This is love.

No shit.

This is romantic!

No shit.

This… is…

Sakura, shut up.

But this is—

It's Barney. And Her Friends.

Hn. And His Friends.



"I tied Sakura-chan to your bed!"

Sasuke closed his eyes, grinding his molars as he held back his temper, which boiled with vehemence. He's going to kill Naruto. Now. Now. Now. Please, let him kill the blonde. Let him… kill—

"Oi, Sasuke. Sasuke? Oh god no! You're fantasizing on what you'll gonna do with Sakura-chan's body, aren't you?!"

The dark-haired Shinobi opened his eyes and snarled, "Idiot." He barred his fangs. "Untie her."

"But Sasuke— that way, we'll know she would not be able to go anywhere while lifting her skirt!"

"Idiot!" Sasuke snapped, louder this time, hitting the blonde. "She got monstrous strength!"

"Oh," was Naruto's intelligent reply.

"I can't believe you forgot that. You're her constant victim."

"But… Sasukeeee, what do we do now? She'll break free with her monstrous strength, wreck havoc by lifting her skirt all the time! This is bad, bad, bad! Oh!" An idea brightened his eyes. Naruto looked at him eagerly, "Why don't you just screw her—"

Sasuke's hand flew and hit its mark.

"OWWWWW!" Naruto clutched his cheek. "You slapped me!"

"IDIOT!" Naruto jumped at the uncharacteristic volume and high pitch of the Uchiha's voice. "Haven't you got a decent bone in your body!? She's your teammate! How low—"

"I trust you."

Sasuke blinked.

"I don't trust anyone but you. I don't trust Sakura-chan to anyone but you."

He stared with a frown, clenching his jaw painfully.

Naruto made a face. "How cheesy."


"But… you two are meant to be! Destined. Fated!" Naruto made a dramatic pose and gestures in the air. "You are Sasuke and she's Sakura-chan! You two are destined to be the most angst couple EVER! You two are destined to make babies together! You two are destined to spend the eternity, the rainbows, the sunflowers, the solar system and whatever it is they say in TV's— together. Forever and ever. You two…" the blonde grinned widely, gums and teeth. "…are doomed to be cliché."


"She belongs to you and you belong to her. That's the way it is. Like the way the birds and the bees. And no matter how many angst fanfictions are there to crawl out of the internet, how many times you deny, how many times she gives up, how many times you hurt her and forgive you and forgets it, no matter how many times she raves that she will forget you, she will move on from you, she will stop caring about you (oh yes, she raved one night and yes, she was drunk and I memorized her lines with my GREAT BRAIN) and will let your fangirls rape you because you deserve to be raped, the two of you will end up together."

"You and your clichés, Naruto." Sasuke snorted, but not with animosity or mockery.

"Oh come on, badass. You loved clichés. You cried over Bambi. Don't deny it!" Naruto hollered. "Sakura-chan's taste in men is very poor. Tsk. She needs her eyes examined. I mean, I am the real man here! And you are the she-man!"

Said she-man punched the Real Man in the ribs.

"Plus," Naruto wheezed out, holding his ribs, "I prefer seeing suicidal pink-haired red-eyed assholes and freaky monstrously powerful cutie pies running around the village than watching pink-haired bushy-browed BOWL-CUT in green baby spandex squealing youth, youth, youth!" the blonde grasped his shirt, teary-eyed. "Please, Sasuke-teme, you've got to make babies with Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke shoved him off. "Pervert."

"Blah! Said the man who tongued Sakura-chan behind the bush. Anyway," Naruto added hurriedly at the murderous look on Sasuke's face. "Just be gentle with Sakura-chan! She's a virgin."

Sasuke twitched, furiously red. "Shut up, Naruto. Shut up."

"I'm just reminding you! Don't jump her like a crazy rabbit on drugs! It will hurt!"

"Shut up or I'll rip your tongue out."

"Blaahh," Naruto waved as he climbed up to Sasuke's window. "And oh, I forgot something."

Sasuke glowered. Naruto flashed him a grin.

"Don't do doggy style!"

A well-aimed kunai flew. Naruto clumsily dodged it and ended up falling head first to the ground outside Sasuke's window.




After untying her wrists from the bars of the bed's headboard, Sasuke sat down on a chair beside the bed, looking stressed. A frown creased his forehead.

Damn. Just one day and everything's crazy.

He could not take another day like this. He could not stand another day chasing Sakura, worrying about her virginity, making sure her legs were close, holding back his urges, enduring her harassing and dirty talk, his control… her touch… her kiss…

He tugged at his dark hair.

He'll go mad.

With a sigh, he lifted his gaze to her slumbering face. He wondered how an innocent woman could cause so much mayhem in a day. He dreaded the next days already…

Exhausted, he closed his eyes and dreamed of pink hair and green eyes.




When he woke up— crap, I fell asleep!— he was shocked— horrified was the better word— to find himself tied to his bed with Sakura on top of him.

"Sakura…" He hissed. "What the hell did you do?!"




The girl straddling his lips pouted. And to his horror, Sasuke found it cute.

"I got sad, Sasubabe."

Sasu-babe twitched. "Untie me."

"Nooooo," she grinned and she looked drugged. Kami. He hated Tsunade with all his fucking heart. He made a mental note to include the woman in his Freaking-People-Hit-List-Before-I-Die— because the only thing that will make him happy was to eradicate all fucking annoying people who messed up his life (of course, that includes Itachi— but Itachi is special) his peace, his apartment, his tomatoes, his dreams, his…

"I'm so glad Sasubabe had opened his pretty eyes!" She pouted, and Sasuke winced. "I thought you're going to sleep foreveeeer! I can't bear the thought of not seeing your pretty eyes!" A grin almost cracked her face into halves. "Because, baby… just one look from you, I'll come really hard."

Damn it! He had to get away. Fast. Right now.

"Untie me, Sakura."

"Noooo. I like you just the way you are. It's perfect, actually!"

"You idiot…" Sasuke tested the binds. They were tight, but not tight enough to disturb his circulation. If he use Chidori to free himself immediately, he might overdo it (he overdid everything) and hurt Sakura. If he used super strength— hey, he didn't have super strength, did he?


"Oh, Sasubabe looks angry. My love… the angrier you get, the rougher you'll get in bed so get angrier!" Sakura grinned drunkenly, tracing his cheekbone with the tip of her index finger. "Anyways, are you hungry? Are you thirsty? You can suck—"

"Shut up!" Sasuke cut off before she could even continue. But it was too late. He was scarred. He was scarred for life. "Just untie me, Sakura. Do it."

She pouted, and he found it cute. He cringed inwardly and cursed Itachi, Madara, Tsunade and the Ramen Man. "I don't want to! You're mine, Sasucandy! You're mine!" Her claim on him made him blush but he reminded himself: she's not on her right mind. It was the stupid potion by a stupid old woman so— don't get a hard-on.

The mere thought of getting a—

"Get off me." Sasuke growled before he could even complete the sentence inside his head. "Now, Sakura."



"Oh! Please, whisper my name! Whisper it!"

"Just get off."

The girl simply smiled at him innocently, batting her eyelashes innocently— fuck that!? Sasuke cursed venomously. He pulled at the binds and the ropes rubbed at his wrists painfully. Her smile widened, amused at his valiant efforts to free himself. Lower lip between her teeth, Sakura ran her hands over his shoulders, rubbing the tensed muscles and slowly… she rolled her hips against his.

Sasuke stiffened. What the fuck—

"Oh!" gasped Sakura, eyes round. Color rose to her cheeks while her eyes brightened. And Sasuke didn't like the sudden eerie brightness of her green eyes. "This… feels…" she bit her lip, lashes dropping, eyes hooded. "…so good." She whispered breathlessly.

Sasuke suppressed the delicious tingles that convulsed his spine. This is goddamned wrong. "Stop it." Before his body could— damn you, body! "Stop it, Sakura!" It was very uncomfortable. It was warm. The friction felt good. And… And… And most of all, it was arousing. He clenched his fists. "You annoying—" his breath caught when Sakura repeated the action, but harder this time.

"Sakura…!" Sasuke was near hysterical. He was normal. His body was normal and his body— die you traitor— was reacting. Contrary to popular beliefs in Leaf and outside Naruto, he was one goddamned male with goddamned hormones. "Stop it, Sakura. You—"

"It… hurts." The girl whimpered breathlessly, almost close to panting. Her throaty admission made Sasuke swallow. The pink-haired healer looked like she was having some seriously crazy orgasm— he vaguely wondered she'll looked prettier if indeed she was having one— her jade eyes were greener and ironically, they were filled with innocence, which was puzzling, odd, and whatever. But that innocence was sexy and… His dark eyes watched the pale skin of her neck as Sakura bent back her head.

"Stop…" he hissed, voice raspy.

"No…" Sakura smiled and cupped his face with her hands. She kissed his lips, and Sasuke firmly kept his mouth shut, as her tongue brushed his lips. Her teeth sucked on his lower lip, chewing it delicately. Short nails raked the scalp behind his ears. The feel of her nails on his scalp caused a tingle, making him groaned. She retreated for a while, licked her lips and whispered against his closed mouth. "Open up, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke swallowed and kept his jaw locked determinedly. Damn, who knows what he'll do once he opens his mouth and let her tongue him? His pride will melt into a puddle of goo and his lovely parents will roll and flip in their graves in shame because their son— the supposed-to-be asexual son—

No. Not so asexual anymore.

"Fine." Sakura pouted. Sasuke glared at her which she returned with a smile. "We'll do this the hard way." She reached down between them and—

"What the hell—" Ah. Too late. Sakura quickly slipped her tongue inside his mouth. Sasuke groaned and closed his eyes, cursing himself, Itachi, Itachi, and Itachi. The hand in between them went back to his hair.

Why? Why did he leave Sound? He should have stayed there and die a virgin death there than to get molested like this… His hormones screamed at him: hypocrite! But he ignored the scream and continued to lament his doom. But his lamentations were interrupted— nicely— when Sakura moaned, dug her fingers deeper into his hair and deepened the kiss. Sasuke repressed a groan as her tongue moved restlessly inside his mouth and against his tongue. It was very warm now, between their mouths, inside his mouth and inside his pants. The girl pulled away from the kiss for a second, her tongue sticking out with a thin strand of saliva connecting her tongue from his. Sasuke opened his eyes. Slowly, she put her tongue back inside her mouth. She smiled sweetly—how can she smile like that after molesting my mouth!— and kissed him again. This time, Sasuke didn't resist, only clenched his fists, his nails leaving crescent-shaped marks in his palms.

"Mmm…" she murmured against his lips. "You taste really good… Sasuke-chan."

Sasuke swallowed. "You've got to stop." He rasped.

"Not now when I'm having so much fun."


Damn. She should stop interrupting him with her tongue.

She pressed closer, kissing him deeply that will make Jiraiya and Kakashi blush.

Sasuke dug his nails into his palms. He felt his muscles tightened around his bones under his skin. His senses were sharp and he can feel her heartbeat, her pulse, the incredible warmth, her sweetness. For such a wide-eyed, innocent-eyed girl, Sakura sure was, surprisingly, a good kisser.

was she practicing?

He dismissed the thought darkly.

It's the potion, it's the potion. Not Sakura. NOT SAKURA.

But no matter how hard he denied this, she was an incredible kisser. She tasted good, she smelt like freshly unwrapped chocolates, and her hair on his face smelt like watermelon. Or raspberry. Maybe, cherries.

Temporarily satiated, the girl released his swollen lips and sat up. Sasuke was relieved, slightly mortified at being molested. He cringed. He…? Molested? Damn, he could just simply break free or scream Chidori at the top of his lungs… but his mind was fogged. No amount of logical reasoning can clear his mind… as of the moment.

Because Konoha's Super Cute Sweetheart was sitting on him.

"Sakura," began Sasuke in a voice he hoped was sharp and strong.

The Super Cute Sweetheart grinned at him cheekily. "I really like it when you whisper my name like that, Sasuberry!"

He didn't whisper her name. He didn't. The dark-haired boy curled his lip in disgust at his new pet name.

"…Oh, babe… I can't wait to RAVISH YOU!"

Sasuke was horrified. Yes, he was. Believe it. Sakura possessed superhuman strength. Ravishing would feel like blinking for her. Oh, why… why? Where was the blonde idiot— that Naruto when he needed him?!


The girl wasn't listening. "Ohh, the things I'd do to you… Darling Pet…" she murmured dreamily, her green eyes darkening. Again, Sasuke chanted inside his mind, it's the damn potion, it's the damn potion… However, his body was reacting. His hormones were having a field day— (sex! Sex! Sex!)


"…I'll tie you up. And slowly… very… slowly… strip you of your clothes…leaving…" she paused for a long time. "Leaving…" Then, her eyes sparked fiercely as she grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him, "…nothing! Leaving NOTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME? Nothing! Nothing! You'll be in your birth suit! And I…" She dropped him and pointed outside the window. "I…will sell your clothes to the highest bidder! Oh, I'll get rich… Maybe, I'll ransack your closet for more clothes to sell… Right. But—" Green eyes brightened as a charming smile appeared on her lips. "Your boxers are mine! What do you want to play, Sasuchan?" As she asked this, Sakura was rolling her hips on top of his slowly.

"Sakura, you… Stop it! You don't know what the hell you are doing!"

She blinked innocently. "I don't? Then teach me! Tell me what to do and I'll do it!"

Why don't you lose your shirt, eh? His inner self drawled.


"Stop. Get off me. Untie me." Sasuke hissed.

Sakura pouted. "No."


"Noooooo… Noooo… I won't let Sasuke-kun go! NO! NEVER AGAIN!"


"You're not going to leave again! I won't let you!"

"I'm not—"

"Liar!" She said loudly and slammed her lips on his.

And he felt, underneath all her stupidity of the day, underneath the sweet, desperate kisses, underneath the ridiculous names she conjured— he felt her.

And he understood.




I survived. And please flame me if you want because I know I deserved it. I am so sorry for the late update, but life's like a rock. It is hard. : ) My greatest and million thank you's for reading and feedbacks. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Kissy, kissy.

EDITED. 12:19AM.