Title: Story of My Life

Genre: General

Pairing: Hints of Castle/Beckett

Author's Note: First shot at a Castle story. It's supposed to be a one-shot, but I may add to it depending on the reviews. So please, R+R!

April 24, 2009:

So there's this guy...and I think I kind of like him. Who am I kidding? This is sappy. I've got no idea why I'm writing this diary. I haven't touched it since college, and I'm randomly deciding to write in it. Like I've got nothing better to do with my life. I mean, there's paperwork, cleaning, laundry...okay, yeah, the diary's the most exciting thing I get to do right now. There's no reason for me to be writing except Castle's got me thinking about it. In college, I always wondered what it would be like to be published. I always thought I was too boring to come up with a book, but I guess I'm not too boring to become a character in someone else's books. Damn him. Damn Nikki Heat. Damn the fact that I actually enjoy being his center of attention. Dear God, why am I writing all of this? I don't really know. The pen is in my hand, and the words are just flowing. I'm going to look back on this in thirty years and think I'm crazier than I already am.

Why? Why do I actually like him? Why do I enjoy his random kisses on my cheek? Why do I appreciate his compliments and gifts and hate them when other people do it? Why can I not stay angry at his stupid antics? Why must I smile every time that he does? Why does he make me smile with his stupid comments? Why do I not mind him nosing in on everything I do? Why did I not mind breakfast with him and his family? Why did I not mind him spinning me around a dance floor? Why, why why?! Why must I actually like him? Why do I pretend I don't? Why do I think he likes me? Hell, why me?

I'm not much to look at, and I'm a tomboy. I don't dress sexy, I rarely wear skirts. I do a man's job and I lead a team of men. I'm basically a man with breasts -- and not the freaky kind of men with breasts. Why am I explaining this to myself? I'm losing my mind. That's all there is to it. I'm going crazy, and I'm going crazy over him. He's the one I want to be with, and both of us are just dancing around the thought of it. Why must this be difficult? I think it's official. I, Detective Kate Beckett, am falling for one, Richard Castle, without even dating him. Hmm, and to think that I didn't want him sticking around. This might just be my best bet on getting somewhere. I might just have something to look forward to in my life.

So yeah, thanks diary. I needed this.

33 Always,

Kate...no, Katie.