Uzu stiffed slightly in the hospital bed causing Kakashi to look up at her from his place on the floor, where Tsunade had ordered him to sit until the bruises faded from her little gaki's body. The bruises had faded hours ago, Kakashi had checked Uzu's body to see how many of them remained about an hour or so ago, but even though the bruises had faded he had continued to sit in the floor and stare blankly ahead and wondered if having him for a mate was really the best thing for Uzu's health.

He knew that eh was bound to think negatively for several reasons. One of which was the condition that Uzu had been in when he had returned her to her hospital room to rest and heal without worry that he might hurt her again. Another reason was the guilt.

God he hated the guilt eating away at him.

He had almost fucked Uzu to death...literally. So of course he felt guilty.

He had taken advantage of her in a vulnerable state when he should have just told her that he didn't want sex, he just wanted to hold her. And he would have if she hadn't insisted that she needed him to make her forget Shiri's attack on her.

But it didn't change the fact that he should have still said no. He got up and moved to stand beside her, noting that she was breathing much easier now than she had been when he had first brought her back, meaning that Kyubbi was doing it's job, and keeping her alive. Thank god for small mircales. He thought as she opened her eyes and looked at him through glazed eyes.

"K..shi?" Her voice sounded rougher than usual, weaker, and came out as a rasp and he wondered if maybe she had somehow damaged her voice when he had had her screaming earlier.

"Hey beautiful. How are you feeling?"

Uzu frowned and shifted slightly, tried to push herself upright, but her body was still too weak and she fell back against the pillows sweating and shaking and blinking back tears. Kakashi reached out and put his hand against her forehead and smoothed her soft hair from her face. "Oh honey...don't try to move okay. You're body is still healing from earlier." He said gently as he finger combed her hair, working out the tangles as quickly and painlessly as he could just because he needed to touch her.

He needed to assure himself that she was really stillalive and that he hadn't accidentally taken things too far and killed her while loving her with his body. She worked her throat and tried to speak again, but no sound came out and Kakashi grabbed the plastic cup on the bedside table and walked over to the small sink across form the bed and got some water for her then walked back over to the bed and slipped an arm under her shoulders and lifted her up slightly and helped her to take a sip of water, hoping that it might help her throat.

Once she had drunk enough he laid her back on the bed and set the cup aside and stared at her as she sighed softly and closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep. He wasn't sure what to do now. All he knew was that he didn't think that he should be here when she woke up again.

He leaned over her and kissed her lips gently then stepped back and straitened his spine and whispered a soft apology for needing to leave her. Because now he was totally convinced that this was the right thing to do.

He couldn't be her partner anymore.

Because if he was...he might end up killing her.


Today I was told that my grandmother had only a few weeks left to live. She's been put on Hospice. And this will be the last Christmas that we have with her.

And I'm not really sure what to feel.

Anyways I'll try to update again as soon as I can, but right now I have a really bad headache and need to lay down.