by leejeeg

A weird retelling of the Dickens classic

Fake belongs to Sanami Matoh

Warnings: language, classics mangling, eventual lemon



Snow was falling lightly over New york City. It was December and the already bustling city bulged with the daily influx of holiday shoppers. There was an air of excitement and expectation at the newly replaced headquarters of the 27th precinct. Janet, the desk sergeant was draping silver tinsel on the outside of her imposing desk. As Dee Laytner, half of the sexiest pair of detectives going passed by, she entreated him to assist her with more decorating in the lobby. Dee helped out eagerly.

Christmas was his favorite holiday, despite having grown up in an orphanage. Penguin always did her best to make sure the children had a special day, and Dee had always been her favorite. Dee smiled to himself. Yes, the darling nun certainly had a soft spot in her heart for him.

He reached up, stretching his long, lean frame to place a sprig of mistletoe in the middle of the room, hung off of the center light fixture. It amused him, the idea of such a romantic tradition hanging right in the middle of all these cops and perps, and his lurid mind pictured cops and criminals alike pausing in their activities to smooch for the holidays. He laughed aloud and shook his head. No wonder Bikky called him a pervert all the time because that was certainly an obscene thought. Janet thanked him and he winked at her. As she watched him stroll down the long corridor to the office he shared with his yummy partner, visions of more than just sugarplums danced through her head.

Dee opened the door to their office slowly. He peered inside; no Ryo. His partner was not a big fan of the holiday-too many sad and tragic memories. But this wasn't just any Christmas, this was their first Christmas together as a couple. Dee had begun trying to cheer his lover up since the first day of December. He closed the door and fished in his pocket for the small package nestled there. He placed it on Ryo's desk and then left the office as unobtrusively as he had entered.

Ryo was walking down the hall, unbuttoning his coat reluctantly. It was bone chillingly cold outside and the plummeting temperature had frozen his innards. Last week the boiler had broken down and they all had to make do with a handful of space heaters. Luckily Dee was able to snag one for their office but Drake, Ted and hyper JJ kept barging in trying to get warm. Dee wanted to kick them out, but Ryo didn't have the heart.

Ryo said hello in response to the scattered greetings he received, wondering the whole time where Dee was. "Yo, Ryo, wait up." Ryo turned to see Dee jogging through the hall to catch up with him. "Hey," he said in greeting, smile on his face, green eyes twinkling.

"I just got here," Ryo told him. "You must have been right behind me."

"Place is starting to look festive," Dee said as they entered their office. Ryo hung up his coat and sat down at his desk, immediately straightening out the already orderly surface. He noticed the brightly wrapped square immediately. He looked up at Dee who was trying, unsuccessfully to appear innocent. "Dee?"

"Hmm. Looks like your Secret Santa struck again."

Ryo shook his head failing to suppress a little smile. "What is it this time?"

Dee shrugged. "Open it and see."

"Baka," he said, not without affection. For the past week Dee had been smuggling little gifts onto his desk. Ryo was deeply touched by Dee's concern for him. He knew how depressing Ryo still found Christmas, even though he had cleared his murdered parents' names. It was getting harder to cultivate his seasonal depression with Dee, Bikky and Carol around. They were irrepressibly excited, and who could blame them?

Ryo's long slender fingers unwrapped the tiny package nimbly. At least he was reasonably sure that it was not a repeat of Dee's first little gift: a sheet of paper with crude drawings of hearts on it and the words "Love Certificate", entitling Ryo to a night of passion with Dee. Unwrapped the package revealed some Japanese lettering which Ryo could not read. He opened it, bracing himself for something rude. He pulled out a white porcelain ball hanging on a chain. "A tea ball?"

"Yeah, I thought you would like that for those fancy teas your Aunt Elena gave you. I know how much you enjoy a good cup of tea."

Ryo's fingers caressed the smooth surface of the tea ball. He smiled at Dee, truly charmed by his thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Dee."

Dee's smile widened, relieved that Ryo liked his present. Like it or not he was going to make Ryo have a good Christmas. Ryo frowned. "You're making me feel bad, giving me so many gifts-I haven't gotten you anything, yet."

"Ryo, the day you told me that you loved me was the day I got the ultimate gift. I just want you to be happy."

Ryo blushed and rushed into Dee's arms. He kissed him passionately and added a squeeze for good measure. They pulled away from each other just as their door swung open. Dee's mouth curled into a sneer. The only one who did not respect the privacy of their closed door was Berkeley Rose, their Commissioner. Dee hated the blond man ever since he made his other than professional interest in Ryo apparent. "Meeting in my office, ten minutes."

"What's this about sir?"

He smiled at Ryo, eyes barely able to disguise his desire. "Nothing major, detective. Just a heads up about this year's bonuses, the New Years' Eve schedule and a few miscellaneous items." He left them, door standing wide open. Dee closed it thinking, how about knocking you obnoxious prick. But Dee was being a little more careful these days. No one knew about him and Ryo yet, mostly because Ryo wanted it that way. Dee would have shouted it from every roof top, taken out full page magazine ads, skywriting, whatever. "Say, Ryo, when are we going to come out of the closet with our little romance?"

"Dee! I-I'm not comfortable with that idea. O-Okay?"

Dee shrugged. "Okay, baby. Just asking." Ryo's Aunt, Bikky, Carol and Penguin knew-the most important people in their lives, so it was okay with him. Besides, he could just imagine the ribbing he'd get from Ted and Drake. JJ would probably go ballistic, not to mention that bastard, Rose.

And Ryo wouldn't like it.