Chapter Five: Disconnection
Cold dew glittered on empty benches in the morning light, catching Luka's eyes, until a bitter breeze blew right through her jacket, effectively distracting her from admiring the scenery. Winter had encroached upon the town suddenly, and Luka pulled her far too flimsy scarf tighter around her neck in the best attempt to ward off the chill.
Gakupo's small café looked even more cosy than usual in this weather, and Luka quickened her pace, impatient to move into the warmth. She paused for a moment a few steps from the door, noticing the windows had turned opaque from the temperature. The girlish urge to wipe a message on the dewy surface, maybe something along the lines of 'Gakupo x Luka 4 evar', made Luka giggle, and with that simple mood-lifter she pushed inside with a jingle of the bell.
Within the building, Gakupo was mindlessly rearranging chairs around tables, the screech of wood on floor the only sound until Luka entered. Gakupo looked up expectantly when she stepped over to him, her heeled boots clacking.
"Good morning," He greeted, smiling lightly.
"'Morning," Luka acknowledged in return, then wandered to a nearby table. "I'll have the usual," she told him, without even glancing at the menu, while seating herself neatly.
"You do realise we are not technically open for another fifteen minutes," Gakupo responded instantly.
Luka turned to him, and put on a cat-like smile. "Please?"
An odd look momentarily flashed across his face, but then he sighed theatrically as he did always, moving off behind the counter to fix her breakfast. Luka blinked at his retreating figure, somewhat confused by the first expression. Luka shook her head, clearing her thoughts. It was the early morning, he was simply tired – probably from spending late nights doing frivolous things on the internet – and that was all.
Luka tapped a rhythmless beat on the table until he returned with steaming pancakes and a small pot of tea that sent a delightful aroma into the air. Inhaling deeply and flipping her pink locks over her shoulders so that they would not fall into her food (which had, rather grossly, happened before), Luka smiled up at Gakupo in thanks.
She would have then started to dig into her meal, but instead Luka froze. He was looking towards her with that unexpected expression on his face again, something foreign that Luka could not discern. She found herself suddenly nervous, placing her hands in her lap and fumbling with them. She hesitated for a couple of seconds before uneasily speaking.
"…Is something wrong?"
As quickly as the mood came on, it disappeared, and Gakupo snapped his head up.
"Oh, not at all!" He quickly amended, waving his hands. "I merely got lost in thought for a moment there, haha."
Luka stared at him, mostly unconvinced.
"Alright," Gakupo edgily admitted, his shoulders tensing a little, "I have something to… ask you. But finish eating first."
"Oh, okay." Luka muttered, not much more reassured. She prodded at her food, managing her way through at least one pancake and half a cup of light tea, her appetite oddly dry after Gakupo's words.
Gakupo busied himself around the café, choosing not to sit opposite Luka like he would on any other morning. She almost missed the way he would ask awkward questions right when she had a mouthful of food, forcing her to splutter and choke indignant words out between bites. Luka wondered if this was karma – she had once wished that Gakupo would be less exasperating…
Her reverie was quickly broken when Gakupo finally did sit himself at the table, his brows creased in a pensive expression, like he was trying to choose the right words. Luka sat in silence, waiting for him to speak. Finally, he took a breath, and began.
"Are you serious about this relationship?"
"Of course." Luka replied honestly, no hesitation. After her long ice queen act, admitting something like this was almost a relief. Now all that was left was to admit that certain other feeling. Back to the present though, Luka realised it was a rather odd question to ask out of the blue. Where was he going with this?
Gakupo made no movements to continue at first, as her answer seemed to make him more nervous, and he directed his gaze out a window. Then abruptly he turned his sight back, and broke out into an apologetic smile.
"This really isn't the right place for me to say this," Gakupo began, his appearance turning meek. "We should meet up elsewhere. Would Saturday at the East Park be alright for you? Say, at about three in the afternoon?"
Luka blinked. It was exact place, only a few hours earlier, of the meet she was intended to have with Gakupo as her online self. Baffled, but unable to show her surprise, she nodded. "That's fine."
Gakupo's eyes melded into a guilty look, and Luka hoped it was because of all this mystery about why exactly he wanted to talk to her. His mouth opened, ready to say something more, but the door's bell tinkled merrily, breaking the mood in a second. Gakupo stood and, with only one quick glance at Luka, moved swiftly over to the new patron, pleasantries and manners all the way.
Luka heaved a sigh, deciding to take this as her cue to exit. With a final sip from her unfinished drink, she removed herself from her chair, sparing only a few moments to place some coins on the table. Moving off, just before she reached the doorway, Luka looked back. Gakupo was staring after her, and when he noticed her own look, he gave a small wave of goodbye. She waved back, and left.
As she walked the streets, which were now slightly warmer and more bearable than earlier, her heart felt strangely heavy. The whole scene that just took place left her more confused than anything had before. Luka was never the best at understanding emotions in others, but she thought she had become quite proficient when it came to her effeminate man. Obviously, she still had some work to do.
Disappointed in her own shortcomings, Luka kept replaying the situation in her head. She wasn't sure what she could have done differently to reap a different outcome, but Luka was let down that she didn't even manage to sneak a quick kiss on his cheek…
Honestly though, what did Gakupo mean?
Luka stopped, and rubbed at her temples. This was going in circles. She had to stay her thinking. Saturday was only a day away; whatever important thing Gakupo had to impart on her would be known then and only then.
Now considering the closeness of the date, Luka realised she should probably start deciding what exactly she was going to wear. As a woman of efficiency, when she started dating Gakupo, Luka came to the fast conclusion that picking out attractive clothing was not her forte. And it annoyed her greatly.
This in mind, Luka strode home with a purposeful gait. Officially distracted for the rest of the day, she huffed around the house, messing and rearranging her wardrobe. By the afternoon, she had succeeded in not only gaining a decent outfit, but also creating a large clutter for her to tidy.
Now flopped out on the couch, Luka tiredly blinked at the ceiling, and her mind wandered. She could all but help drifting back to the same thoughts of the morning.
What did he want to ask her anyway? She severely hoped it wouldn't be to see what colour bra she was wearing.
Chuckling half-heartedly at that, Luka shook her head. She stretched her arms, feeling around the crevices of the sofa for the remote control, until she finally found the object. Flicking on the television, Luka caught the end of a periodic weather report.
"Scattered showers and cloud cover for tomorrow – remember to pack your umbrella! This is Hatsune Miku, and I'll see you later for the 6 pm report!"
The overly bright grin of the reporter faded away as the channel logo filled up the screen, and Luka glared at it. Of all the days that rain could have happened…
"No helping it…" Luka mumbled out loud, and then she mentally slapped herself at how depressed she sounded. She was really overreacting today! Besides, constantly worrying that what Gakupo wished to tell her was necessarily a bad thing couldn't be good for her psyche. It was just a foreboding hunch, and the news of a bit of precipitation had put her in a damp mood.
Luka swung herself up into a sitting position, then squeezed her eyes shut and pinched her cheeks.
"Lighten up!" She ordered herself, then took a deep breath. Switching the channel to some comedy, she curled herself against an armrest and settled.
Only moving to eat a reheated meal, Luka spent the rest of the night staring at the television until her eyes started to droop, and she finally crawled off to bed.
It was only lightly raining, but the drops were bulbous, splattering ungracefully in Luka's hair. Maybe actors looked attractive with shining jewels of water sitting prettily on their heads, but instead she had these clumps of dark wet locks sticking to her scalp. Luka knew she was going to look drowned by the time she got home. For the millionth time, she cursed herself for not checking that she actually had a working umbrella.
The clouds let through only a grey light and Luka moodily hugged her arms to her body, glaring around the mostly sparse park in search of that certain someone. Gakupo was usually punctual, but if today become the one day he was late, Luka made no promises to refrain from killing him. The stupid idiot. Making her do stupid things.
Luka was interrupted from a possibly stupid rant when the muffled, and slightly soggy, sound of footsteps approached from her right. She looked up, already pouting, because there was no doubt who this was. Blue eyes met with violet and Luka started smiling, but was immediately disheartened when Gakupo shifted his gaze to some point beside her and offered only a weak twitch of his lips in return.
A heavy weight settled in her stomach and Luka started winding her hands around each other. It was incredibly disconcerting to see Gakupo looking both serious and depressed – two emotions that rarely ever crossed his face. Yet here they were, simultaneously. Luka didn't remove her gaze from his eyes though, despite his efforts to avoid her own. She was determined to get though this; whatever this was.
"So… What did you want to ask me?" Luka slowly solicited, attempting to sound casual. Suddenly the cold water in her hair felt obvious and she hoped she didn't look too ridiculous in front of him. Somehow, even though Luka could see no umbrella or any form of water protection, Gakupo's hair looked just perfect. Goddammit.
Gakupo said nothing at first, but offered his hand to her. Luka took it, and she thought he was going to pull her towards him, but he simply held it lightly. They stood a little under an arm's length from each other. Luka wanted to move forward, closer to him, but an invisible force kept her rooted.
"Luka," Gakupo spoke, then stopped. He took a deep breath. "I suppose I should just say this simply."
"We should break up."
Luka stood frozen. The world suddenly made no sense and she stayed dumbfounded for a few moments while the reality was slowly digested. Her brain floundered on the last two words, but as soon as their meaning settled in…
Luka couldn't breathe. Something was crushing her lungs, her entire chest. She could feel every painful heartbeat against her ribs, and her blood was cold.
"What…?" She mumbled out, barely managing to form the correct consonants. Searching Gakupo's face, she found no answers, only his bare guilt and obvious sadness.
"It's… not you." He tried, seeming to uncharacteristically stumble over his words. "It's me and – I'm sorry, that sounded so horribly cliché, I just… It really is me and – this is hard to explain." Gakupo lowered his head, his bangs obscuring his eyes.
Luka felt frozen on the inside. It was too hard to understand. She doubted any amount of justification on Gakupo's part would relieve the pressure, there was too much. In one sudden movement, Luka wretched her hand from his lax grip.
Anger; it was hot, boiling. It made the cold melt away for just a moment.
"I don't need an explanation." She snapped, while her mind screamed something entirely different. Luka could barely hear Gakupo's voice above the questions that roared within her head.
"I should have been honest from the start – I'm sorry, Luka, I know you're upset—"
"Who said I-I'm upset, huh?" Luka rasped, her voice beginning to crack. Ignoring the gathering liquid in the corner of her eyes, she narrowed her expression into a glare. It was almost physically incapacitating. The pain, that is. In her chest. Luka didn't know what to do. She wanted to scream at Gakupo, hit and punch him and just show him how she felt; and then she felt paralysed, chilled to the core, unable to do anything more than clench fists and fight back tears.
Why was this happening? Hadn't things been completely fine? Sure, she snapped at him more than a few times, and occasionally he replied with some of his own cold words, but all was always forgiven.
Gakupo was apologising again, or at least she thought he was, Luka couldn't really understand the words his lips formed.
"Just shut up. I don't want to hear it." Luka cut in scathingly. "I'm going h-home."
Without waiting another moment, Luka took all her strength and broke from the invisible hold that had rooted her to the ground. Almost painfully, she took one step, then another, away from Gakupo. He did not follow her, but she slowly increased her pace. Luka didn't notice that she had eventually started running, not until she found herself staring at her plain front door, panting breathlessly.
Fumbling her keys, and messily unlocking the door, it wasn't until she was within the confines of her house that the dam wall broke.
Had she been in a state of coherent thought, Luka may have begun to wonder what Gakupo's real reasons were. She may have noticed, as the time for MaguroLover and Dancing_Samurai's first offline meet came and went, that it may have something to do with her 'alternative' self.
Instead, only the sounds of muffled cries resonated, only stopping momentarily as Luka staggered shakily into the study, and yanked out the internet cable from her slightly dusty modem. The laptop flickered.
Not connected – No connections are available.
A/N: Sorry for all the emo here xD
This is important plot stuff ono
You'll find out everything in the next (and final) chapter!
It will also be in Gakupo's pov :3
'Cause I bet you're all wondering what's gotten into him. Don't worry, he's not as bad as he seems in this chapter oAo; He's just stupid~ xD