The Five Agent Ps
"Are we there yet mom?" Phineas asks his mom. He, his family and their friends plus Stacy were sitting in the backseats of the moving car with their seatbelts on. Perry was snoozing on the floor.
"Not yet dear." Lynda answered.
"We should be at the Central Park Zoo real soon." Lawrence replied on the steering wheel. Phineas turned to his stepbrother.
"Ferb." He said. "How soon is soon?"
. "Well since we've been on the road an hour already, and it takes an hour and a half to get there; I conclude we'll get there in half an hour." Ferb told him.
"Awesome!" Phineas said.
"Wow." Baljeet observed. "Phineas, your stepbrother sure is smart. I wonder if one of the animals will be smarter then Ferb is."
"I doubt it." Phineas told him. "Ferb is pretty smart; he's the smartest guy I know. I can't imagine anyone smarter." Phineas then patted Ferb's soldier.
"Maybe my M & M cookie is smarter." Baljeet suggested about to take a bite into it when Buford snatched it away.
"Hay that was mine!"
"Oh yeah." Buford challenged and ate and swallowed it down. "If it was so smart why did it allow me to eat it huh?"
"Uh because it's food?" Baljeet answered. "It's edible so it's supposed to be eaten!"
"It might be dumb but it sure is tasty!"
"Ohhhh I can't wait to get to the zoo!" Isabella said. ""Outings are always a blast when they're with your friends, right Phineas?"
"Precisely Isabella!" Phineas agreed. "The zoo is going to be so cool, seeing all of those animals, besides our usual platypus." He picked up Perry who was now awake. "Isn't that right Perry?" Perry just chattered in agreement. The boy sat the platypus down and patted him. "You'll like the zoo, I know you will. You're a good platypus Perry, so good." Perry laid back down and slept some more.
"Hey I know!" Phineas told them. "Let's sing 100 Bottles of Orange Sodas on the Wall to kill the time."
"Good idea Phinaeas!" Isabella agreed.
"Why do we want to kill time?" Baljeet wanted to know. "What did time ever do to us?"
"It made us wait in this car for hours." Buford told him. "Now sing or I'll kill you pipsqueak!"
"Okay." Phineas grabbed his guitar and stung it. "I'll start, ready? 3, 2, 1." All of them except Perry, Candace, Lawrence, Stacy, and Linda began to sing.
"100 bottles of orange sodas on the wall. Take one down, pass it around; 99 bottles of orange sodas on the wall!"
As they sang Stacy whispered to Candace.
"So Candace, when will we get there?" Candace sighed.
"Well until we get there, let's sing along!"
"Stacy, this is a kid's song and we're teenager, so we better not… Stacy?" She then saw Stacy joining in at the 98th bottle. Candace groaned.
"So mom are we there yet?" Candace wanted to know.
"Sweetie don't ask that kiddie question." Lynda replied. "Just sit back, relax, and sing with your brothers and friends; we'll be there soon." Candace groaned again. How soon was soon? She just looked out the window of the car as New York City landscape rolled past.
At the zoo the penguins were all getting ready for the clock to chime 10 AM, signaling the zoo's gates could open, and people could swarm in and get their cameras ready and to see every animal that they could before they'd have to leave. Skipper was checking to see that they were all ready.
"Okay troops!" He told them. "The gates are going to open in… Kowalski, how much time do we have?" Kowalski looked at the clock tower. It read 9:56.
"We have precisely 4 minutes Skipper." He answered.
"Ok men; let's see how we got our selves prepared shall we?" The three penguins saluted as Skipper checked them out.
"Kowalski good, Private good, Rico…" Seaweed and mud ware sticking on Rico's body. Skipper smelled the foul smell and plugged his beak.
"That's foul Rico!" Skipper told him. "You've been playing in the sewer waters again haven't you?"
"Gar ha!" Rico nodded with his goofy grin on his face. Skipper slapped his face with his flipper.
"Fine, just go and wash up in the pool. But be quick about it!" Rico nodded and then burped up his bath towl, brush, and his bar of soap. He then grabbed them with his flippers, went to the side, and jumped in the penguin pool. He swam to a corner, jumped and landed, and washed himself off.
"Skipper." Private spoke up.
"Talk Private." Skipper said.
"Well I just want to tell you that I think you are the best leader ever! You aren't afraid of a challenge and you always make sure that no one in the group gets left behind; and whenever we're sad, you always seem to help us make us feel better. You always make sure everyone's doing their jobs, and you think of others before yourself. I say that's some pretty good leadership Skipper!"
"Why thanks Private. You know my motto." Private looked puzzled.
"Uh, just smile and wave?"
"No Private. The other motto, try again."
"Uh, don't go home with strangers?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full?" Kowalski joined in.
"Those human kids/teens should always stay in school?"
"No, well I guess that's a good thing to do like the others. But no; my new motto is no penguin gets left behind."
"Oh that's a good new motto Skipper!" Private told him. I like that one."
"Totally." Kowalski agreed. "I like that motto too."
"Thanks guys." Skipper said. "I'm glad you like…"
"I know what motto you should have!" King Julen called from their pen. Skipper looked at the lemurs.
"Your motto should be respect and obey the lemur with the crown on his head! Like it? I made it up myself."
"Ooooooh I like that motto." Mort said. "And FEET!" He went and clinged on the king lemur's foot.
"Mort how many times do I have to tell you?" Julien kicked Mort off of his feet. "My kingly feet shall not be touched, except for me and Maurice when he's giving me my feet rubbing."
"Sorry." Mort apologized.
"Hey! That's your motto!" Skipper reminded Julien.
"I know." He said. "I decided to be nice for a change and let your guys share my motto with me, what do you think?" Skipper growled in his throat and turned to his men.
"You can keep your motto ring tail, and we'll keep ours."
"Okay Penguin, but I really think you should share my motto. It's pretty catchy if you ask me."
"Uh King Julien the gates are opening." Maurice pointed out. Sure enough the zoo gates were opening when the clock chimed 10, and piles of people came pouring out.
"Oh goody!" King Julien cheered. "Time for people to appreciate a very special lemur, me!"
Rico came back, and went beside his friends when he was all cleaned.
"All right men." Skipper said as the penguins stood in their positions. "You know what the motto is."
"No penguin gets left behind Skipper?" Private guessed.
"No just smile and wave boys, smile and wave." The penguins did what they were told as people came to see them and flashed their cameras.
"Where to first kids?" Lynda asked as they entered the zoo. "The monkeys, the lemurs, or the penguins?"
"Wasn't there a lion, a zebra, a giraffe, and a hippo exhibit mom?" Phineas asked his mom.
was honey." Lynda answered. "But the zoo says that they
mysteriously disappeared one day in the waters of Madagascar and were
never found after that."
"Maybe the penguins scared them off." Baljeet suggested.
"Yeah right!" Buford said. "Penguins aren't scary. They're cute and cuddly."
"Well maybe at night or when no one's looking they turn into fighting penguins and kick butt."
"Yeah, and Perry is really a secret agent of a secret origination and kicks his nemesis's butt! Yeah right."
"No maybe it's true." Phineas said. He looked at Perry. "Perry, are you a secret agent of an organization that can kick butt?" Perry shook his head.
"I know you're not." He turned to his friends at they walked towards the penguins. "See? Perry's not an agent fighting evil. He's just our normal do nothing all day pet platypus."
"Yeah." Buford agreed. "See Baljeet? Perry's not an agent and that's that."
"But if he's a secret agent, he might be keeping it a secret to protect his title."
"Yeah right, Baljeet you are so blind sometimes."
"I'm just imagining, can't a boy have an imagination?"
"Every boy except you. Now let see some penguins catch some fish in the air huh?"
As soon as the party left, Perry sighed in relief. Phrew that was a close one! He then put on his fedora, looked around, and then felt his Blackberry vibrating. He untied it from his belt on his foot and looked at it. It was odd that nobody ever realized there was a little Blackberry on his left foot ever since they left. He read it, it read "Meet me in the penguin house/den/thingy. Just meet me where the penguins sleep at night. Signed MM"
Perry then put it away in the secret compartment of his hat. After putting his fedora back on his head, he went into the penguin pool and landed near the entrance of the den and went inside.
He was shocked to see a little penguin going in the fridge. When Private looked at Perry, he dropped his fish bucket and screamed. Perry looked at him wide eyed, then realized three more penguins were coming.
"Ok, what on earth is going on?" Skipper commanded to know.
"W-we have an intruder sir; and it's not the lemurs this time."
"Get a hold of yourself man, what are you…" He looked at the platypus and screamed with Rico, Private, and Kowalski. They stopped to catch their breaths.
"As you were men."
"Affirmative Skipper." Said Kowalski.
"Right!" Private added. Then they all screamed again. Perry rolled his eyes. The TV flickered on and Major Monogram showed up.
"Sorry to keep you waiting Agent P." He said. "I was…" He then screamed when he saw the penguins. The penguins screamed louder.
"What is it sir?" Karl wanted to know, coming into view. He saw them, screamed, now they were all screaming except Perry. Perry just sighed, looking rather annoyed.
A few seconds later, all of them stopped screaming and took some breaths.
"Now Karl, where were we?" Monogram asked.
""I think we were screaming." Karl answered. Monogram.
"That's rubbish Karl." Monogram responded. "Now why on earth were we all screaming except Agent P?"
"Uh I think we screamed because..." Monogram thought about this.
"Hmmmm, we weren't screaming for inter piece."
"Ra! Ra!" Rico jumped up raising his hand, and then vomited vanilla ice cream with colorful sprinkles sprinkled all over it. Rico looked excited, and put on a bib and grabbed his spoon.
"No no, we weren't screaming for ice cream, it was something else." Rico looked disappointed as he put his spoon and bib away.
"Uh I think we were screaming because we were all so unexpected of all of our presence." Kolowski suggested.
"Oh yeah." Monogram remembered.
"No prob." Kowalski said. "It's a real honor for me to be wise." He saluted.
"Uh…, sure it is." Monogram told him. "Now back to screaming."
When they were all screaming again, Perry sighed again; he decided he had far more better stuff to do then watch his boss and intern scream with some penguins they never met before, so he began to leave. They stopped screaming and looked at the retreating platypus.
"Wait Agent P," Monogram said. "I wasn't screaming, Karl was." Perry stopped.
"Hay!" Karl snapped.
"Well you were Karl."
"But you were screaming too sir, we all were except for Agent P."
"Yeah well, you were screaming like a girl."
"No I wasn't, you were!" As they were auguring, the penguins got their spoons and ate some of the ice cream.
"Well okay, maybe I was but…" Perry began to walk out again.
"No stay Agent P." Monogram told the platypus. "We won't scream again and talk about girly screams; I promise. Just turn around and come back for your assignment."
"Don't go Agent P." Karl said. "We'll be good." Perry turned around and walked back to the monitor.
"Yeah, join the party platypus stranger!" Private piped up. He held up his ice cream covered spoon. "Care for ice cream? It's real good." Perry just eyed Private and looked up at his boss.
"Oh yeah your assignment." Monogram remembered and read his paper. "Now let's see, wake up, shower, wake up Karl, eat breakfast, go to ballet class, go and shop for some shoes for the Championship next weekend, go to zoo, give…"
"That doesn't sound like a mission." Private interrupted.
"Yeah, are you sure you're not reading a To Do List?" Skipper quizzed. Monogram looked at what he was reading; indeed it was his to do list.
"Oops, sorry Agent P." He threw that aside and got his correct paper. "My bad."
"You do ballet sir?" Karl wanted to know.
"No! I uh, watch my niece perform."
"You don't have a niece."
"Uh anyways." He turned to Perry. "Agent P, Dr. Doofenshirz is up to no good like always. He's kidnapped some lions and…"
"Uh sir, Alex disappeared; he's not at the zoo anymore."
"Fine! He kidnapped the giraffe, the hippo, and the giraffe, and has…"
"They all disappeared with Alex sir, they're all gone."
"Fine! He's taken the tigers, elephants, and hyenas, better Karl?"
"Much better sir!"
"Okay so he's taken them and is planning to turn him into his minions, stop him Agent P!" Agent P saluted and began to go.
"Hey a mission, can we go?" Private spoke up. "That's sound good; can we go Skipper?" He tugged on Skipper's flipper.
"Guys, guys!" Skipper told them. "Hold up, we simply can't go on this mission with him; this is his business, we simply can't intrude."
"Oh please Skipper." Pleaded Private. "We go on adventures all the time, it'll be fun!"
"Plus we know the zoo better." Kowalski added. "So we can help him out." Rico nodded excitedly.
Skipper looked at his companions, they all looked hopeful. Skipper sighed.
"Fine. We can go." The penguins jumped up and cheered. "Okay troop, no more ice cream; we got a mission to do." They all cheered again as they threw their spoons away and cleared their faces off.
"Yeah, I knew you would come to your senses Skipper." Private said excitedly.
"Okay." Monogram told them. "Then you all need fedoras and cool agent names."
"Easy peasy." Skipper told him. "Just don't call me The Penguin; I feel that name has already been used. And don't call me the annoying one like ring tail does."
"Okay I'll call the bossy one Agent P2!"
"Hey!" Skipper felt insulted. "Now be nice, I'm not bossy!"
"I'll call the smart one Agent P3, the vomiting one Agent P4, and the young one Agent P5."
"Oooh, you mean as in player 5 like the humans play on their moving pictures boxes?"
"No, I mean P as in penguin; now go get your hats."
"Yes sir!" He saluted then the 4 went to get their fedoras from the holders and put them on.
"All of us are ready for acti0on." Skipper said.
"Good now, go go go!" They all saluted, and then the 5 went out of the room.
"Bye!" Private waved then ran after the others.
"So let's talk about that ballet." Karl changed the subject. Monogram sighed.
"Karl, not now."
"Come on, I won't tell!"
"Karl, I have a life you know nothing about."
As they snuck outside, Julien was jumping up and down and dancing on their moon Jump for the people and Perry's family and friends.
""I'm a bouncy, bouncy, groovn' lemur!" Julien said. "Come on guys, dance with me and feel the beat!"
"We're..danceing…your…highness." Maurice sounded tired.
"Can we stop now?" Mort wanted to know. "All of this dancing is…I'm tired!"
"No!" Julien ordered. "Keep dancing, they like it!" The two lemurs sighed and continued dancing. Then mort fainted in exhaustion as the other lemurs were still at it.
The five agents went to Dr. Doofenshirtz's layer.