Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own the Twilight Saga. If I did, many things would be different. For example, the room I'm in right now would be twice it's size, my car wouldn't be broken.
So this is my first Twilight Fanfiction I have done! Woo! I told myself that I would only read twilight fanfiction and just stick to my other fanfiction stories that I'm writing, but my mind had other ideas. This storyline just wouldn't quit bugging me, it screamed to be written. And yes, I used Edward's 'leaving speech' from the New Moon book but everything else is different. Now that my rambling is done…for now, enjoy!
Plot: Set during New Moon when Edward left. What if Bella did something that forced Edward to stay. Would they still have a chance?
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
It had been two weeks since my 18th birthday. Edward seemed to be brooding more than usual, as if in deep thought. I knew Jasper's reaction had caused things to be tensed, but I had tried to brush the horrible accident under the rug. Tried but it seemed to fail so far.
Jasper had been apologetic and kept his distance whenever I was over at the Cullens. But Edward always seemed to find random things for us to do other than going over to his house. I was starting to feel homesick, I missed everyone, even Rosalie.
It was Saturday, and I was in my room waiting for Edward to come over like he usually does. I had the window open so he could bypass the unpleasantness that is Charlie. He has yet to warm up to Edward completely. Hearing a knock at the door, I'm puzzled. I don't know who would have been there, everyone usually calls before showing up.
Running down the steps without falling, a fact I'm proud of, I go to the door. Opening it, Edward stands before me, topaz eyes downcast in contemplation, or planning.
"Hey Edward! The window was open, as always." I smile at him, stepping up to kiss him. Turning his head slightly, my kiss misses his lips, landing rejectedly on his cheek. I back up and attempt at hiding my hurt.
"Uh. I wanted to talk to you, I think we should go for a walk." Edward suggested. He had not even taken a step in the house.
"Of course. You can always talk to me, about anything. Let me just grab something." I could feel a foreboding, horrific feeling wash over me. I walked slowly to the kitchen and grabbed my purse and an apple. I figured we'd be gone for awhile and I was kind of hungry.
My hands were trembling with anticipation of this 'talk' and I mindless shoved things from the counter into my bag. It would be a miracle if the apple even made it to the bag.
"Are you almost done Bella?" Edward called anxiously. His stance so far had been chilly, and that frightened her, more than him being a vampire ever could.
"Yes, I'm coming." I walk back to the door, locking it behind me. "Miss me?" I try to ease the stifling atmosphere. Instead of the predicted reply, Edward simply offered a strained smile. Nothing resembling that crooked smile that drove me wild.
We walked in the woods in silence for a while. Noticing my stomach growling, I reached into my canvas bag for the apple. My hand rested on a sharp object. Looking down I realize what my finger touched. 'Why is there a knife in my bag? I really must have not been thinking about anything other than Edward's behavior in the kitchen.' I thought.
"What's wrong? Is everything alright?" Edward asked thoughtfully. But as soon as he asked he seemed to regret sounding so caring.
"Oh nothing is wrong. Physically anyway." I muttered, berating myself as I really didn't want him to hear that last part. My heart felt as though it were being torn out, ripped into a million pieces and spit on. I could sense the kiss of death coming. I don't know why I am so surprised. In fact I should be surprised he stayed this long.
'No, don't jump to conclusions Bella! He would never leave you. He had spoken so passionately about how it would hurt to leave me. Those words couldn't have been a lie. Couldn't have been.' I tried to give myself a pep talk. Never been to big on those. But I am stubborn, and I'm not gonna give up without a fight. Even if it's the death of me.
We came to a stop, and he turned to me. He took a deep, unneeded breath. Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.
"Okay let's talk," I said it sounded braver than it felt.
He took a deep breath again. "Bella, we're leaving." I took a deep breath too. This was an acceptable option. I was expecting much worse. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask.
"Why now? Another year?"
"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for 30, and he's claiming 33 now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace.
Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. He stared back coldly. With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood.
"When you say we," I whispered.
"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct. I shook my head and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.
"Okay, I'll come with you."
"You can't, Bella. Where we're going, it's not the right place for you."
"Where you are is the right place for me."
"I'm no good for you, Bella."
"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."
"My world is not for you." He said grimly. Whatever was said next, fell on deaf ears, I was having difficulty comprehending what he was truly saying. Apparently my voice betrayed me, and a conversation flowed painfully between us. Not coming into focus until his next words.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words so slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was realing saying.
"You, don't, want me?" I chocked out the words. I know I must have heard wrong, through my pitifully human ears.
"No. Of course I'll always love you in a way. But I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. You're not good for me." He turned his earlier words around and I had no argument. My hand was still resting on that misplaced knife.
I stood there for a few painstaking moments, each second passing as though I stabbed myself with that very knife. Wait. I can't let Edward leave me. I would die without him. I rather have this cold shell I called my love, than a ghost of memories. He appears to be saying something. Parting words perhaps. I stop him, reaching to touch his arm briefly with my free hand.
"What about what you said before. About breaking all the rules, not having the strength to stay away from me? Well, that wasn't one sided Edward. I feel just as strongly. And I refuse to let you walk away so easily dammit!" His eyes widened, I hadn't been one to curse. But this was the time for exceptions. Confusion rang through his mind.
Impulsively, I pull out the knife, the knife that would ironically be my saving grace from a world of pain. He looked at me, thinking I was delirious. I had never thought so clearly before.
"I'm sorry, Bella, I know this is hard. And you may hate me. So be it. But you and I know that knife won't do anything but sprain your wrist most likely." He was taking steps away from me, not in fear of me, but in detachment.
"Oh, I know. I don't plan on spraining my wrist either." My voice held through, not betraying my true state of mind. Pulling the knife, so the hand that held it was parallel in my shoulder, it appeared that it was meant to strike Edward. One shot was all I had, I was forced to count on shock and surprise to be enough against Edward's speed.
Quickly without another thought, I thrusted the knife with all my might, crashing it unto my broken heart. Releasing the knife, I begin my welcomed fall to the cold hard ground. Only to be caught by what could pretty surely be assumed as the last person I would ever lay eyes on. Dying with the face of your love in your eyes was the most blessed way to go. For me at least.
He cradled my body, heaving with labored breaths. Sure it was painful, but not as painful and impossible as a life without Edward. Why I was still alive was beyond me. Wasn't a stab wound to the heart supposed to be a sure kill? Edward's eyes were pained and he knew there was no time for my survival. I almost felt sorrowful, I had placed this burden on him for all of eternity. To live a life knowing he was the cause of my death. But then again he doesn't want me, he more than confirmed that what seemed like hours ago.
His voice was becoming even more distant as time passed. He seemed to be begging me to live, questioning my motives, even apologizing. I could now feel my heart pumping slower. Maybe this wasn't such a good way to die. Looking back into Edward's eyes I dismiss that moment of doubt. Vampires are easily distracted, he will get over me, get over this.
I was fading, I could tell. Heading to that 'white light'. I didn't try to fight. But suddenly, I hear a sorrowful apology again from Edward. "I'm so sorry."
And then a piercing pain shoots through my neck, blinding the pain of the stab wound. Edward has bitten me.
A/N: So btw, the title is from a song by John Mayer. I was stuck with the title, so I listened to my ipod on shuffle mode and bingo. I know this was probably way too dramatic and your all like "OMG Bella would not try and kill herself like that!" But whatev, I couldn't help but think about this possibility and what could result after. So should I continue? I need at least 10 reviews to continue. I know it's a lot to ask, but I'm already indebted to 2 other stories, and it is suicide to start another story now…but I had to at least start it to relieve the pressure it was putting on my brain. LOL! Enough ranting, adios!