YO. How's you guys? Good? Woo.

Oh dear god, I am in love with Ryan Ross atm. He is so amazing. Goddamn.

Anywhooooo, we'll get onto the chapt. ;)

"Are you guys sure about this?" Lily asked nervously, sitting in the almost empty Hog's Head, a shiny tiara on her head and wearing a bright pink dress, both of which were forced upon her by Izzie and Kathy, who were sitting either side of her and grinning widely.

"I can't believe you're already of age Lily!" exclaimed Kathy, sidestepping Lily's question.

"You can do magic outside of school!" Izzie gasped, "Wow, think of all the mischief we could get up to,"

"Oh good god, don't be a marauder," Lily chuckled, as they ordered their drinks.

"Three cosmopolitans," Kathy said, "It's a muggle drink. This is the only place I know that serves them! And they're pink, to match your dress!"

"And plenty of vodka," added Izzie.

"They won't get me too drunk, will they?" she asked, as she gingerly sipped at the fancy cocktail.

"Of course not, dear Lilykins," Izzie smiled, exchanging a devilish grin with Kathy.


"But why can't we go," whined James, thumping his fists childishly and looking up at Remus, from the common room floor.

"For the eleventh time, they said very clearly, no boys," Remus said, sitting in an armchair and not even bothering to look up from the essay he was writing.

"Stupid bitches," sighed Sirius, who'd given up after six or so rejections. James, ever the persistent one, groaned emphatically and put his head on Remus' knee, trying to talk him round.

"They can't stop us from going to Hogsmeade," he pointed out, and Sirius looked up eagerly.

"Exactly," he agreed, "It's a free country,"

"They can't stop you, but they can stab you to death with their extremely sharp high heels, if you ruin Lily's birthday," Remus said, cringing and biting his lip, as he realised he'd said too much.

"IT'S HER BIRTHDAY?!" exclaimed James, as Sirius gasped dramatically.

"I thought they just felt like getting pissed," he said stupidly, cocking his head to one side.

"OH MY GOD!" James yelled, banging his head on the table, "How could I forget?!"

"Actually, I don't think she particularly wanted you to remember," Remus pointed out, under his breath.

"Oh, I am the world's worst boyfriend," he groaned.

"Don't be silly, you can celebrate it tomorrow,"

"Why didn't she want us to know, anyway?" asked Sirius.

"'Cause you'd make too big a deal out of it," Remus explained.

"No we wouldn't!"

"Erm, take a look at James," he said, raising an eyebrow, and they turned to look at James who was pacing in front of the fire, trying to think of presents for Lily.

"Well, I could buy her a car, but I don't think she can drive. A broomstick? No, she hates flying..." he muttered to himself, and Remus and Sirius exchanged smirks.

"Prongs, this is the exact reason why she didn't want you to know about her birthday!"

"She doesn't want any presents?" asked James, looking crestfallen.

"No," he shook his head, and James sighed dejectedly, collapsing into a chair.

"Where's the fun in that?!" he exclaimed, flicking through a magazine on the table and looking for gift ideas.

"James, just put the magazine down, and pretend like you just forgot about her birthday,"

"Did she just expect us to forget her birthday, though," frowned Sirius, "Like, one minute she's sixteen, and the next she's seventeen?"

"Oh my god yeah, she's coming of age today and all," James gasped, "Lucky thing!"

"Hey, I'm seventeen too!" Remus protested.

"Just wait 'til the next holidays, we're going to have so much fun with these two doing all their magic!" grinned Sirius.

"Oh but it's silly old Remus though," James pointed out, "He's too much of a loser to have fun, such as going to Hogsmeade, for example..."

He looked up at Remus hopefully, wondering if his words had the desired effect.

"James, just give up, I am never going to let you leave," Remus chuckled, standing up and getting ready to go do patrols of the corridors.

"Spoilsport!" James called after him.


"Izzie, you are so right," exclaimed Lily, adjusting her wonky tiara, "I feel so not drunk!"

"Me too!" gasped Izzie, running a hand through her tousled hair.

"Well, I'm the undrunkiest!" giggled Kathy, downing her drink and shoving another into Lily's hand.

"We have had too many cocktails," chuckled Izzie, draining her glass and gesturing for Abeforth to bring her another.

"But it's okay," Lily said, eyes wide as she tried very hard to keep her face straight, "Because these drinks," – she pointed to her glass – "they make us undrunk,"

"They're amazing!" gasped Kathy, looking closely at the swirly pink liquid.

"They. Are. Magic." Izzie whispered dramatically, and they all burst into giggles as a weary Aberforth approached them.

"Alright ladies, closing time," he said, throwing a towel over his shoulder, "Go home,"

"No more magic cocktails?" pouted Lily, and he shook his head, privately grateful.

"'Fraid not," he said, ushering them towards the door.

"Hehe, I have a hilarious joke," Izzie giggled, holding up her finger for silence, "What did the Spanish fireman call his children?"

"Why is he Spanish?" asked Kathy.

"Why is he a fireman?" asked Lily.

"It's very important to the joke!" Izzie exclaimed, as they walked along the street.

"Oh, well that makes sense then!"

"Right, so anyway, he names his children..." she paused for dramatic effect, "Jose and Hose B!"

They stared at her blankly.

"Why would he do that? He's a fireman!" Lily frowned, looking bewildered.

"A Spanish fireman," Kathy added, and the two of them burst into giggles.

"No, it's a joke!" Izzie explained, stamping her feet, "It's funny!"

"I don't get it," Lily said, looking crestfallen.

"It's okay Lily, it's a very complicated joke," Kathy said, patting Lily on the back, as they walked through the passageway into the school.

"You two are so strupid," Izzie groaned, putting her arms around their shoulders.

"You mean, stupid," corrected Lily, smugly.

"Yeah, that's the one,"

"Lily! You can do magic outside of school now!" Kathy exclaimed, for the fifth time that night.

"Yay!" Lily yelled, running towards a window and leaning all the way out of it, "Look, I'm out of school! I can do magic!"

"I am so jealous!" Izzie whined, "I wanna lean out of the window and do magic!"

"I can do more than that," Lily boasted, "I can run around outside and do magic!"

"Lucky!" the others chorused, as a pair of footsteps could be heard approaching.

"Shhh," Lily gasped, "It's a prefect!"

"Oh no, prefects are awful!" Kathy gasped, and Lily prodded her.

"Hey, I'm a prefect!" she protested, looking for a place to hide.

"Oh good god, you're absolutely hammered," came a voice, as Remus appeared around the corner.

"AAARGH, IT'S REMUS!" screamed Izzie, and the three girls ran yelling in the opposite direction, waving their arms in the air, maniacally.

"Erm – be careful," Remus called, one eyebrow raised sceptically, as he followed after them.

"REMUS IS A BEAST!" they yelled simultaneously, staggering along in their high heels.

"Nearly there," Kathy slurred, as they neared the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Password," she said wearily, and they looked at each other, baffled.

"Um... I don't think we know the password at this particular moment," Lily explained, giggling at random intervals, "But you can ask us later, and I'm sure we'll know,"

"Can't let you in without the password," the fat lady shrugged, and they moaned unhappily.

"Nitwit," Remus called, jogging along behind them, and they latched themselves onto him, grinning widely.

"Remus, you saved the day baby!" Izzie beamed, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"You are amazing," Kathy agreed, kissing his other cheek.

"Wait for me," mumbled Lily, as she hovered in the portrait hole, apparently wedged in with her puffy dress and crown. Remus made to help her, but the other girls just giggled and pulled him towards the girls dormitories, sticking their tongues out at Lily, over their shoulders.

"Lily?" came a voice from the corner, and Lily looked up helplessly. She had thought the common room was empty, but James was emerging from where he was sitting and scribbling at an essay.

"Jamesie, I seem to be a leeeeeeeetle bit stuck," she said, trying to sound as sober as possible.

"How much have you been drinking?" he asked, taking her arms and pulling her through, and she collapsed onto him in a fit of giggles.

"We drank magic cocktails," she said excitedly, squealing and jumping up and down.

"Right..." he cocked an eyebrow, "I think you need to sit down,"

"Okidoke," she said, as he steered her towards the sofas, struggling to get her to walk in a straight line.

"Lily, you need to – woah!" he exclaimed, as she made to sit down but completely missed the seat, and ended up collapsed on the floor.

She burst into giggles, yet again, and he rolled his eyes in amusement.

"Need some help?" he asked, as he sat down on the sofa.

"Nope," she shook her head emphatically, as she propped herself up on her knees, looking up at James.

"Seriously Lily, I think you need to get to sleep," he pointed out, a worried expression on her face.

"Jamesie, Jamesie, Jamesie, you can't tell me what to do!" she laughed, putting a hand on his knee, "I am seventeen now! I'm a laaayyydeeee!"

"I know you are," he smiled, "But even ladies need to sleep. Especially at one in the morning,"

"You are such a hypopite – no, a gypocrite – shit, I mean, you're such a hypagit," she frowned, desperately trying to get her words right, "It's a really hard word to say,"

"I know it is," he chuckled, and she grinned happily.

"Wow, James you're so pretty," she gasped, taking his face in her hands.

"Um, thanks," he laughed uneasily, as she seemed quite mesmerised by his face.

"Seriously, it's so pretty," she giggled, "But speaking of Sirius, his face is prettier!"

"Oh, I feel flattered," he scoffed, and she squealed excitedly.

"And then there's Remus," she said thoughtfully, "Oh, he's gorgeous!"

"Hey! Stop that!" he protested, and she giggled childishly.

"Jamesie, I'm only kidding," she said, as though it was obvious, "You're the prettiest of the pretty ones!"

"Why thank you,"

"No problemo!"

"Alright dear, you need to get to bed," he sighed, standing up and taking her hand, pulling her up with him.

"With you?" she said, in what she thought was a seductive voice, putting her hand on his chest.

"Erm, no, maybe not," he said nervously, blushing, and she leapt towards him, knocking him back to the sofa and kissing him passionately.

"Ok – Lily – you need to – Lily, get off – come on, stop – " he mumbled between kisses, trying to prise her away from him.

"I don't wanna stop," she giggled, fiddling with the top few buttons of his shirt.

"Okay, Lily, you're very drunk, and you need to stop, or you'll regret this in the morning," he said, in a pained voice, struggling to move her legs from around his waist.

"I'm not drunk," she whined, banging her fists on his chest, and he grabbed hold of them, laughing.

"Of course not, but I still think you should go upstairs," he sighed reluctantly, trying to stop himself from kissing her again.

"Only if you come with me," she said, raising an eyebrow, and tugging on his hand.

"Fine," he relented, humouring her, and she squealed, leading him towards the dormitory. As they walked up the staircase, they met a very weary looking Remus coming back down the other way.

"Gimme some help, would you?" James pleaded, struggling to keep Lily upright.

"No way," Remus shook his head violently, looking horror-struck, "I've had it up to here with drunk chicks. Izzie and Kathy only just fell asleep. They insisted I waited until they did,"

"Poor you," James laughed, as Lily leaned against him, sleepily.

"Jamesie, I thought we were going upstairs," she moaned, and James sighed.

"Right you are Lilykins," he nodded, leading her upwards as Remus walked back down, shaking his head in a mixture of fatigue and amusement.

As they entered the dormitory, Lily pushed James onto her bed, grinning devilishly.

"No Lily, now is not the time," he sighed, pushing her away from her and rummaging in her trunk for some pyjamas.

"Why not?" she asked innocently, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Because, you are well and truly hammered, my dear," he said, in a very matter-of-fact voice, and she frowned, her eyebrows furrowed.

"What does hammered mean?" she enquired, as James thrust a pair of pink and grey pyjama bottoms and a baggy t-shirt her way.

"Drunk," he said distractedly, biting his lip as she stubbornly ignored the clothes sitting on her lap. "Lily, get into your pyjamas, will you?"

"Nahh," she murmured, sticking her tongue out at him, and he sighed heavily.

"Fine, go to sleep in your dress. Get stabbed to death by that zipper," he said, cocking an eyebrow, and she frowned, deep in thought.

"Maybe I will wear these thingies," she said, inspecting the pyjamas with a worried expression, as though she was beginning to regret her stubbornness.

"Alright, go for it," James chuckled, drawing the curtains around her to give her privacy. He rolled his eyes and hovered beside the bed, listening out for any trouble she may have gotten into.

After a few minutes of silence, he raised an eyebrow and peeked through the curtains apprehensively, where Lily was passed out on the bed, thankfully in her pyjamas, her dress crumpled up in the corner.

"Honestly," James sighed, trying to prise the covers out from under her, and draping them over her hunched body. He took the dress and folded it, before kissing her lightly on the head.

She mumbled happily in her sleep, a small smile on her face, as he walked out of the room, shaking his head in amusement.

Woo. That was fun/odd.
Aha, spanish fireman joke. That has to be the funniest joke around.
And ALSO, woop, i just brought Sims 3. It's very good, i reccommend :)
Anyway, 1260 reviews?
Ya, sounds gooood.
Mucho amorrrrr.
Ash x