A comical SH2 one-shot as per requested by my dear Nat. James takes Laura school-shopping and chaos ensues. Enjoy :D
"Oooooh, James, look at this one!"
"Oh , that's gorgeous! I have to try that on!"
"Oh oh! That one, too!"
"JAMES! OH MY GOD THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL-IST THING I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE!"
"But, isn't that a party dress?" James Sunderland managed to say through the piles of shirts, shorts, capris, skirts and dresses he held in his arms. "You only need school clothes."
"But what if there's a dance at school? I need to look nice." Laura—his sort of adoptive daughter, as per Mary's last request—put her hands on her tiny hips and shot him a look that clearly read, "God, James, you don't know anything."
"There aren't going to be any dances in fifth grade, Laura," James replied sternly.
"You never know!" The ten-year-old sing-songed as she weaved through the various racks of clothing.
James sighed and wondered vaguely why it was he accompanying Laura on her school shopping excursion. Yes, he was her legal guardian, but he was also completely a dunce on the necessities of a ten-year-old girl's school wardrobe. Heather had attempted to give him a quick run-down of the important items, but still….
"She'll need at least five pairs of pants, seven or eight new shirts—wipe that look off your face, James. Girls' clothes aren't that expensive--two skirts, socks, undies…," Heather had said, ticking the clothing items off her fingers. "And you might want to get her a training bra, just because."
James shivered in remembrance of the horror that had spread across his face at the word "bra" as it pertained to little Laura. He didn't want to think about things like that.
"Okay, James. I'm ready to try stuff on, now!" Laura was standing in front of the dressing room, her foot tapping and reminding James that she would probably need shoes, too.
He handed her the items and then happily plopped himself down in a chair just outside the fitting room door. He folded his hands and twiddled his thumbs while he waited, thinking that Laura would just try the stuff on, decide if it fit or not, and then buy the stuff.
Of all the things Mary had probably forced James to do, obviously shopping was not one of them.
James had been in the midst of snoozing when he heard his name being called. "What is it?"
"This dress is stuck!"
James panicked. "Well…uh, what do you want me to do about it?"
"What do you think, fartface? Come fix it!"
James honestly didn't think he had to right to enter a little girls' dressing room, even if it was just to help Laura…. He looked around to see if anyone was looking and then, quickly, entered.
"I'm in the last stall. Hurry up! I can't breathe in this thing!"
James beheld a quite comical sight before him even though at the time he didn't think to laugh. Laura had her hands straight up in the air, the poufy party dress she had exclaimed as the "most beautiful-ist thing ever" bunched over her outstretched arms. The top of her blonde head was barely visible through the petticoats and purple satin. She was tapping one foot and James knew that if her arms weren't currently in a satin-and-petticoat vise, she would have her hands on her hips.
"Don't you think it's a little small?" James commented, trying to figure out how to "fix it" as Laura wanted him to.
"NO!" Laura screeched. "NOW FIX IT!"
James first attempted to pull the fabric over her head, but her stuck arms prevented that. He then instructed her to pull one arm down and then the other to see if that would free up any space to get it over her head. That did free her head but she couldn't get her arms back up and through the arm holes.
She glared at James over the top of the massive pouf of the dress. "You suck," was her only comment.
After much too long of a time to make a dress fit, Laura gave up and pulled the whole thing off and flung it at James. "Fartface," she muttered.
James retreated out of the dressing room and hung the poufy monstrosity back on the rack. Laura emerged soon after with a frown marring her face.
"Did everything else fit okay?" James asked timidly.
"Ready to go then?"
James slumped at his obvious inability to be a good guardian. He couldn't even take the little kid shopping without screwing everything up. He did, however, know how to make it up to her….
"Want to get some ice cream after we buy this stuff?"
"Sure!" She smiled and ran off to look at the gumball machines while he paid.
James mentally patted himself on the back. He wasn't a complete failure. And things couldn't get any worse, right?
As the cashier paid, he noticed something lying on top of the stack of shirts, skirts, and pants.
It was a training bra.
James thought he would faint.
The End…sort of.
Ooh, I had oodles of fun writing this! James and Laura, I imagine, would fight like cats and dogs no matter what. And yes, James, you are a failure. Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a quick review with any faves :D