Warnings: This story contains several concepts that may not be liked by all. This story contains explicit content which may not be suitable for children. Mature audiences only. Yaoi, Male/male relations, rape, abuse, and mental abuse. If any of the aforementioned topics alarm you, please note that you have been warned.

Authors Note: This story takes place about a year after the Ceremonial Duel. Yami did not pass over, and was instead given his own body. He now lives with Yugi and Solomon. Yugi is 18 and everyone else is aged respectively.

This story will take place in three parts. This is the first part. The songs I chose for each chapter may not make sense right away. Don't worry though. I chose these songs because I feel they portray the emotions present within the chapters. If you have any questions drop me a review and I'll be glad to clarify

Pairings: Yami/Yugi, Kaiba/Yugi, and hints at Bakura/Marik/Yugi, but nothing explicit.

This is a songfic. The will be a different song for each part. The title is the song which ties the entire story together.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this story. I also do not own the lyrics to the song I used. The song is Happy Birthday by the Birthday Massacre, and I love them.

Looking Glass

Happy Birthday

I don't understand. How did this happen? How could they do this to me? They promised. They all promised they would never do this to me, but look at where I am. There is no one here to help anymore. I can't concentrate on anything but the pounding of my head against the wall. My shoulders, neck, and scalp are killing me. I can feel the blood starting to soak through my hair and clothes. Why is this happening again?

I cry out for Yami through our mind link, but he just slams his barriers up at me as though he were simply turning off his cell phone in a movie theater.

He's been doing that a lot recently. He doesn't even want to hear my thoughts anymore. Who am I kidding? He hardly even looks at me. He has even gone so far as to slap me across the face for breathing around him. In the last year, I'm not sure how many times I've bled because of him or Jou or Honda or Bakura or Marik. It's been too many times to count. They just don't appreciate my presence anymore, so I stay away completely, and because of that I've ended up here.

I vaguely noted my body being roughly moved further down into the alley away from the street.

I think my friend said,

"I hear footsteps."

I should have just gone straight home after school, but I didn't want to face Yami's wrath after what happened today at school, so I stayed in the library for almost two hours after the day was over. We got into an argument during lunch. An actual argument. One of his girlfriends noticed me passing by them and said something in Yami's ear.

The former pharaoh stood up in a rage, shooing the girl away from him as she giggled uncontrollable in her seat. I ran. I ran as fast as I could down the hall only to run smack dab into Jou and Honda. I hit them so hard I ricocheted off of them only to land butt first on the floor.

"You got a problem with your eyes, Yugi."

Cracking his knuckles, Honda smirked at me, "We can help remedy that for you."

Still on the floor, I tried to crawl away from them in the direction I came from, but a pair of hands grabbed me and pulled off the ground into the lockers. My head made a horrible bang against the metal edge, and I saw stars for three seconds until Yami's crimson eyes blazed at me from above. I was entranced by their depths. Even in his anger, Yami's eyes shine more beautiful than rubies.

"What were you looking at just now?" His hand snakes around my throat.

"Nothing Yami-san." My breath stops as his grip tightens cutting off my air supply.

"You're a little liar, Yugi. You want me for yourself don't you?" Jounouchi and Honda were closing in on us now, intrigued by the situation. "Well, Yugi, you can't have this, for one good reason."

He came even closer then, pressing me further into the lockers, making me gasp for just a gulp precious oxygen.

"I can't love you. I am pure darkness."

Ouch. I can feel the tears gather at the corner of my eyes.

"I love playing games, Yugi. You were a fun chess piece to play with during that time we were linked, but not anymore. I have my own life now. You're not allowed to have a place in it." He then kneed me in the gut and released me. The tears were already falling down my face, but I couldn't ignore them. I couldn't just sit back and take was Yami just said to me, so as the three of them walked away from me I stood.

"You're a liar, Yami." He stops.

"I was never you chess piece. I was your friend, your light. You can't just throw me out of your life as you see fit. It doesn't work that way, and you know it to-"

He slapped me. Hard. I went sprawling across the floor just as the bell to go to class rang.

"We'll finish this later, my little hikari."

I wore my black and white dress to the birthday…

Massacre, birthday massacre, birthday…



He is kicking me again. He broke my ribs this time. I huddle on the ground as my attacker approaches me.

"Tell me Yugi, what are you doing out all alone on your birthday of all days?" he asks dragging me by the legs and throwing me against the wall. As I landed, blood spewed out of my mouth all over the ground. His voice sounds so familiar. Do I know this man? He seems to know me. The shadows hide his face, but there is a light in this alley. He seems to be driving me in that general direction. Then his question actually registers in my mind.

Today is my birthday. I actually forgot. My depression driving any and all thoughts of happy moments out of my head, caused me to forget that I'm eighteen today for the first time ever. Wow, I think with a sad smile. Amazing how easy it is to forget was once unforgettable. The next thing I know I feel a foot come crashing down on my chest driving me further into the ground.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why, you ask. I'm not really sure. I saw an opportunity and decided to go for it. You know how I am, Yugi. I'm ambitious." He grabs the front of my black and white shirt, lifting me off the ground. I found my self once again pressed against the wall. I could feel the remnants of glass biting into my now bare shoulders as the man before me undid his belt buckle.

"Just think of this as another game, except this time I'm finally going to win against you. I'm going to beat you once and for all, and you will be so broken because of it, not even your precious pharaoh will be able to fix you."

"Kaiba, NO!" I cried as he rammed his lips onto mine with a moan.

I wore my black and white dress.


"Yugi," called Yami from upstairs through our mental link.

We're alone in the house. It's been about two weeks since the Ceremonial Duel, and everything has been great. Yami has been more than content to have a body again, and I'm just glad to have him around. He is my Yami after all.

I skipped up the stairs to his room where I knew he would be. I knock before opening the door out of courtesy more that anything else and enter the room. Yami is sitting on edge of the bed, one leg hanging off the edge and the other crossed underneath him. He beckons for me to come sit with him, so I go and sit with him on the bed. He wraps an arm around me, pulling my head to his strong chest.

I don't know what it is about him that makes him seem so much stronger than me. He looks almost exactly like me just taller and leaner. I think its that aura he carries about him. After all, he is Atem, former Pharaoh of Egypt.. He breathes royalty and dignity. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could be more like him: confident, regal, and dignified. But I know in my heart I will never be anything like that.

"What is wrong, Aibou? Why the troubling thoughts?"

"I don't know exactly."

"Does it have to do with going back to school?"

"Maybe. I guess, I'm just antsy with not having anything to do." I feel so worthless now that you don't need me at all. It's like my sole purpose for the last two years has been solely to house you, and I don't know what to do with myself now-a-days.

"Well, do you want to hang out with the others today, so you'll have something to do?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" I say with fake enthusiasm. I'm not looking forward to being with everyone. I always get this strange feeling that they don't really realize I'm there. They seem to have placed Yami in my role even though I'm still here. I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like they don't need me anymore or don't want me anymore. They have Yami now.

"Yugi…" He places his hand on my chin so as to pull my face up to his.

"Yes?" I ask looking up at him.

"You know that no one will ever be able to replace you in my heart, right?'

"Of course I do. Nor will anyone ever be able to replace you."

"Good," he sighs leaning toward me, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. "Don't forget that."

~End Flashback~

I think my friend said, "Stick it in the back of her head."

I think my friend said, "Two of them are sisters."

That was the first and last kiss Yami and I ever shared. I still don't know if he was lying to me then or if he is lying to me now. All I know is that Kaiba's lips are not as soft or caring or comforting.

This kiss is bruising and painful. I can feel my soul being pulled from my body through this kiss. Perhaps Seto's past life as the high priest Seth gave some of the ability to mangle a soul within its body because I can feel my heart being twisted and contorted into some unfathomable shape. My thoughts grow darker yet as I feel his hands claw their way under my shirt. Nails scrape up and down my ribcage, aggravating my already broken ribs.

Against my will a small cry escapes my lips, he smirks at the sound as he grabs at my lowest belt, undoing it and flinging it from my body with a leathery whooshing sound. My body jerks in response trying to maintain what little balance I have left. My legs part ever so slightly. Kaiba takes that time to spread my legs wide and press his hardened length to my body. My head hits the wall again, the glass digging in deeper.

"What do you think, Yugi? Do you think by hurting you, I'll be able to hurt Atem as well? It only makes sense. You two are connected some strange way."

I try to stop him as he pulls my pants from my hips. All he does in response is grip my hands in his and tie a tight cord around them. Now I can feel them cutting into my wrists. The blood streams in slow torrents down my arms from the barbs in the cord. It soaks what is left of my clothing. He pulls one of my pant legs completely off, leaving the other to dangle off of my ankle.

"I once knew this pair of girls. They were sisters, you know. And it always seemed that if you did something to one, the other felt the same thing. They were fun to play with all those years ago. I eventually got tired of them, though." He rips my boxers off of me completely in one swipe. My whimper pleases him.

"You and the pharaoh intrigue me so much more than they did. I can't wait to play with you."

"I'm a murder tramp, birthday boy," I think I said.

"I'm gonna bash them in, bash them in," I think he said.

'Yami, please!!! Help me!!! It's Kaiba, he's hurting me. Why won't you listen to me!!?'

"Are you calling him, Yugi? Does he answer? I bet he doesn't. He's probably fed up with having to deal with a little baby like you. Always having to take care of you would probably get annoying after so long." Kaiba grew quiet after a moment as though in thought. A small uncharacteristic pout formed on his lips as he thought to himself.

"It really is a pity though. I would have loved to see the look on his face as he came to your rescue and saw us like this. It would be worth more than a thousand Egyptian God Cards to see that look of horror," the CEO laughed.

"You wouldn't get that pleasure," My voice sound strained and thick with unshed tears. "Yami says he doesn't care about me anymore. He won't come." Kaiba just smirked at me evilly. He drew his fist back and rammed it straight into my already sore and bruised cheek, snapping the my aching head to the side and cracking his skull against the alley wall.

"Don't worry Yugi. I'll enjoy your screams just as much."

I stared at him out of the corner of his eyes, still unable to comprehend what he meant by those words. But then I notice him undoing the clasps on his pants and dropping them around his knees. I started struggling in vain. The blood from my wrists went everywhere, splattering my shirt and legs and face. Some of it blinded me, splashing in my eyes. Then I felt the slap across my face, stunning me long enough for him to finish his ministrations. And like that my world was split in two.

And the pain… The pain seemed to consume my every thought. It pooled in my blood and pores, searing every part of my body. It burns and consumes my entire world. I clenched my teeth, biting my tongue in the process, unable to hold onto any semblance of the reality I'm suffering through at this very moment. Tears fall freely down my face as I scream in agony.

Then we wished them all a happy birthday

We kissed them all goodnight.

Flashback (3 months before)

There is a party going on downstairs. They are celebrating Grandpa's birthday, never mind the fact that he isn't actually here to celebrate it with them. He's away in Egypt for the weekend celebrating with friends and colleagues. It makes me sad that he's not here. There's no one to talk to, and I'm afraid. Afraid of what the others might do if they remember that I'm up here by myself. I probably shouldn't have come home today. It would have been better that way.

I'm listening to music as quietly as I can, playing a game of cards by myself. Things were starting go get quiet downstairs, signaling to me that people were starting to leave. I'm ready to be relieved that no one decided to come and bother me. Isn't that sad? It's so pitiful to be afraid of the attention your friends give you. Or at least your former friends; I don't what they are to me anymore.

I'm ready to go to sleep now that everybody has left. The tension melts off of my shoulders as I settle underneath the blanket of my bed. I snuggle my freshly healed face into the pillow having just removed a bandage that had been there for almost two weeks from a bully attack. I close my eyes hoping for good dreams and sigh content with my position and stature. That's when I hear the banging at my door.

"Open up, Yugi."

It's Anzu. I freeze. I don't know what to do. She's sounds angry. I turn the music off, and scramble to find some leeway that will get me out of the situation to no avail. I hear the door crash open.

"Have no sense of hospitality anymore, Hikari?" Yami doesn't sound mad, but pleased as if now having an excuse makes it all the more worth wild. "We came up here because Bakura and Marik want to celebrate grandpa's birthday with you, and you didn't open the door. That's too bad."

With a smirk, Yami pushed his way into the room. Bakura and Marik were behind him, laughing to themselves. I guess I had always seemed so innocent and unreached able to them. While under Yami's protection, I had been untouchable and protected. Not so anymore. Now was their chance to do with me as they would. The white haired thief cracked his knuckles from behind Yami, and Marik twirled a knife between his fingers.

I'm backed up into a corner of the room already when Yami reaches me. Grabbing me by the neck, he pulls me out of the room, throwing me into the waiting hands of Bakura and Marik. He walks away from us into his room, Anzu a prize on his arm, his lay for the night I assume. He's always sleeping around with different people, male and female alike. It disgusts me, but at the same time, I can't help but feel a little jealous.

The laughter behind me reminds me of my situation, and I try to run back into my room to no avail. They follow hot on my heels, shutting the door behind them and locking it. Bakura grips me by my nightshirt and pulls my face up to his. He speaks.

"Don't worry, Yugi-chan. We won't hurt you too badly, and we intend to honor the pharaoh's wishes. But we will have the fun we have been allowed." He kisses me. It is vile and repulsive. Nothing like Yami. As he pulls back, Marik steps forward to take his place.

"Your pharaoh is generous to give us this time together. It will be much enjoyed." He follow Bakura's example and kisses me as well. This is even more unpleasant, he seems to suck on my face as though hoping to vacuum my face into his mouth. I gulp in a breath of air when he pulls away.

"Now let's get started shall we." And the first blow was thrown.

End Flashback

I don't exactly remember what happened after that. I know that I woke up the next day bloody and bruised. I probably had a slight concussion which would explain my lack of memory of the incident. I know I wasn't raped like this. I fantasize that that fact was one of the limitations placed on them by Yami, but I really have no proof. If he was going to let them just have at it, why place a limitation on them.

Now he chases me to my room,

Chases me to my room,

Chases me in my black and red dress.

The pounding is incessant. It never stops. I don't know how long I've been here. I don't even comprehend the passing of time. While it feels like time has stopped, I somehow know that the seconds are ticking by at a pace so slow this moment may as well last for an eternity.

It's funny how time passes. Yami once told me that while he was trapped inside the puzzle time seemed to pass in intervals. There would be moments when time would pass rapidly almost as if it were put into fast-forward. The darkness around him would swirl at deadening intervals leaving him dizzy and fidgety with a sense of urgency. It was these times Yami said that existence inside the puzzle was almost bearable before I solved the item.

Other times, he claimed it to be avarice when time just seemed to stop on him. All signs of movement would cease to exist in his space of darkness and all would be silent and still. These were the times Yami most feared, for they would leave him fearful of falling into nothingness, and being left in the dark for the entirety of frozen time.

"An eternity where time stands still," he told me once. "…Isn't an eternity at all. It is death. True and endless death. It is purely the state of nonexistence."

It was during these intervals were he would forget all that was, and all that he knew ever would be. It was during these times where he became the spirit Yami instead of the great Pharaoh Atem, King of Egypt, King of Games. When time stands still, people forget who they are, who they long to be, and who they once were. I think I understand the meaning of those words now, Yami. You were right to be afraid. This is death. This is real darkness.

I think my friend says, "Don't forget the video."

I can't scream anymore. My throat aches from overuse, and I have grown hoarse. All I can taste is the blood in my mouth. All I can smell is my sweat, Kaiba's sweat, and my blood. All I can see is the darkness of my eyelids, too afraid and too anguished to pry them open and look around. All I feel is pain, pain and a masochistic pleasure that motivates my lower body to awaken beneath Kaiba's touch.

I'm disgusted with myself. How can I let him arouse me like this? How can I be so fucked up as to be turned on by this…this madness?

"You like this don't you?" Kaiba's voice pierces through the haze in my brain. "You like being controlled by me don't you. You like being my little bitch."

He drives into me harder and faster. He's drawn blood. I can feel it. I cry out again at the mixed pain and pleasure. I open my eyes and through a mist of tears, I can see Kaiba's eyes closed in pure bliss. He's enjoying himself, the sick fuck. Just like everyone else. They enjoy themselves at my expense. Yami does, Bakura and Marik did, Jou and Honda do, and now Seto Kaiba is enjoying raping me, taking my virginity from me, stealing what innocence I had left.

I think my friend says,

"Don't forget to smile."

Beneath the sounds of Kaiba's grunt and groans of pleasure, I am dully aware of another sound growing closer in quick intervals. Are those footsteps? Kaiba's breath quickens as he notices something out of the corner of his eye, and I am so thankful for the slowing of his thrusts into my tender body. I feel I've been granted a reprieve as he stops completely, still sheathed within me as he looks to his left away from me and into the opening of the alley.

"How nice of you to join us."

I can't see who he is speaking to. There is a darkness tinting the edges of my vision, and the existing darkness around us reveals only the silhouette of the new arrival to my weakening gaze. He is tall and lean. He hasn't moved a muscle since Kaiba addressed him, but I still don't know who this stranger it. I wince as Kaiba wraps his hand around my throat and slamming my head back against the wall. My eyes lose focus for a moment before the world around me stops spinning.

"Why look, Yugi, we have a guest. Why don't we give him a good show?"

My gaze returns to him. He pulls out of me slowly a smirk on his face. The fear rises from the pit of my stomach. The blue-eyed dragon has pulled a knife out of his back pocket.

"Sing for us, Yugi. Smile for our audience." He pulls out a little further before barreling back into me simultaneously stabbing the knife into the meat of my thigh straight through the bone encased there.

I scream, "No" as he continues to drive into my body. My eyes are screwed shut. The screams fall from my lips as I lose my voice completely to this monster inside of me using my body for his sick desires. When will this torture end?

"You're a murder tramp, murder tramp," I think he said.

"You're a murder boy, birthday boy," I think I said.

"Stop, Stop it." My voice is harsh and rough. I've given up fighting. In the back of my head, I'm vaguely aware that Yami's barrier is no longer intact. I can't recall when it came down. I didn't notice with what was going on, but I've been prodding him all this time, and still no response. I guess he truly doesn't care about me anymore. He doesn't even care enough to keep my voice out of his head. I want to black out so badly now. Just let my consciousness fade into nothing.

"Will you just stand there?" Kaiba addresses our "guest". "Are you that shocked? Ooh… Does this anger you? Mmmm… Tell me, what are your thoughts on my fucking your little bitch here? I'm dying to know."

I can feel my body tensing as if in preparation for something I cannot comprehend. It feels like this hot coil has tightened in the center of my belly, and it's ready to burst from the amount of tension. The sensation is frighteningly pleasurable.

"He's ready to come. Would you like to watch him come for me?"

His hand wraps around my cock and pumps harshly. It feels so hot, so wrong, but oh so good. The coil tightens further, and he whispers into my ear.

"Come for me, Yugi." I gasp. "Cry out my name."


"Say it Yugi, let our guest know exactly who took your virginity."

That was it. That put an end to this.

"Kaiba!" I screamed with all that was left of my energy. I came hard, my muscles clamping around his organ as he released deep inside of me. The sensation of being filled by his seed made me want to retch. I could feel the bile build up in the back of my throat, but I swallowed the feeling down like one would swallow medicine, hastily and painfully.

He stayed there a moment basking in his orgasm. I couldn't breathe. My breath wouldn't come. I couldn't breathe. My pulse which should have been erratic was slow and steady, maybe too slow.

Our guest speaks, but I can't process the words. All I hear is Kaiba's voice. I whimper at his words.

"You want him, now. Come claim him. I've had my fun.

I think my friend says, "Stick it in the back of her head."

I think my friend says, "Two of them are sisters."

Finally after what seems like hours, he pulls out of me, letting me fall to the pavement. I hear his footstep retreating down and out of the alley. He disappears into the night, probably to return to his mansion and sleep. I lay there on my stomach unable to move myself. My whole body feels like lead: heavy and unmovable. I feel so weak. The world grows dark around me. The sound of footsteps is back again. They are coming in my direction quickly. It would seem the person is in a panic after the shock wore off.

A pair of warm, familiar hands turns me over and cradles me to an even more familiar chest. A jacket is place over my chilled flesh, warming me and covering my exposed flesh. Who is this person? Why would they do this? They shouldn't care when some many I love don't. Oh god, I wish Yami were here.

"Yugi, stay with me. Please, stay with me," the familiar stranger pleads as I fade into darkness. My body is being rocked back and forth in this familiar stranger's arms in comfort. I can feel droplets of water falling on my face and clothes. Is it raining?

Time speeds up here, and I am dully aware of the sound of sirens interrupting the silence. Then there are voices all around. They speak in panicked sentences.

"Suffers sever blood loss…he's been raped… hypothermia…I need an OR stat."

I'm being lifted and carried and carted in so many directions. My senses are in overload trying to make sense of the senseless. I eventually give up and focus solely on the warmth that never leaves my hand through all of the chaos.

"I'm a murder tramp, birthday boy," I think I said.

"I'm gonna bash them in, bash them in," I think he said.

Beep, beep, beep.

It's quiet, calming. I feel like I'm waking up from a very long dream. It's almost like surfacing from being underwater after an extended period of time or like stepping into the sunlight after being cooped up inside your house for so long you forgot what it's like to be outside. I can even hear some of the birds outside the window singing. It's an exhilarating sensation.

My skin is sensitive. I don't feel much pain. It's more like a stiffness or soreness in my muscles like I haven't been using my body a lot lately. Everything is mostly numb, but I feel the slight pain in my backside, reminding me of the attack. Over all my muscles feel battered, and I can feel pressure on my ribcage. I think it is wrapped along with my thigh. I can feel the familiar heaviness of a cast around my knee and thigh. I sigh as the prospect of having to deal with that.

My hands are wrapped in some kind of material. I think it is gauze from the texture. I can't really move my fingers around and touch anything because of it, but I can feel the cotton of the sheets underneath my arms. Around my right hand, I can feel the same warmth I felt that horrible night still present. I wonder what that is.

My sense of smell is strongest at the moment. I'm am hit by the strong scent of sterilized floors and sheets and walls. I must be in a hospital. I remember with a whimper the reason why I'm here, but I ignore that fact for the moment, allowing my senses to return to me. Underneath the strong smell of cleanliness, I can smell the scent of fresh flowers in the room. I can smell the different breeds of roses and daisies. I can even smell white lilies, my favorite. I can smell water nearby which activates my next sense.

I can also taste the sterilization of the room in my mouth as oddly as that sounds. I can taste different medicines coursing though my system. My tongue has taken on a cotton-like texture, which isn't unpleasant just awkward. My mouth is incredibly dry, and I wonder how long I have been in the hospital.

Carefully, I try to slide my eyes open, only to shut them again at the sunlight pouring through the room. I groan at the feeling. My small noise seems to have triggered more movement in the room as I hear and feel something rustle to my right. Maybe it's the source of the warmth in my right hand?

Turning my head slightly, I open my eyes just wide enough to examine this "warmth." A tearstained face peers down at me. Pale skin, covered in all black leading up to a pair of crimson eyes and hair almost exactly like mine in style, texture, and color.

"Ya…Yami." He smiles at me gently. It's the first time I've seen that smile in nearly a year.

I'm saddened slightly as my eyes seem to close again without my permission, a content expression on my face. I can feel Yami's grip on my hand tighten protectively, and I smile as I drift off to sleep once more.

I think my friend said, "Don't forget the video."

I think my friend said, "Don't forget to smile."

"You're a murder tramp, murder tramp," I think he said.

"You're a murder boy, birthday boy," I think I said.

End of Chapter 1

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.