returned my thoughts back to the letter in my hand.

"I have no idea what it could be about." He said as he opened it. I saw him glance down scanning over the pages. His fists began to crumple the paper as his face turned even paler.

"Family meeting! Now!" He screamed louder than I had ever heard.

I glanced over to the living room as Emmett was sneaking away.

"SIT" I demanded as he looked guiltily at me.


I heard Carlisle's normally gentle voice echo through the house; I glanced over at Edward.

"His mind is to scattered right now to read." He explained knowing that I was looking to him for an explanation.

"I've never heard him yell like that." I said quietly as we made our way out of our room.

"There have been times, usually when Emmett and Jasper are up to…" He paused for a second. "Oh shit, they didn't" He whispered as we made our way down stairs.

"Didn't what?" I whispered, but Edward was currently too busy concentrating on other thoughts.


Fuck, I thought to myself, I am defiantly screwed here. How did he find out? The film crew wasn't supposed to be coming until Monday. Rose entered the room and smiled. "I told you so." She whispered as she purposefully sat at the opposite side of the room as me.

"I thought you were together with me on this." I said unable to believe that my wife was backing out on me.

"No, I said I would not tell anyone. Not that I was going to support you. Your on your own on this one." She smiled smugly.

"Stop talking." Esme angrily hushed us. By the tone of her voice she had obviously found out what this was about.

I watched as the rest of the family filed into the room. Jake and Nessie were first to arrive; obviously neither of them had done anything wrong lately so they had nothing to fear as they entered the room. Edward and Bella appeared next I looked over to Edward, by the look on his face he knew. He let out a low growl as he walked past me. At least he hadn't told Bella; I could tell by the look on her face that she was still clueless. Alice and Jasper were the last to arrive; were they going to bail on me too? We wouldn't have followed through with this if she hadn't seen that everything would work out. I mean what's the use of having a psychic sister if you can't have fun with it.


I looked around at the faces of all my children trying to imagine which one of them would have done this. Certainly not my sweet Renesmee, Jake was out of question to he knew not to push Edwards buttons. It wasn't something either Edward or Bella would be involved in; if it didn't involve a bed lately they were uninterested. Alice had to have seen this coming, why didn't she stop it, was she involved. I knew Emmett was involved, but who else.

"I received a letter today." I announced watching their expressions. "I am going to read it in it's entirety before anyone says anything."

Dear Dr. Cullen,

Thank you again for your video entry for wife swap. We find your family very interesting and feel would make for good entertainment. Hopefully you and your family will be able to take something positive from this experience; as well as share your lifestyle with another family. Enclosed we have sent the release forms to be filled out when our crew arrives. In the other packet we have sent the confirmation tickets for Esme Cullen's plane tickets. A company limo will be arriving at your house six hours before the departure time; Sunday April 25th at 11 am. If you have any further questions please feel free to contact us.

I stopped there, "I think I have a few questions, should I contact these people or would you guys like to explain to me what the hell is going on here."

"Carlisle, Alice didn't see anything going wrong, I mean nobody is going to suspect us of anything." I looked over to Emmett stammering to defend himself.


I ran quickly over to Edward who was now on top of Emmett.

"How could you do this." He snarled as I pulled him off of Emmett. "What do we do if the new mom figures us out?" He asked me as I pulled him back to Bella trying to calm him down.

"Edward, man, don't worry about it, we blend in at school all the time." Emmett broke in.

"Emmett, don't you think that humans find us a little different? They might not come out and say it? This is different than a few hours at school, this is camera's following us around twenty four seven." Esme reminded him. "Twenty four seven, Emmett, do you think America would find it appropriate for you to have sex with her sister?" I watched Esme smile knowing he hadn't taken that into account.

"Who made the tape?" I asked hoping for a quick answer so I wouldn't have to pry it out of them.

I watched as Jasper and Emmett slowly lifted their hands.

"Go get it now. I want to see it." I hadn't even finished when they both took off heading upstairs.

Rose quickly got up and set up the DVD player. I couldn't help but notice that she had been smiling a little too much. She knew and was enjoying watching Emmett squirm.

The boys headed back down I think Jasper's hands were actually shaking when he hit play.