Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot! haha, I'm not sure there even IS a plot...
(this was inspired by ladychimera's and nire-chan's comic SERVED... they also own Larxene's doink-doink, I guess...)
BRM: God this was so very short... XD; Oh, well. Zexy has spidey senses! XP
And don't feel sorry for Xigbar.
Feel sorry for Demyx.
Zexion was minding his own business, reading a book in the quiet library, when suddenly, his Demyx-Is-In-Trouble senses tingled. He was out of his comfortable chair in an instant, running like lightning to see what was going on this time. He came to a halt when he saw Xigbar talking to Demyx, his DIIT senses still tingling. His cobalt eyes narrowed, and he began to approach them.
"Demyx," Xigbar was saying, "wanna go catch a ride? It's free." He winked. Demyx laughed, obviously not getting the innuendo.
Larxene's doink-doink flew through the air, and hit II on the head, knocking him to the floor. "Oi!" he yelled, irritated at the blow. "Whoever you are, come out and fight like a—" He paused when he sensed a murderous aura behind him. Oopsie-daisy, he thought in dismay. It looks like I have finally come to my doom.
Demyx grinned, waving to the person behind him. "Hi, Zex!" he greeted cheerfully.
Zexion gave a little half-smile and said, "Good afternoon, Demyx." He looked at the cowering Xigbar, arching his visible eyebrow. "Come, Demyx," he continued briskly, turning his attention back to the dense mullet-headed man. "I have a surprise for you."
"A present?" Demyx looked positively over-joyed, and happily followed VI to another room.
Xigbar twitched, lying forgotten on the floor.
"I hate Zexion and his stupid big-brother complex," he muttered finally. "YOU HEAR THAT, ZEXION? SCREW YOU!"
And again, Larxene's doink-doink flew at him.
"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?" he sobbed.
"It's 'cause you're a dork," Larxene said, smirking as she passed him in the corridor. She 'accidentally' stepped on his hand—"Oopsie-daisy!" she mocked with a cackle—and continued on her not-so-merry way.
"Bloody hell," Luxord commented, looking down at Xigbar. "Zexion didn't hit you again?"
"It wasn't him," Xigbar grumbled, "it was Larxene this time."
"Well, you'll get Dem someday, mate," Luxord assured the older man, patting his shoulder.
"Hopefully..." Xigbar sighed.