So strange as it may seem, a few people have asked about Jake's whereabouts in the past year and what happened to him, just as I decided to give you another clue…I haven't forgotten and it is actually the main part of the story but I have been building up to it and laying little hints…most of you may be able to guess where he has been and with who but I bet none of you will be able to guess why but feel free to have a go…as always let me know your thoughts. Love Tink. XX
I came awake with a strangled gasp, as the cold frigid, water poured over me, shocking me, tearing me from my restless slumber.. The cell in which I was held was still black as night, damp and cold, smelling strongly of decaying fruit. Leeches. They were in here somewhere, hiding in the shadows, hovering just out of my reach.
Glancing about I tried to make my eyes adjust to the ever-present darkness, wondering how long I had been unconscious for this time. Slowly but surely the torture they inflicted on me was taking its toll on my body and I was no longer able to stand the pain as I had in the beginning.
By my estimation it had been at least 14 days since I'd been brought here but with no daylight available to me it was impossible to be sure. I had no frame of reference, no knowledge of night or day. Gingerly I reached around my neck to see if the heavy metallic collar was still in place. Wincing I felt the sharp press of the spike against my neck as I moved my head. This and only this, was this was the reason I did not phase. The moment I attempted to shift my jugular vein would be punctured and I would bleed out in seconds.
Feeling about me in the dark I located the bowl of water and drank greedily, wishing it could feed the gnawing hunger in the pit of my stomach. Sleep, food and sensory deprivation, all classic tactics to break down my defenses and as much as I hated the weakness within me they were slowly and painfully succeeding.
I was aware of my captor's eyes even though I could not make them out. For now I was just grateful that I was alive and in one piece, that the scorching pains in my body had stopped. But I could smell her near by, the little one, the one so deceptively childlike yet who was capable of inflicting such pain as I'd never felt. My ears picked up on the sound of their restless movements and I heard them, hissing to each other, hoping to understand why they had brought me here, what they wanted.
"Why has he not broken master? Am I doing something wrong?" it was her, the child, sounding so disappointed and unhappy that even I felt a stir of empathy, wanting to go and reassure her that all was well. I snarled silently, wishing I could bare my fangs and leap at her throat, unable to comprehend that I felt even a second's sympathy for this little killer.
"Patience my dear one, he will break, rest assured…his body is equipped to deal with physical pain and heal from it… it will just take a little longer that is all" the silken voice of her master said in an indulgent tone.
"Perhaps brother, the key to breaking him lies within his mind, not his body…send for Gianna" came second, yet somewhat hesitant voice.
"Master please let me try" the voice was pleading now and I could imagine the pout which accompanied it. Dread trickled through my soul as I knew what was coming.
The voice chuckled, sounding like a proud father indulging his little girl "Oh very well, you may play little one but only until Gianna arrives…I know his weakness and that my dear ones is what we shall use to break him"
My heart pounded and I braced my body for the lightening storm I knew was coming. My greatest fear was now not for me but for my biggest weakness… Renesmee.
My heart punched into my throat as I gasped out her name, coming awake suddenly, the nightmare drifting away like mist in the moonlight. Slowly, so slowly, that it seemed to take forever I turned my head to look down at the girl curled so trustingly against my chest, where my heart raced frantically with fear.
Was that another memory or simply a meaningless nightmare? I could never be sure and until my memory returned I would be none the wiser. I twisted my head again, expecting to feel the cool metal bite of the restraining collar around my neck, relief pouring over me when I felt nothing but the soft tickle of Nessie fragrant breath.
Clinging to me even in sleep, the smooth alabaster skin of her arm was across the broad expanse of my chest, her tiny hand fisted over my thudding heart. She was tucked against me, her head practically in my armpit and I could feel the warm moist heat of her breath against my nipple.
Gritting my teeth I fought down the sizzling awareness which streaked though me and my body tensed, all thought of the nightmare wiped from my mind by the savage need she evoked in me.
Nessie was smiling and I wondered what she was dreaming about, her full pouty lips tilted slightly at the corners as she suddenly began to stir against me. The long elegant leg which had become tangled with mine during the night shifted, brushing quickly against my aching hardness and I was aware of her bare thigh pressing against me in interesting ways.
Slowly she opened her beautiful, sleep heavy eyes and stared up at me, looking drowsy and soft and warm, a faint pink blush tingeing her cheek, as she appeared to notice the way we were lying.
"You're still here" she murmured in awe and gave me a heartbreaking smile. I swallowed and couldn't help smile back at her, it was infectious and I did it just to make her smile wider. Amazing that in the face of such primitive and savage need I could still feel tenderness, the desire to make her happy, to make her smile.
"Ugh yeah, I guess I fell asleep too"
" Don't worry, anyway it was nice having you so close again" she murmured, still coming awake, turning her face towards my chest, rubbing her cheek against my skin like a little cat. I fully expected her to start to purr.
Electricity zinged through me and I stifled a groan as a shaft of sunlight hit us and her skin glowed with a faint ethereal luminescence. Fascinated, I stared unable to help myself; each time I looked at her it was as though I were seeing her for the first time and in that second it would hit me again, that she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I opened my lashes slowly and stirred against the hot, hard and very male body. So it hadn't been another dream. Jake was real and he was here with me. He had stayed. Surreptitiously I glanced at his hard chest, ignoring the funny clenching inside me and gave him a smile to let him know I thrilled I was to see him.
"You're still here," I said quietly, somewhat in awe. I half expected him to be gone like a dream.
"Ugh yeah, I guess I fell asleep too" he told me his own voice slow and thick with sleep, it had to be the sexiest thing I had ever heard, had I been standing my knees would have been weak.
" Don't worry, anyway it was nice having you so close again" I replied and couldn't help but turn my face closer to his chest, relishing the feeling of his bare skin against mine. It was amazing.
He made a strange sound in the back of his throat and he closed his eyes looking pained. I stilled. Had I done something wrong? Maybe he didn't like being touched by me.
Opening my hand slowly, hesitantly, I brushed my fingers over the rapid thrum of his heart, feeling it strong and sure, the rhythm of my life, the heat of his skin as I dragged them slowly, gently, across his perfect pectoral muscles.
"You are so warm" I marveled, my fingers shaking a little as I touched him. He closed his eyes again with a strangled sound and I stilled my hand, feeling in over my head.
I wanted to continue to touch him so badly but he didn't seem to enjoy it. His beautiful face twisted each time I did, as though I were hurting him and he couldn't bear to look at me. Maybe I was being too familiar, too in his face; after all he could not remember me.
This and me, was probably all very new to him. I had taken for granted that he would enjoy being close to me the way he used to, maybe he simply wasn't comfortable. My point was proved when he moved, suddenly rolling from under me and jumping quickly to his feet, presenting me with his strong back, his hands jammed deep in the pockets of his sweats.
"Jake, is everything okay?" I asked hesitantly reaching out a hand to touch his back. He jumped as my skin touched his and stepped forward. The message was clear he didn't like me touching him. Sadness overwhelmed me and I felt the pain of his rejection once more. So it was just like old times, I mused, not everything had changed, he still didn't want me.
The second she began to innocently caress the skin of my chest my body exploded and I had to move her, worried that I could not control this animalistic lust that consumed me. I made a mental note to ask Seth or Sam if imprinting was like this all the time, she was all I could think about, all I wanted. I felt powerless in the grip of such animalistic urges. Dangerous, wolf like, predatory. She was mine and I was more than ready willing and very, very able to claim her, with or without her permission.
Making a noise that was half moan, half groan I turned away from her, so she couldn't see the effect she had one me, couldn't see the heavy bulge straining against the material of the too tight pants I wore. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her. I had the most bizarre urge to protect her at the same time as I wanted to ravage her.
"Jake is everything all right?" she asked me and I felt the briefest touch of her fingers against my back like red-hot pokers. I couldn't help it; I jumped, moving quickly away from her. The urges inside me felt as though they could overwhelm me, all I could think about was turning to her, rolling her beneath me and making her mine, hearing her cry out my name as I slammed into her, feeling her wet heat milk my body as she gasped and cried out.
My heart galloped out of control and I knew that if I just gave in and took what I so desperately wanted, she would not be able to stop me. Tremors, not unlike those when I was about to shift uncontrollably, shook my body as I battled for control. Behind me she was silent and I instantly knew I had hurt her feelings. I had to fight the beast within me.
"I'm sorry Ness," I said as gently as I could around the need grasping me "I just need a little time to get used to this"
"Get used to what?" she asked in a timid quiet voice, approaching me but not quite touching. Yet she was still close enough for her scent to surround me, envelope me. I breathed deeply and the animal inside me reared its head to roar.
"Being this close to another human…I have been a wolf for so long that I don't know how to be close to you…it makes me uncomfortable" I stared at the floor, my back still to her as I willed my body to behave, ignoring the animal within me, ignoring the voice which whispered me to take her, to love her, to mate with her in the most primitive of ways.
"No I'm the one that should be sorry Jacob, I threw myself on you and then demanded you stay with me…of course you need space to get used to being around people again…it's my fault" she whispered and sounded so sad that I felt another wave of guilt that I was too much an animal to control my feelings around her.
"It's okay Nessie, please, please don't get upset" I was gravelly with emotion and desire.
"I'm not upset" she lied; her voice thick with unshed tears and it was the tears that drew me like nothing else could. Slowly I turned to face her, my heart aching at the way she stood uncertainly before me, chewing her lower lips, her bare toes scuffing the floor.
"Yes you are…but don't be please… none of this is your fault…I'm still more animal than human and I'm just havin a hard time adjusting"
"Oh Jake" she murmured and raised her eyes to mine. Once more our gazes clashed and held, it was almost instinctual the way it happened, we could never look away from each other.
Time seemed to stand still; I lost myself in her eyes, seeing my own reflection and the faint sheen of tears, as I'd hurt her feelings. Like a magnet my hand was drawn to the side of her face, my thumb tracing a lone tear down her cheek and she sighed, her eyes closing breaking the sensual spell between us.
"H'lo? Jake? Ness…are you guys up there?" I stepped away quickly, as I heard Seth's voice float up the stairs.
"Up here Seth" I called back hoarsely, putting some distance between us, glad of the reprieve, glad of the chance to control myself.
I made a mental note to kill Seth the next time I saw him alone, talk about timing! My heart was pounding furiously; I could almost still feel the touch of Jake's thumb against my cheek. The way he looked at me had turned my legs to jello; there was real emotion in his eyes, there was something extra there now when he looked at me.
"How are Sam, Emily and the baby?" I heard Jake ask as he crossed the room as far away as he could get from me. I didn't like it, it felt wrong. Stamping down on the instinct to follow I nibbled at a nail.
"It was a little hairy for a while but they managed to stop the bleeding, they gave her a transfusion and baby is doing great…Sam is still at the hospital but I promised him I would go home and clean up today…you two fancy helping me?" he asked, standing beside me, giving me what I called his puppy dog eyes, his arm loosely around my shoulders ruffling my curls affectionately.
I shrugged, glancing at Jake to see what he thought, shocked to see the tight look on his face, a furious glare replacing the look of tenderness which had been there so very recently.
"Sure Seth, whatever" he replied in a low voice, his eyes narrowing as he glared at us some more. Lifting my eyes to Seth's I was surprised to see him grinning at Jake as though there was some joke here, I was not aware of and his hand slid slowly from me.
"I need to go get changed and take a quick shower…will you guys be okay?" I asked doubtfully.
I had some concerns leaving them alone when Jake had such an intense look of hatred on his face. Jake eyes flicked to mine and they warmed for a brief second, before the ice reappeared as he gazed at Seth, nodding slowly. That pained look appeared and I didn't want go.
"Jake?" I asked when he didn't answer me, just carried on staring with that look of pain on his face.
"We'll be fine Ness, go have your shower" Seth answered for him with a grin, his eyes never leaving Jake's. Reluctantly I headed up stairs to shower.
The second I heard Seth climbing up the stairs I wanted to howl in relief for breaking the moment between us. So Nessie was not as immune to me as I thought but given the terrifying feelings and urges I had for her, that wasn't such a good thing. At least if she didn't want me, I only had myself to battle with, if there was a chance she could feel the same, then I would have to fight her feelings too and try not to hurt her.
I watched with narrowed eyes as Seth cosied up to my mate, my Nessie, his arm around her shoulders, his fingers in her hair, hair I had yet to touch. Forcing back the growl I tired to remain in control of myself in the face of his grin as he stroked and petted on her. He knew how I felt; he was doing this on purpose! He found it amusing. Stupid fucking kid, did he not know how dangerous it was? Did he not know that I would more than happily take him apart bit by bit?Did he not realize the animal that always prowled just below the surface of my skin would not care that we had once been friends? That he would just eliminate the competition for his mate without a second thought?
""I need to go get changed and take a quick shower…will you guys be okay?" I heard her ask and my mind immediately conjured up a picture of her in the shower. Hot, wet, naked, soaping herself, touching the curves of her breasts, her nipples rosy and pebbled, glistening with water, her flat stomach, the delve between her thighs as she sighed and moaned. I didn't hear Seth reply but all I knew was that she had gone from the room and Seth was grinning at me again.
He was up against the wall, my hands around his throat in less than a heartbeat, as I snarled viciously at him.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing Seth…do you know how easy it would be for me to kill you" I said in his ear, tightening my hold just a little, showing him, reminding him, letting him have just a taste of my alpha.
"Take it easy Jake, she's yours, everybody knows that…it's just amusing to watch," he said but his eyes were a little frightened.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I reared back to look at him but didn't let him go. The alpha, the animal in me demanded he recognize my authority and keep his hands and eyes off my mate.
"You imprinted again right?"
"Again? I've done this with someone else? The leech said it was a once in the lifetime kind of thing" The thought made me sick, I thought that this was unique and special, how could I feel this way about anyone else?
"You imprinted on Nessie the day she was born…didn't Edward tell you?"
That shocked me and I released him. I had imprinted in Nessie already? The day she was born? I had felt like this about a child? About a newborn? I was sick to my stomach. I was a pervert. Biting back the bile that rose in my throat I stared at Seth.
"No he didn't fuckin tell me… would you tell a temperamental new wolf that he was a pervert?" I growled beginning to pace up and down as shudders took over my body.
"Pervert…Jake what the hell are you talking about?"
"I've known her for less than 24 hours and the way I feel about her well...it's intense and very… animalistic…I have these urges, desires, needs" I confessed in a broken whisper, more surprised than ever when he threw back his head and laughed at me.
"It's not funny Seth…I could hurt her…"
"Jake this is normal, well I think…Sam said that it's possible to imprint twice on the same person…you imprinted on her when she was born and you became her best friend, you did whatever it took to make her happy… all you wanted was for her to be happy no matter what. There are some things you really need to see, like the time you played dress up and Ness made you up like a princess or when you had all her Barbie's over for a tea party, ask her, she'll show you…. But now she's older you imprinted again and how you see her has changed…you see her more as a mate than a child to be loved and protected…your hormones are just a little out of whack because this is all so new for you"
"This is normal…wanting to throw her down and …mate with her?" I said for want of a less graphic term, Nessie didn't deserve that to be reduced to being talked about like a piece of meat.
He shrugged but the knowing smile never left his face "You and Nessie are an usual case but you are not the first…no one really knows what is meant to happen but you are not and have never been a pervert Jake…you've always loved Nessie but just in a different way…this. … Extreme reaction you have to her could fade away in time or it could stay the same… but what you do about it is up to you"
"I'm not going to do anything about it," I said rubbing my hands through my hair with a slight growl.
"You're not…but this is what you want…she's what you want"
"Edward told me in no uncertain terms to keep my hands and my feelings to myself…she's still a child Seth I can't inflict…this on her, it's not right"
"Jake I've known you long enough to know that what you feel for her now, however… raw… and passionate… it's not the sum total of your feelings…you've always loved her Jake, everyone knows it…well everyone except Nessie herself… but don't turn away from her now because you think there is something wrong with you"
I looked down at the teenager before me, wondering how he could be so young yet so wise at the same time. His words surprised me but I deep down I knew I could not put her in that position, I couldn't risk hurting her with the depth of my need. Shaking my head I dropped to the sofa and looked over at him, speaking through clenched teeth.
"I can't take the risk of hurting her Seth…but for your own sake…keep your distance...this thing tends to make me possessive and I could hurt you too"
Seth simply smiled but it was bitter "I think you're making a mistake Jake, but if that's how you feel than maybe I should give you some advice…keep your distance if you can't keep your hands to yourself or you will hurt her and I don't just mean physically"
I stared down at my hands knowing he was right, she was too much temptation and I wasn't sure I had the strength to resist her. If I didn't manage to resist then I would surely end up hurting her, unable to control the need I had for her but if I did resist, she would be hurt, broken and rejected. I was caught between a rock and a hard on. Oh Fuck it!
Just another quick A/N from me, the reason I put in the conversation with Seth was to show that there is a reason why Jake is acting like a dog that wants to hump someone's leg...it will not all be about how badly he needs to "mate" with her, this is simply a hormonal wolfish reaction that should hopefully settle down and we will see the fluffy Jake emerging for a while -thats if he lets me write it, I think he kind of likes being a horn dog ;)...Toodles. Tink XX